Emiya Clan Chronicles
by Mu-Sensei
Summary: Collection of OMAKE stories of the Emiya Clan, and miscellaneous crossovers.  - This is based on a possible future of In Flight - Lots of OCs -
1. Disclaimer and Useful Notes

Kinoto Nasu and Type-Moon owns Fate / Stay Night, Sakurako Gokurakuin owns Sekirei, All the other Series (which are too many to list) are properties of their respective authors.

Gabriel Blessing owns Hill of Swords and In Flight

I own nothing but the ideas of these silly OMAKEs that were published at:

_forum dot fanfiction dot net - topic - 88086 - _

(Replace 'dot' for . and the traces for slashes)

that Gabriel Blessing graciously allowed me to post here.

…

**The Emiya Clan** is a Community Made series of Omakes and Stories that can be found on the aforementioned Forum, and the Index of Omakes can be found here:

_forum dot fanfiction dot net - topic - 88086 - 59073588 - 1 - _

And Information about the Characters, Timeline and Crossovers are available in the TV Tropes Page:

_Tvtropes dot org - pmwiki - pmwiki dot php - FanFic - TheEmiyaClan?from=Main dot TheEmiyaClan_

…

So please, can the annoying lawyers back off!

…

As the Stories are in archived in Chronological order, but written at random an update index will be kept here. Newest entries are in bold.

Sakura Files, Day 1 - Revised 2012-05-09

Sakura Files, Day 2 - Revised 2012-05-09

Long Lost Lovers? - Revised 2012-05-09

- The King of Nannies -

The King of Nannies - The Summoning - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - Little Devil in Disguise - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - Proper Education - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - The Cook - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - Teach your Children Well- Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - Dirty Laundry - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - Summoning Up Trouble - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - Child's Play, Adult's Game - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - The Fifth's Heir - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The King of Nannies - New Nanny in the House - Draft 2011-XX-XX

- The King of Nannies -

Keiko in a Bad Day - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Troubled Fate 1, To Catch a Falling Star - Revised 2012-05-09

Troubled Fate 2, Reactions - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Troubled Fate 3, Crash Course - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Troubled Fate 2, First Impact - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Sexy Kill is Overkill - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Meet the Nanny - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Reactions and Actions - Revised 2012-05-09

**Harem Management - The Morning After - Revised 2012-05-23**

Harem Management - Teachings - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Rules and Gadgets - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Lost in the World - Beautiful Sicily - Revised 2012-05-09

**Lost In the World - Southern Paradise - Revised 2012-05-23**

Experiments - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Kei's Code - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Gun Freak - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Father Hen - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Just another Day - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Fated Encounters - Draft 2011-XX-XX

Ideals and Politics - Draft 2011-XX-XX

The Last Day of Kamikura Island - Revised 2012-05-09


	2. Sakura Files, Day 1

"Is this the one? The lights are on." Miya pointed the Japanese-style house ahead.

"Yeah, Fuji-nee must be in there. She said that she stays over sometimes…"

"Have you told her that we are-" I felt my insides go cold when Rin reminded me of THAT single detail.

"Oh root! I didn't told Fuji-nee-"

"Told me what Shirou?" Said tiger called from behind us, shopping bags in hand.

"It's Karma, isn't?"

"Don't change the subject: what haven't you told me?" I turned to face my former caretaker. "And who is this new woman? Where is Saber-san?" She forwarded more questions instantly

Luckily Rin stepped forward in my defense: "He didn't call to tell that we will be staying over for some time, and this is Miya, and Saber is on the next flight. In that order."

"Oh." She turned to Miya, "Pleasure to meetcha Miya-san, I'm-"

"Fujimura Taiga. Anata told me about you. I'm Emiya Miya." She bowed slightly. Rin snickered from her side.

"You're from Kiritsugu's Family?" Fuji-nee was skeptical. "Nevermind. Let's get inside, Sakura will be happy to see you."

"How is she?" I ask. She have been sending me postcards, but we haven't seen each other in years…

"Sick today." Fuji-nee slumped. "Her health was never as good as yours, but it's getting worse recently. Rider-chan helps, but she have been calling for you in her sleep."

The three of us tensed. "Rider?"

"Yeah. Sometime after you left Sakura for both Rin and Saber, she started dating that woman…She denies, obviously, but I've heard them some nights." She looked straight at me. "Such a sweet girl… It's your fault for rejecting her. And don't dare to get perverted thoughts on that thick head of yours." She pushed the door.

"Tadaima!"

"Okaeri. Did you got the pills?" A calm voice answered.

"Yep. Brought pizza and teriyaki too!" Fuji-nee called cheerfully. "How is she?"

"Better. The fever lowered." She came in sight.

Tall, long purple hair, a set of curves to match most of my Sekirei and a beautiful face. And that uncommon eyes. Yes, it was the same Servant. Though Shinji spilled out that Sakura was the true master, and the Identity of the servant she called, well the idea most make of Medusa certainly doesn't match the woman in front of us… not to mention that part about the Gorgon. Then again considering I'm married to _KING ARTHUR_ of the legends, mythological description aren't always accurate.

"I sure hope you're looking at her face Shirou." Rin called from my side, much to the tiger's amusement.

"So you're an item now?" She asked.

"Married actually." Rin answered, absentmindedly opening a huge can of worms…

"MARRIED!" Fuji-nee screamed.

"Whosemarried Fujimura-san?" Sakura asked from the corridor. She almost looked younger in the oversized pajamas and the drowsy expression on her flushed face. I actually don't recall seeing her sleepy, ever. She must be really bad.

Them our eyes met. "Sempai!" She flushed even more. "I was just, I mean it was just…"

"Fuji-nee said you were staying over. No problem." I waved it off.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" I found myself asking in unison with Rider.

"I'm alright now…"

… A few hours later…

Shirou sighed as he dropped on the futons.

"Diner was sure amusing ne, anata?" Miya joked lightheartedly.

"If by amusing you mean one of the first times I felt like running away to hole in some apostle's den? Yes, veeery amusing." He drawled his voice in dry sarcasm. "I know it's my fault for not telling Fuji-nee we married before, but... I felt like a piece of meat for the entire dinner!"

"I think it's more about the number of wives than that you're married, Shirou, Especially if your harem is planning to expand soon." I quipped.

"Yeah, I understand she being angry for that." Shirou scratched his head. "Wait? WHAT!"

"Few people could hope to match you in a fight, yet I think NO ONE could match you in love relationships," I paused letting he draws a wrong conclusion, and when he blushed I dropped the bomb: "and not in a good way. You're _really _a clueless Idiot, you know that?"

"No, back there. What is this about my harem _expanding_? I think of Fuji-nee as an older _sister_, nothing more OK?" He panicked, even more when Miya covered her amused smile.

"Anata, how do you think your 'sister' will react when the others arrive tomorrow?" He paled. Not that I could blame him. Miya is the most proper lady one could be, and I'm not very behind, yet Fujimura still freaked out when discovered about his polyamorous relationship. I don't want to be near when she meets Musubi, Kazehana, Akitsu or Homura neither Matsu. No, _especially_ Matsu. I shudder.

Still, the single fact that my sister, or ex-sister in case, still in love with him is... conflicting to say the least. I sight and wrap myself in his arm.

"It's Sakura, not Fujimura." I say simply. He tense under me, but make no motion, nor say anything.

...

Rin and Miya slept almost immediately, the former pinning my right arm, while the latter claimed my chest as a pillow. I'm still awake. Sleep wouldn't come after Rin told me WHO exactly was in love with me. How could I be so stupid! All the signs, all this time... all over my head, the cynical part of me completed.

"_WHAT!" Fuji-nee screamed at the top of her lungs. "How could you Shirou? How could you do this to Sakura-chan? To ME? You married an older woman but never thought of me! You ignored this beautiful flower all along! We weren't even invited! Aren't we beautiful enough? Nice enough?" She cried her crocodile tears loudly. I just scratch myself and let her rant... And my eyes were drawn to Sakura._

_She was once cute, then beautiful... now she is just gorgeous. I found myself remembering her on the corridor, beautiful even when all flushed and sleepy. And compare with the image of beauty I have in front of me at now and I have to force myself to not drool. Or stare._

"…_rou?" Someone poke me. "Huh?"_

"_You spaced out there dear." Miya pointed helpfully._

"_Sorry." I scratched my head awkwardly. Better not voice any of my thoughts… "Who asked what?"_

"_I asked what happened that you haven't married Rin?" What?_

_My face must have answered enough for Fuji-nee draw some of those weird conclusions of her: "You said Miya-san is your wife right? You left to study in London with Saber-san and Rin than came married with another clearly Japanese lady yet still in good terms with Rin and Saber-san! Suspicious! Very suspicious!" I facepalm and groan as her tirade got more energetic and she start to stand up. Clearly she got the wrong impression, though this time is arguably less of her fault and more like a culture thing._

_I wonder since when I started to think about monogamy as a cultural limitation instead of an ethical obligation in a relationship. I guess my circumstances did help put it in perspective…_

"…_the way you were looking at her, and why your lovely wife hasn't smacked you upside the head! If it was me you wouldn't behave like that!" She finished her tirade. I sigh. _

"_Fuji-nee… I think is something of a misunderstand he-"_

"_No it's not!" She cut my reply short. "You're stringing Tohsaka-san and Saber along! I thought I taught you better!" She put her hands on her head in distress. Sakura blushed furiously._

"_He is doing what?" Rin asked from the door. When she left?_

"_Poor Rin," She moved to said woman's side, "I won't left evil Shirou take advantage of you, I will protect your maidenhood!" and patted head like one would at a little child_

_Rin's surprised look on met mine, and we both changed to annoyed at my snickering._

_Then my laughter won. And everyone looked at me._

"_What-" Fuji-nee started._

"_You will protect __**Rin**__ from __**ME**__? That is all backwards, Fuji-nee! And Rin is my wife too!"_

"_Shirou! That is a joke right?" She looked down at Rin for confirmation. Said girl only raised her hand to show the ring I gave her._

_Fuji-nee gasped and drew breath, but I was faster: "I have eleven wives, Saber, Rin, Akitsu, Homura, Musubi, Matsu, Tsukiumi, Miya, Uzume, Chiyo and Karasuba. We couldn't find enough rooms in a single flight, so Rin came with me because she knows Fuyuki and Miya… well let's just say you're going to be an __**aunt**__ soon."_

_Her mouth was in the floor, Sakura was stunned silent, and Rider was regarding me with something wariness and curiosity?_

"_Eleven…" Fuji-nee started. "How do you even make it work?" Rin gave up holding her laughter and I have to fight down a little smile..._

"_Sometimes I ask that myself. What else can I say: It works?" I shrug._

After one hour laying still so Miya could reach deep slumber, I substitute myself with Rin so they embrace each other and I was free to walk at my house. Heh, considering my practice in shrugging the girls every morning, I might as well declare myself capable of that ninja escape technique. No, considering sometimes I have escaped from being bound by Rin and Miya, I **am** capable of that.

I walk through the dark corridors with the practice of my childhood, enjoying the clear summer night, and then leave the building to my workshop. Well try, at least. Half way I stop, my sense of smell overpowered by a sweet odor of magic, combined with lilies and sex… and Sakura. And Rider. I remember what Fuji-nee said earlier about them both, and find myself blushing alone in the corridor like a fool.

Here I thought I was over female-induced embarrassment…

I hear a moan from one of the rooms, and the smells intensify for an instant…

And then vanish, as if it wasn't even there. Releasing a breath I never knew I was holding, I turn to get back to my room. Yes, it's too dangerous to walk here at night, my house or not.

The smell returns, three times stronger, and I felt like rooted to the floor, unable to move, while a pair of slender arms wrap around my torso, and soft mounds press into my back…

The lights turn on.

A sleepy Rin walks in our direction, gaze unfocused, and then enters the bathroom. Sakura, for I'm sure it was her, release me and the smell disappear, like it was from a dream. Rin pops her head from the bathroom, fully awake and surprised.

"What are you doing standing there like an idiot, Shirou?"

"Going to the shed." I answer with the truth.

"Isn't that the other way?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Uh…" The smell came back, and a moan is heard. Rin blushes, along with me. "Nevermind."

"Back to our room them?" I offer. She just nods once, still stunned. Along with the empowering smell from earlier, I smell something from Rin too…

"Do you realize I lost any desire to sleep now, right?" She turns to me, a predatory smile on her lips. Oh my...


	3. Sakura Files, Day 2

I wake up still a bit sore from the previous night. Seeing sempai, no Shirou again was such a shock. The worms got agitated again. Rider-chan helps but she didn't sate me completely... I sigh. I want Shirou so much. But he is married, and I can't make him betray his wife. Eh, wives.

I wash myself, and go to make breakfast when I heard the doors open. A quick glance at the clock confirms that is too early to be Fujimura-san. I just hope isn't aniki or oji-san to drag me back home... "Tadaima!" A feminine voice called from the entrance.

I pop my head in the corridor to find an assortment of women, different hairstyles every shade of hair and every kind of looks, but all lusciously beautiful... "Saber-san!" and thankfully, one familiar face between them.

"Oh! Hello Sakura!" She bow a bit in response. "Sorry to intrude, but were back from the airport..." She didn't finish, or rather, her stomach finished for her. Oh.

"Don't worry Saber-san!" I gave her a reassuring smile: "Breakfast will be ready soon." She smiled back. At least I'm in more familiar grounds.

"Can't you think of something else besides food?" And taller and more... talented blonde complained at her. Ops, almost forgot! Sempai's wives.

"Ahn, pleased to meet you all. I'm Sakura Matou." I bow to them.

"Pleased to-" Someone tried to answer but… "Awh... She is so~o cute!" before I could register anything else, I was being smothered against impossibly sized breasts! "I go next!" Another voice called out. "Matsu! Musubi-san!" Saber called them.

As I was able to breathe again, I noticed a silver haired woman and Saber-san was between me and a redhead and a brunette scolding them. "For heaven's sake! Behave Matsu!"

"Wow, Shirou sure knows how to pick them." Until Rider came and _everything_ froze under Saber's sheer presence. "Ah! Saber-san, please... Rider-san is with me. She won't do anything..." I should have told her.

…

"…ar, Shirou." Rin mumbled sleepily at my right.

"She is kind of cute when she sleeps, I have to admit." I look to the left side of my chest to find the source of the comment, Miya looking back at me. "Morning Anata!" She whispered.

"Morning. What time is it?" She maneuvered to look at the clock, putting a naked breast to my face in the process. "10:30. Guess we overslept."

"I ant moar!" Rin called in her sleep, and glued herself to my side to avoid sunlight. "Sorry Rin-chan, but is time to wake up!"

"Uhgkt?" I rolled my eyes, while Miya giggled at her response.

"Leave her to sleep, Shirou. Let's go to breakfast."

I shrug and change places with a pillow. "If she gets frisky tonight for being well rested it will be you to deal with it." I simply don't have the energy to another go. "And take easy on me too, will you?" I ask her.

"Ahw, but that wouldn't do anata." She gives me a content smile. "One or two months and I'll not be able to play anymore, let me have some fun while -." She covered a yawn.

"As long as you don't break me in a half." I shot an annoyed look at her.

"I told you to bring my wraps." She shot right back.

"Can you two shut up or make out already? I want to sleep, dammit!" Rin shouted from the futon.

"Morning sunshine!" Miya turn the playful banter to her "Why so annoyed?"

She rises turning a murderous glare at me, and even Miya took a step back, while I chuckled awkwardly scratching my neck. "Guess I'm not forgiven yet?"

"What have he done this time, Rin?" Miya asked in curiosity.

"Called for the wrong girl." The glare intensified. Miya only giggled. "She called you Chiyo again?" The purplette asked.

"HEY! I did that ONCE!" I scowl at Miya. "And, in my defense I was blindfolded." I add more subdued.

"Shirou! What's with the shouting?" Taiga entered my room with no regards for our state of (un)dress.

"Erm, morning, Fuji-nee?" I offered.

…

_Damn, shouldn't have drank so much tea. Bathroom… Bathroom._

_I walk through the corridor and flip the first switch I find, seeing Shirou standing like an idiot in the middle of the hallways, and a white haired, very curvaceous and naked, woman wrapped around him. I enter the bathroom to relie-_

_NO! BACK THERE! WHO'S WRAPPED IN SHIROU?_

_I pop my head back out. No one besides Shirou on the corridor. I'm fantasying again. Damn Shirou for making me fell so hot! I shake my head to clear my thoughts. After a quick moment in the restroom I came back and dragged him to have some fun time._

_Miya woke up unfortunately, and took the first time while I was still in foreplay, and when it was up there in my turn he does __**that**__. He called me Sakura._

_*SLAP*_

"_I'm not my sister dammit!" I kick out of him, and turn to the side to sleep, not before delivering a kick in his ribs._

"_Sister?" Oh damn! He realizes his stupidity. "Eh, sorry Rin, I…"_

"_If you want girl-on-girl fantasies go to Uzume and Chiyo! I'm sick of you!"_

"_Ehh, isn't like that, Rin," He panicked._

"_This conversation is over! Good. __**Night!**__"_

Distracted as I was in my thoughts I barely registered Fujimura entering the room, but still snickered when she hit the door frame in her hasty retreat.

Shirou excused himself some more while we dressed, which I promptly ignored, and we moved to the dining room.

Judging by the sound of chattering (and Musubi's loud love declarations), it looks like the rest of our family arrived early.

…

It certainly took a while, but we got back to the dining room and I could almost complete the breakfast in time...

"Ohayo Sakura-chan!"Taiga called from the door, then saw all the girls, frozen and sat quietly, sulking and muttering unintelligibly things.

"Fujimura-san..."

"What, you're 'The Tiger'?" One of the girls, Uzume asked cheerfully. "The one who is like a nee-san to him? I thought you were older looking." I don't know if it was a compliment, but Sensei ignored it in favor of examining the girls...

"What is with you girls? Did Shirou found you all at some bra models contest? She poked the one in a purple dress and _they_ jiggled. Dear god they _jiggled_. I look at mine. Maybe is why sempai don't show too much reaction to me. On a second thought... I look at Saber and the other blonde girl. I don't think it would be _that_.

"What? You think Shirou-tan choose us for our sizes?" Matsu asked giggling. "Nah... He's more or less don't care for that as long as it's female and pretty!" Then she shot a weird look at Saber and then the one called Homura… "Nah, not even being female is required! Shirou's manliness can make Bishounens into pretty girls!"

She was promptly hit in the head for that weird declaration, of course. But Shirou's manliness… can handle all these girls… I feel my face erupt like a volcano. That is not very like sempai...

"Morning girls!" Shirou called.

…Or so I thought, until he came in ruffled and crumpled and looking tired with a smiling Miya-san and blushing Rin.

"Shirou. You're late!" Saber shot a glare in response.

"He must have had a rough night…ufufu." Matsu elbowed the blonde warrior suggestively. Rider just nodded.

"I can believe you three did '_that_'!" Taiga complained.

"What is the matter One-san? We're married so there is no problem, right?" Uzume-san asked Fujimura.

"I want to marry onii-chan so I can sleep with him again, and play with his swords!" Kusano-chan shouted loudly. After that awkward line, you could practically taste the tension in the air.

"Eh, Fuji-nee?" Shirou asked tentatively. Rin's face stretched into a cat-like smile.

"I don't believe you would be capable of _that_ level of perversion, even if you have a harem." She waved it off. "Now speaking of which..." Then grabbed Sempai by his shirt neck, and raised him to eye level... "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING NOT ONLY MARRING A DOZEN GIRLS BUT NOT INVITING US TO THE WEDDING?" She shook him for good measure.

"If you were there you would probably have been forced to marry him too..." Sempai whined. _WHAT_! It means that the only reason I'm _NOT_ married to sempai is that I didn´t go to England with him!

...

I don't know much, but one moment I was being choked to death by Fuji-nee and the next was like some unholy evil was released in righteous fury over the world... Rin, Rider and Saber tensed, Miya, Matsu and Uzume became rigid with anticipation, Karasuba smirk expanded into a smile, and Sakura paralyzed for a moment, and then became surprised... Then _it_ vanished as fast as it came.

I think it was Fuji-nee who summed it up nicely with her loud "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!"

…

After the weird incident in breakfast I retreat to some training in the dojo. Kanshou and Bakuya in hands, I empty my mind and run through forms already ingrained in my mind, faster and faster… Duck, parry, slash, parry, sidestep, slash upwards, spin, pierce with the left blade…

"It's impressive for someone to pick a Heroic Spirit's style so fast you know?" Rider's sensuous voice asks from a corner. I froze in mid step, and turned to look at her.

Luckily I can deal with women better now, thanks to my... _experience_. I would've shorted a fuse at seeing a beauty like her sat and look like _that_ at me.

I try to reply without telling Archer's identity. "Eh... There were unexpected circumstances..."

Her left leg move up, and I try to keep my eye on her face. She gives me a knowing smile. 'She is doing it on _purpose_!' then she pushed herself up and stretched her arms up, forcing me to suppress a nosebleed.

"Want to play for a bit?" She bring her chain-nails and assume her on-four stance, only more relaxed than the other times I saw her fight.

We move at the same time, she goes forward, I dart left, and aim to her left thigh, carefully letting my right arm unprotected, and as she throws her dagger at me, and I release the white blade to grab the chain and yank it, yet not only she retained her balance, but takes the spinning, and position her arms to deliver a double fast kick with the momentum. I avoid, ducking low, release the chain, and duck the other chain end that she pulled back, raising a newly formed Bakuya in hands to strike at her left arm, and she jumps over me, and pull her chains, wrapping me around nearly immobile.

"I win." She whispers on my ear.

"Of course, I didn't think it could end differently." I shrug. Good as I am, I no match for a Heroic Spirit.

"You did very well for a human." She loosened the chains, but didn't step back. "You're the only human capable of keeping up with me at full speed."

"Uh. One more time?" I ask. She was at full speed? I remember she being faster, and Shinji said she was even faster with Sakura as a master...

"Sure. We can do it much as you want." I facepalm. Matsu must be making too much of an influence on me, If I took her phrasing in not so innocent terms.

"Anything wrong?" she tilts her head cutely. Strange how can she be so cute and innocent sometimes… almost like Sakura. Maybe Sakura have a sexy side like Rider into her somehow…

"It's nothing." I say both to her and myself.

We continue our spar. She threw the nail directly and I tried once more to grab it, but a yank of the chain and it changed course, wrapping my stretched arm, and I ducked an overhead kick. Then froze as a scream cut the air, leg up to kick, giving me a damn eyeful, and turned away, running full speed to the source of the voice, completely forgetting of my chained arm.

Let me just say it _hurt_.

... Meanwhile ...

"How did you conjure her?" I cornered my ex-sister.

"Who?" She asked timidly.

"Oh, I don't know? The Queen of England!" She narrowed her eyes. "Rider of course!" I pressed further.

She matched my stare, which not even Shirou who fought Archer and lived could do, and I swear her eyes turned red for a second, then growled angrily. "Grandfather was... making experiments...she just appeared... then he cast me away." Her head fell. "He said he had enough."

"And you've been living here since?" Some pieces of the puzzle were just making sense, while others...

"He threw me away from home two weeks ago... he said I wouldn't last the year anyway..." She mumbled quietly. "He already has what he wants..."

Last the year? The worms are awful for all I know, but why would she die? "What does he wants?" Sakura opened her mouth to answer but fell to the ground like a pupped which strings were cut. And screamed.

"The pain, make it stop! Make it stoooop!" I tried to find out what was wrong, but it was too intense and fast. She clutched her head, and passed out in the floor.

...

We brought her to her room, and Rider saw us off, and I swear I could feel her glaring at Rin, and she was in her Servant outfit, blindfold and all!

I shot a look at Rin, and don't even bother to talk. "What?" She had the grace to look like the kid caught red-handed. "I didn't do a thing! Seriously!"

"Oh, she collapsed on her own?" I raise an eyebrow as if considering. She didn't buy it, of course.

"What? One minute I was talking to her, and then she screamed and fell to the floor out of nowhere!" She seemed exasperated. "Wasn't she supposed to be sick?"

I gave her a flat look. She countered with a glare. "What? Go and stay with her, isn't that what you want? Pervert."

"Rin." I drop and octave and set my foot down. She may complain about me, but making others suffer for it…

"Per-ver-t. Woman Eater." She singsonged.

I open my mouth, then close it and pull her to the first door at the left, better take it to a more private location... a storage room. Not ideal… but whatever. I sit in one of the boxes, choosing my words carefully, for I was dealing with a dangerous person, in a dangerous situation with the person I question having the upper hand… Quite a familiar situation, like the Grail War or Sekirei Plan days… and if there is one thing I know well how to do is turning the tables...

"Look I admit I screwed up last night, but tell me honestly that you weren't thinking about Sakura and Rider for one second?"

"It doesn't give you the right-"

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry." She opened her mouth to gloat, but I was faster, "But you could be less callous about it, since you also got excited by it, just was more discrete about it." I pointed, "Also you shouldn't have pressed a _sick _younger girl for revenge or whatever reason." She flinched, so I was sure I hit the nail of the question. "So… no hard feelings?"

"I shouldn't have taught you how to deal with women, I knew it!" She sighed. "You're an incredible blockhead, you know?"

"I was bound to learn from living with you anyway..." I shrug and we laugh at it.

"Now that you two have made up, how about a make out at least?" A third voice interjected. We both jumped, and turned to the source, Rin with her finger ready for Gandr, I with Kanshou at ready." Then we relaxed and said in unison "MATSU!"

"What? No make out?" She pouted. "Why bother getting private then?" Rin slapped upside the head. We laughed.

"Mou, hit me in the ass at least!"

I swear she is impossible sometimes…

It took a bit of time to get rid of Matsu, tracing Miya's toys, no less, but I focused on Rin explaining what she discovered from Sakura, instead of Matsu's complaints about being tied.

No, my mind corrected me most unhelpfully, not at being tied, but at not receiving the customary follow-up to the tying 'process'.

I shook it of promptly. As if Miya's pregnancy wasn't enough on my mind at the moment, Sakura was sick with something magical and possibly _lethal_. And there is the possibility of a new Holy Grail War incoming. If the last one was anything to go by, we have to stop it before it even begins.

I need to think, and I couldn't do it between Musubi's and Tsukiumi's shouts. I sigh for the unkempt time today.

I left a note in the kitchen and leave to walk around the town for a while, trying to clear my mind, and get a picture of the situation, and if possible see if there are any Servants around. Nothing to do with the fact that I was very angry, frustrated and wanted to punch something, but my heroic tendencies tended to try and make that anger into something constructive.

Does the killing possible murderous servants or masters count as constructive deed?

"Emiya?" I nearly jumped out of my skin, and retrained myself at the last moment before putting good four inches of steel into the approaching individual out of reflex. Sure as hell, I turn to find Shinji in a business suit right behind me. "Why so scared? Did you have any pissed British Magi after your head?" I suppress a flinch.

"Shinji? What are you doing here?"

"I work just across the street." He pointed a sandwich in his hand. "That and I am on lunch break. Now what does the 'Servant Killer' is so scared of?"

"Servant Killer?" I ask before thinking.

"My gramps call you this." He shrugged. "Now, have you and Rin hit off? Or have you found a better girlfriend?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I just snorted. He shot an appreciative look to my left.

I suppress the urge to facepalm. Akitsu. So much happened that I nearly forgot her.

"Have to go." He looked annoyed to his clock, and turned to leave, calling over his shoulder: "Sakura was asking for you. She is probably at your ex-home right now." He offered, not once extracting his eyes from Akitsu's cleavage.

"Shinji, wait!" He turned to me with an elevated eyebrow and an inquiring smirk.

"Ask it." Was his only response.

"What is wrong with Sakura?"

"So you saw _her_?" He showed some surprise.

"I have spent the night home, but by her you mean Sakura or Rider?" Can't he give me a useful answer for a change?

"Nevermind. You will see. Is not something I have the time to explain, not that I fully understand. Besides, is that something you should be discussing in front of that pretty girl of yours?" He left without saying another word.

He knows what is going on, and he hasn't told me. "Lucky him." I grumbled. If we were not in a crowded place I would've dragged him into an alley and interrogated him at Kanshou's edge. Hey back there, that idea looks promising… and I wouldn't feel bad about doing that to Shinji…

... Back at Shirou's place …

"Where is Sempai?"

"He left for a walk. Are you feeling better?" Miya asked from the couch shooting me a wistful look.

"Yes, it was just a moment of weakness." I said embarrassed.

"You don't have to keep it a secret. Everyone here knows about magic." Saber called from the table, without pause in the snack demolishing she was practicing. Sakura practically jumped.

... Back with Shirou …

I felt the smell of magic. It was something unfamiliar, yet triggered a sense of danger in my head. Looking around I couldn´t spot anyone noteworthy, or out of place as Magi almost always look.

Well, except for a nun and a foreigner with dark red hair talking. But they didn't look weird, unless you count the nun's silvery hair.

Yet the foreigner rubbed me the wrong way. Until I heard the conversation at least...

"It was not my fault! I just missed a step."

"And broke the ENTIRE shop?" The silver haired nun asked in surprise.

"I hit a shelf of merchandise, and it hit the others... like dominoes..." The redhead sighed. "Do you know of anyone that might have another job to me?"

"Well, maybe, but it would involve quite some risks..."

Looks like they're not dangerous at least. Scratch that, not _violent_, at least. Someone _that_ clumsy does count as dangerous.

... Back at Shirou's place, _again _…

"So there WILL be another Grail War, your grandfather is going to participate, and he used _part of you_ to make the vessel?" One of the girls asked horrified. Sister seemed deep in thought.

I only lowered her head. "Along with the body of the Einzbern master and the remnants of the destroyed Grail, yes." I'm not proud of it. And no one gave me a saying in the matter.

"Do you have any idea of any servants that might have been summoned already?" Another, more battle hardened, or just colder asked.

"Grandfather is probably summoning assassin for what he said… And berserker is taken."

"Berserker is out there?" A third asked.

I just nodded.

"Oh shit." Three or four said in unison.

... Back with Shinji …

Those idiots. I'm stealing money right behind their noses and they can't even see it! Then I'm going to leave this god-forsaken city to Shin-Tokyo or even the USA, buy my own place and hire maids with custom made uniforms and bigger boobs that Shirou's blonde bimbo! "HAHAHA!" Ahem... Anyway I should get to the bus before starts raining.

With my short and long term goals in mind, I leave the building, and proceed to walk to the bus stop. Until I get a hand slapped in my mouth, dragged into a dark alley and pressed at the wall.

My mouth is released. And I stare at the person in front of me. "Emi-" I start, only to be cut with a sword pressed at my throat halting even my thoughts for a while.

"SHHH... If you want to talk, talk about what you know of Sakura's condition." He smile way too happy to my comfort.

...

Is a crude method, is rude and violent, but by the looks of it, is EFFICIENT. Shinji looks one step from wetting himself. The fact that I am copying Karasuba-chan's behavior and smile might have something to do with it. But I'm not otherwise competent with intimidation techniques, and hey, it's working!

"Look, Emiya... Eh... I don't know much, and gramps will kill me if I reveal anything and..." He panics a little.

"So you can't talk?"

"Yeah, you know?"

"You're useless then. Say, Shinji. How do you want to die?" I force myself to smile happily.

"Uh?"

"Well, even if you are my friend, I can't leave you alive, but I can let you choose how you want to go... For old times' sake." I shrug and release him. And bring my hand to check the edge of the blade like a stereotypical assassin psycho from movies. Since the only exit is behind me, he can't run anyway.

"Emiya... Let's not act harshly. I'm sure I can be of use to you..."

"Really? How? You can't even give me information?"

"Well..." He starts, and I walk threateningly to him, Kanshou in hand, one step at time… "!" He blurts all at once.

Wow. Who could say he had that much breath in him. "Okay... Repeat that, slowly, and you get to leave here in one piece."

… A few minutes later …

I sigh for the probably hundredth time today. I'm soaking wet from the unexpected rain, I feel like crap and probably smell like it too, blame on the need to 'convince' Shinji to explain the little he did knew about the incoming war. Dragging myself through the corridors of my former house, trying not to think of what Sakura suffered for my ignorance. If I only had the foresight to kill Zouken before going to England… I'm sure Saber could vaporize the place with Excalibur if we supply her with enough prana.

I set for a nice hot bath, and go straight to the bathroom.

I was gifted to the sight of my purplette wife naked back on the stool washing her hair, and took the opportunity to jibe her in good spirits while disrobing myself: "So much for a proper lady, but you left the door unlocked. Or was that an invitation?"

Then, and only then, my nose decided to correct me. It smelled like blood and regret, but not like Sekirei, it smelled powerful and inhuman, but not the way I was used to. And when she turned, I froze, not for the vision in front of me... Well, not _so much_... but from the power of her eyes. I looked at them for less than an instant before she closed them but my body all but rooted to the spot. She did something to me, and I pray thanks to fate that I still have Avalon in me for I feel that sheath working overtime to negate the effects.

"If you're looking for Sakura, she will be there soon. And for the little I saw, she will be very pleased..." She spoke on that sultry tone of hers. I tried to answer, correct her, anything... but she was faster. "As soon as you can move, can you give me my glasses on the sink? I can wash my hair without them, but it is most uncomfortable to keep them shut." She took the shampoo bottle on the floor and proceeded to douse her long hair with it, unconcerned about her nudity.

I would have turned around, dressed and run like a proper gentleman. But I couldn't move, nor even close or avert my eyes. I felt my fingers twitch. Well not for the next minutes it seemed. Let's think, turn, grab Akitsu, door, corridor, room, safety. Yeah, perfect plan.

"Sempai?" I heard her shocked voice at the door. I take it back Root! I don't thank you, I curse you to the end of times!

"I can eshlain! Is not what its looks like!" She giggled. _GIGGLED!_ Shy, almost meek Sakura giggled at seeing me naked. I nearly panicked on the spot.

'Damn Avalon! Work faster, will you!' As if in response, my left leg twitched. Then I felt _that_ scent. Lilies, Magic, and this time, desire instead of sex. A nude body wrapped its arms in my torso, but instead of the expected plum locks of hair, I saw some silver colored hair mixed with some very light purplish, thrown over my shoulder.

I regain movement of my legs, and duck sending my captor tumbling into Rider's arms, and turn aiming for the door, only to freeze once more. She giggled again. "Nice save Rider~." She singsonged.

Damn! I forgot her eyes! Root, if you can hear me, I promise to take back my curses, if just cut me some slack now…

"You can't escape." I could hear the pout I couldn't see… "I want to play." Her voice was sweet and seductive. "I want to make _you_ feel like you made me feel on all these years…" She embraced me once more "…the heat, the hope, the pleasure,…" Her embrace tightened, and I held my breath "…amidst the pain and the agony…" she tightened it to the point it forced all the breath out of me and my ribs started to strain.

The very air grew cold, and the water on the floor froze immediately. "You're hurting Shirou. Release him, now." Akitsu said simply. So sexually assaulting me is ok as long as I'm unhurt! I feel betrayed, really.

I could hear Sakura shift her position, then Rider moved and started calling for her.

Then I was saved.

"Shirou? I can feel Avalon taking some-" Saber opened the door. Her face darkened. "Shirou! While we were ve-ery tolerant of your _accident_ with the Aozaki sisters, I do think-" She looked past me to Sakura and Rider. "Can you please cover your eyes?" The once and future King demanded, "We agreed that while extra-marital activities _might_ happen, they cannot be pursued on _purpose_." She narrowed her eyes at me. I sigh. She pulled me out of the bathroom to our room, simply dropped me and left. So I was paralyzed, undressed, cold and without any sympathy on the floor.

Worst of it, I don't get why Rider is doing what she is doing. And I don't get the thing with Sakura. And I made Saber mad again. And here I thought I was starting to understand women. ARRGH! Why does these things keep happening to me!

"Fufufu… Look what I found…Isn't revenge a sweet thing!" Matsu's laugh would have made me flinch, if I could. No girl should be allowed to laugh _that_ dirty.

…

"And he was probably trying to escape? Why was he naked then?" Both Saber and Rin entered the room, simply looked at Matsu, who pouted, but didn't unbind me. Rin crouched in front of me, and poked my face with a bored expression, "This is so~o like you…" and huffed. "Explain yourself." I grunted, courtesy of the unmentionable things Matsu was still doing to me. Rin didn't even blink, completely on business mode.

And explained I did.

…

I would have banged my head on a table, but Shirou's room was devoid of any for me to use… "So you mistook Rider for Miya! How?" my dear husband shot me a dark look and grunted something like 'how not?' "Okay, light purple hair, nice set of curves, check. But different hairstyles and length, height, and oh… _EYES_!"

"She had her hair over her shoulder and her back turned." He glared.

"Height?"

"She was sitting on the stool." He countered instantly.

"Eyes?"

"Oh, I _saw them_. What do you think that happened?" he tried to huff back at me, but it came more like a grunt. "I mean, I saw _Medusa's Eyes_ for root's sake! I shouldn't be breathing and you're complaining that I was unable to _run_ away?"

"Cut the sarcasm will you?" I suppress the blush. "That's enough, I believe you." He scoffed, "Even so, what would we do about Sakura?"

"What is your suggestion?"

"Get the grail and heal her?" I propose.

"Is not that easy you know?" He frowned.

"Sex her up until she is cooperative? I'm sure she will like that route?" Matsu said her two cents. Figures it would be about sex. Still it makes some sense considering she is being consumed by her lust… no. Just **no**.

"As a last resort. If at all." Saber decreed.

Since the expected 'I like that idea' failed to be heard, we all looked around. "Where is Akitsu?" Saber asked.

"You forgot her with Sakura." SHIT!

"Oh dear…"Rin mused out loud, and Saber set up to retrieve my first Sekirei.


	4. Long Lost Lovers?

"Keep in mind that the command used in the seal must be very specific, for that woman can twist almost everything to her needs." Rin lectured once more.

"Look, I understood we need help, but seriously, Medea!" My face couldn't keep but twist in annoyance. "Can't we try for Lancer or Assassin?"

"Lancer, the guy who pierced you in the heart?" Sakura looked horrified.

"He was not that bad…" I try to intervene.

"He won't last a day. He will probably challenge someone to a fight and forget about his duties." Saber dismissed the idea.

"Assassin?"

"Caster can always summon him if she needs any help." Rin dumped my idea instantly. "And it was you that said you didn't want other male influence in the kids' lives.

"But Medea? She is a treacherous, vile, sadistic and-"

"Didn't you say that about Rider-chan when she came with me at first?" I expected that from Rin, but getting a jab like that from Sakura of all the people. Rider fidgeted. Well if they're still angry about that…

"Look, I forgot she was under Shinji's influence, ok? As I get to know her, I saw she was an ok person… besides, you both attacked me at night!" 'And you still do.' "Repeatedly." They didn't even have the grace to blush.

"_Ok_ person, huh? That and the fact that sister took her to bed when you two…right in front of us." Rin blushed and turned her face. Sakura turned a fluorescent scarlet. "Does that make me an '_ok person _too'?" Rin teased. Saber chuckled from the sidelines, but stood at ready.

"Look, I don't know her enough to say more. And I still feel that shivers when she look at me." I beat my blush under control and aver my eyes from her teasing smile.

"Considering is _Medusa_ looking at you… shouldn't _shivers_ be the least of your concerns?" When she puts it _that_ light. This might take some thinking… "Ok, circle ready! Make the dagger, Shirou-kun!" She cut that train of thought.

Saber stood at ready, while I chanted the ancient verses Rule breaker in hand. All the while, Rin, Sakura and Rider got magical chains and restraining spells at ready, should the witch of the old times decide to fight her way out.

…

"…Guardian of Balance!"

The room exploded in light and smoke, much to my annoyance. Just like when I summoned Archer. I'm going to review my notes and isolate the damned variable that causes these annoying explosions.

The smoke dissipates, and a lightly charred Medea stood at the center of the circle, rubbing her eyes clear. She looks, first in Sakura's direction, and tilts her head minutely, as if to ask something, then pass her eyes to mine… offering a minute nod?

Then she looks at Shirou, all ceased to make sense.

"SHIROU-SAMA! You're alive!" She tackles, yes, _Illya-style flying_-_hugs_ him, then plants a kiss, well something between a kiss and mouth rape on him.

"MMMFPHS!" Shirou exclaimed.

She then opens her eyes lovingly, and notices Saber trying to pry her off Shirou without harming him. _That_ makes she release his mouth, only to drag Saber's lips to hers proceeding to try and swallow the lithe blonde tongue first. Without leaving his lap.

While Sakura and Rider were too stunned to know what to do…I explode.

STUPID SUMMONING CIRCLE! STUPID, STUPID SHIROU! WHY THINGS DON'T MAKE SENSE ANYMORE!

…

It was a strange situation, even for people like us, who were used to the strangest things as if it was routine. Darling was walking with Saber-chan, Rin, Sakura, and a subdued woman, Medea if the summoning worked correctly, in tow. He has warned us about the summoning, and said he was summoning a witch of the ancient times as our kids sitter, and that she was a cold heartless b*tch, but efficient in her work. The embarrassed woman following him like a lost puppy doesn't look like the person he described, and the earlier explosion makes me think the summoning didn't go well. So I dragged my stalking partner to her computer screen to watch the fireworks going off.

They let the subject cool, while observing the Caster, with dear brewing tea. She was strangely subdued, but they probably thought it was a trick to make their guard low.

"Start from the start, tell us what you think it could explain your previous behavior, and no funny stuff." Shirou said uncharacteristically serious and hard.

She raised her hands and focused her mana, but stopped with tears in her eyes at the sight of a dozen mystical blades hovering less than a meter from her.

"Is just a simple memory sharing spell." She clarified.

"No. Tell us with words, no spells, no tricks just tell us." His voice was harsh, and she winced reflexively at the tone. He put a glass sphere in the table, one of the minor artifacts that came into the clan possession in the years: A legitimate Crystal ball. It couldn't be used to see the future, but it could be used to see images from someone's mind, especially if the said person is willingly to part them. It helps that it also detects lies.

"Where do I start…"

...

_I was called from the throne of heroes by a foolish mage I sincerely don't recall the name. He wasted a command spell at my summoning, simply to try and make me obedient to his will. One more was wasted trying to make me a toy to his basest desires, yet he didn't account my own stubbornness in giving what he desired. I waited until his guard fell, and severed my own ties with him, leaving the fool to die._

_Weakened and alone, I wandered in the rain, until you found me nearly disappearing at the streets of your neighborhood. Later you would tell me that you simply though it was a woman suffering from a cold due to staying under the rain for so long, yet when I told you of a magic ritual required to keep me alive, you didn't hesitated to do it._

_I didn't tell you all that were to the servant-master relationship, fearing you to take advantage of my forced subservience like my last fool of a master. I also kept for me the fact that the grail war was to take place once more, and choose to simply try and live a normal life, while saving my energies._

_I opened your circuits out of convenience, but the little glimpse of your soul was the starting spark of the flames of love that would follow._

_I also made friends on Taiga and Sakura, well once the later got over their jealousy, and we lived peacefully for a short uneventful month, the happiest time of my life._

_Then that fateful night occurred._

_I was with Taiga place that night, our girl's night out as you dubbed yourself, when all started. I didn't count in that you face Lancer, or summon Saber. I got home as soon as I felt your distress over our link, right in time to see your accidental summoning of our beloved knight. Suffice to say, Lancer wouldn't bother anyone else for a long time after that night._

_Rin got an aneurism that would be able to maintain two servants, even with diminished powers, and that you didn't even knew what you were part of, while I got impressed at your forgiveness, or foolishness as she put it, but our partnership started off, even if with the wrong foot._

_After some trials, we found your uncommon origin, and abilities, but even that wouldn't ready us for the challenge that was Berserker, which required a strategical retreat, and a well, 'mana recharge session' until we could fight at peak condition. It was our victory, even if took us three nights of rest to do anything else afterwards._

_Then the alliance of Zouken and Assassin, Shinji and Rider, along with Sakura's condition, took a lot of my magical knowledge to solve, and quite some effort to deal with, while the old vampire proved way less resilient than expected. But that left me more drained than expected to break such a connection between the old fool and his worms and make him stay dead._

_We were not capable of fending of Gilgamesh in the following night. Thanks to the root of souls, you managed to project Avalon from the depths of your own soul to fend Ea's might, and make him leave._

_But you didn't let it be, so we had to face the fake priest and the King of Heroes once more, to rescue your sister and vanquish the Grail once for all. It was your sacrifice that granted us victory, while I and Saber had to fend of the corrupted First Hero. At the end, only I and Rin had survived that night, and I had nearly disappeared. We moved to your house, along with Sakura, still not completely recovered from her grandfather's machinations, and two months passed until you summoned me here._

...

We were all surprised once she finished her tale. One little change and the Grail war had turned completely different of what I heard. Darling didn't need to speak, a simple look sufficed to convey their decision.

"In our war, you were not a nice person Caster. And I'm putting it blandly." He stated a bit more subdued, and she flinched once more.

"I… understand." She lowered her head, "You summoned me for my due punishment then?" and asked in a subdued tone.

"No. We wanted you to take care of our children. Still want, with the appropriate safety measures of course." Rin offered raising her own command seals, for Saber, to show her intent.

Caster's face shot up with hopeful eyes at them, and I suppressed the urge to squeal at the love I saw in them. "Anything you want, Shirou-sama." She bowed her head. Then she raised her voice once more: "So I'm allowed to stay then?" Her eyes shined in adoration and happiness at the news. "Thank you Shirou-sama!" She jumped his mouth once more, and Saber held herself not to skewer the bluette.

"Well Shirou, at least she didn't tie Saber up in one reality." Rin joked, flustering the royal swordswoman.

"…"

Saber turned scarlet at Medea's mumbled comment, while Rin's maniac laughter echoed through the kitchen.

"What was _that_?" Shirou asked in a voice an octave higher than the usual.

"Well, I did tie her up, Shirou-sama." Caster blushed deeply. "But it was completely consensual." She averted eyes demurely.

Rin laughed even more.


	5. Keiko in a Bad Day

"Are you sure of that?" I ask the man that is holding a trigger to my chest.

"You should be crying or calling your mom, not asking me that."

I roll my eyes, not that he could see. How do I got myself into this? It should be a normal class trip, but noo, root hates our family! Now I'm in a convenience store, with a wanna be thief, and an UNLOADED gun to my chest!

...

_"Listen Keiko, Analysis is the simplest ability of a magus, yet with proper development, one of the most useful. You could in conjunction with reinforcement, strengthen any weapon to its maximum or-"_

_"Mom! Just show the damn magic already!"_

_"No you should know its uses and flaws beforehand, stupid! Now sit and Learn!"_

_And I learned._

_And Analysed everything I've could get my hands on._

_..._

_"Keiko! Don't touch that! Who let you in my workshop!" Asked father._

_"What is that Tou-san? And why is dangerous, it have no edge! Is round!"_

_"That Keiko-chan, is a gun, and it shoots a bullet soo fast that it pierces people even if it don't cut." He explained._

_"Why you have it?"_

_"I was trying to research father's stuff, and he used one."_

_"Can't I see?"_

_"Yes, let me just unload it."_

_"Unlowhat?_

_"Take the bullets, erm this," He gave me a piece of brass, "out."_

_He let me touch it. And I Analyzed it._

_And when he gave me the gun, and I analyzed it too, it made sense, like nothing else ever had. I saw it being made, I saw it shooting, I saw it being cleaned, and I saw it being sold to father._

_"-o, Keiko! Are you alright? You spaced out, dear."_

_"It's nothing Tou-san. Here, your gun."_

...

_"And that is how you make a projection." Father showed me. "Now try to make something, anything that is familiar to you."_

_"Ok." I focused, and imagined gun being armed to shoot, and pulled the trigger deep within my mind. And the said gun, the Contender came to my hands by a flare of my magic._

_"A gun?" Kaa-san said indignantly._

_"Is it bad?" Kaa-san angry is always bad..._

_"No dear, just... unusual." Father said embarrassed._

...

I imagined the cock of the gun being pulled back, and released back, deep within myself. "Action open. Charge, load, and fire." I mumble.

"Haha! That is more like it! Now you got the situation you're in cutie!" He rubbed the gun in my chest. "I'm going to take you with me, have fun with you and-"

I shot his arm with his own gun, that I simply loaded with a traced bullet, forcing him to release me. And on top of it, he made THE mistake. He released his gun.

And I took it.

"Arrghh! How! Damn it! How?"

I shoot his hand covering the wound. "Now try and take advantage of a girl, Idiot!" And then, his junk.

"AAARRRGGHHH!"

I turn and walk away, to the stunned policeman at the door, who has arrived to negotiate my releasing. "Here, his gun."

And go back to the bus.

It's going to be a looong day...


	6. Sexy Kill is Overkill

"Frankly Ao, I'm your SISTER! Save your perverted tricks for the girls at your school!"

"But sis, it was an accident!"

"You blasted my undershorts without damaging my skirt as an ACCIDENT? If you insist on lying do it right at least!"

"Is going commando soo bad sis? Fuuko-nee does it all the time-"

"Dojo, now!"

"Keiko-chan, I don't want to hurt you..."

"But I want to hurt you."

...

The walk home was uneventful, and I walked slowly hoping to give sis some cooldown time.

I go directly to the dojo, lest she go angry at me again, ans find her standing in the middle of the training area no guns in hand, but a chesire grin that made my blood run cold.

"Sis if you kill-"

"Death is too good for you. You're going to suffer, and I know exactlyhow. Now, en garde!"

She steps forward, but stops "Da~amn I forgot my panties!" She blushes with a slightly angry expression. Combined with her tsundere-like hairstyle, S-grade zettai ryouiki and expression she makes me highly flustered.

I put myself in position. She reach in her cleavage, 'no, not the zeliska…' and pulls her shotgun grip.

"Ah! Its co~old," her breast jiggle at the motion, "Why did I choose one so long." the iron barrel rubbing her skin makes her moan a bit, and her face fluster cutely.

"I imagine it within me, the c*ck ready and waiting. Pull the it back, trigger it and let it release deep inside, flooding myself..." I stop dead. Its common knowledge that she got angry when she finally found her visualization, for it was something embarrassing, but that... that sounded like something from Karin's... And she said it out loud too! I found myself getting aroused, and at my sister! Am I that perverted? "Action open. Charge. Load and fire!"

Damn, I lowered my guard. And got hit. And blacked out.

...

I wake up in the infirmary, a pack of ice in my balls, and Chiho-kaa scolding Keiko...

"...He could have been permanently injured-"

"Which would be a service for girls around the world, besides I used a bean-bag shell at 7 meters when he was wearing the protective suit."

"Even so-"

"And he embarrass me publically, And I won't accept that. Case closed." And she walked away.

"How bad is it Kaa-san?"

"You will be unable to walk for a week, but no permanent injuries. I hope you learned your lesson."


	7. Reactions and Actions

I was cranky and angry, a rare state of mind for me, I admit. It was not because being called by the principal of school, no, neither it was the fact that the kids made a mess again with some age changing pills Chisame-chan brought home, noo, it wasn't the early night my dear Aoko called after 'confiscating' the said pills to the master bedroom either. It was the fact that I had got to sleep at 5' in the morning, and they called me at 8'. Yes, some days it sucks to be me.

"Sorry, once again, mister Emiya. We know that you're a busy person, and we try to let your butler, Girugamusu, take care of minor things, but this is no minor squabble. Half of the gym was destroyed, and your girl have exposed her other classmates to an act of indecenc-" The principal started to state.

"She touched herself in 'private' places didn't she?" I asked rhetorically. I couldn't bring myself to care about decency anymore. I would've descended into madness, after my dear Kazehana resolved to entertain herself in a beneficent dinner by 'sitting' on my lap, or that day that Matsu ditched her already indecent swimsuit at a public beach in our honeymoon. I'm still forcing myself to forget that episode with 'Dark' Sakura and that Touko from Mahora, no matter how hot the blonde teacher was. Not to mention my harem is public knowledge and everyone looks at me when I walk in the streets. No decency and morals are an illusion, my cynical side pointed. Besides, it's not like kids these days are innocent, internet and all…

"How did you know?" She asked in shock. "Is this a recurrent behavi-"

"Her mom has the same habit, and no, she has never done it before to my knowledge." I deadpan. "Please continue." I try to smile.

"Well, she did that after skipping class to watch the underclassman P.E., then she forcefully kissed one of the _girls_, and the thing degenerated in a indiscretion bordering public sex, then into a fight with her younger brother Aoshi. Both of them, plus Yukiko, the girl who was kissed were detained." She twitched.

"Were the girl's parents called too?"

"She is living on her own, her parents are from another city. How this is relevant to the question?" She asked in shock with my calm.

"I wanted to apologize to them." I offered (or lied) with a straight face. It seemed to pacify her.

"Can I talk to them?" The principal flinched. After the last time, when Keiko blew the detention room, I understand. "Or should I take them home to cool off?" She brightened up at that.

"Take them home. I don't know what you do, nor do I want too, even if it involves breaking the human rights, if it works in pacifying these demons, I take what I can get!" She said. Funny thing is that is Miya, Saber and eventually Homura who scares the kids into good behavior.

I enter the room, Aoshi glaring at Fuuko, who was staring into the blushing girl hiding at his back, hungrily.

"Stop this, and let's go home. You two have a lot to explain." I project the Shadows or the Ashura for a second, when they seem to try and talk back. They follow me without a word.

'Can this day get even more screwed?' Damn root, I did it again. I pinch the bridge of my nose.

...

"Run that by me again?" Miya asked annoyed.

"One-chan reacted to my girlfriend, and tried to rape her in the middle of P.E. class! I had to do something!"

"And exploding the Gym was your first logical answer." Saber, ever practical, stated coolly.

"She used her weapons on me first!" Aoshi defended himself.

"I didn't, I brought the whip was to _play_ with Yuki-chan." Fuuko answered immediately.

"It doesn't justify what she has done, even if it explaine-" Homura started. Kazehana was faster. "And now you're reacting like kids! Just share the girl already! Don't Chiyo-chan and Uzume or Saber and Rin look happy enough?" she jumped in defense of her daughter.

"You're not saying to me to bed my sister I hope?" Aoshi stated in disbelief. Fuuko just batted her eyelashes at him mockingly. Miya's face darkened, and I swear by the root, a frying pan APPEARED in her hands as if traced on the spot… No that's impossible.

"I'm saying to allow her to see her Ashikabi!" Kazehana demanded.

"Just Rulebreak her already!" Aoshi tried. Fuuko shot him a glare.

"Are you really saying to _stab _your sister with _the cursed dagger of divorce_, are you!" Tsukiumi demanded.

"Do you really think that a relationship involving my sister would work?"

"I share your father with Sakura, and your mother with her Sis, even if Touko rarely stays here because of work, your point being?" Rin raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're both girls!"

"Even in the case that you're both boys, witch your sis isn't, a girl can play with more than one at once." Kazehana offered. Even Fuuko blushed at that proposition.

"Spare us, miss public indecency!" Miya cut her out.

"Funny, you only complain out of bedroom..."

"Enough." I cut the discussion. "You _two_ will explain to her what the consequences of these events are. And both of you will be grounded until you sort this thing out." I sigh. "How come you never told me you had a girlfriend, Aoshi?" I pinched my nose once more. Damn hangover, couldn't Avalon effects be instant?

"Erm, you know what mothers' say, ahn… Never let a girl meet you if we could-"

"That excuse isn't valid. Try again, harder this time." I couldn't suppress the Archer-ry sarcastic smile.

"I didn't want her to meet you until I felt she was ready…" It was barely above a whisper.

"So you never told her your last name?" Homura asked.

"I told her, she made the connection too. But I didn't knowing and seeing are…"

"I got it. If you want me to try and break the bonds, I will, but only if it's consensual. Now go." He left, I turn to my wives.

"What do you think?"

"Screwed like an Emiya. Truly amusing to watch." Karasuba crinkled a smile scratching her chin. She really needs to watch less detective series…

"I meant about Rulebreaker. Do you think it would work?"

"Maybe. Marriage is a contract, and Sekirei bonds are magical in a way…" Medea shrugged "But it could have some unforeseen effects… best leave it as a last option."

"It's up to them, but I do hope they sort things out." Then I look at Kazehana. "And dear, what kind of suggestion was that?"

"Well, darling, I like when you and Rin double team me with her strap toys, and Aoko-chan can do true magic with her fingers..." I roll my eyes. "Figures. I'll go back to sleep."

"Can't we play first?" Rin teased, I shake my head.

...

I go see my Yukiko, with Fuuko at my side.

"You don't want to go along with this, do you?" I ask uncertainly.

"Look, as much as I DO like girls, I like boys too, so being into a relationship that have YOU as the only boy, makes it half the fun." My sister pouts. "Unless you want to take the incest taboos, and throw them out of the window. Well we're half-brother so it's just half the sin." She teases me rubbing herself on my arm.

"You take too much from your mother..." I shiver, "And don't say that things." We take the stairs to my room.

"You know is all fun and tease. 'Sides couldn't you be more like yours? Ao-kaa doesn't mind Kaa-san much."

"Why did you have to react to my girlfriend? Were none of your previous dates enough?"

"We don't choose who, you know? And she is hot. Rosy pink lips, silky soft skin, breasts slightly smaller than mine, but soft and firm at the same time, slim body, but with hips of-" Her hand goes shamelessly South...

"**STOP** OKAY. I don't need more fetish fuel than you gave me already!"

"So~o, this hot body of mine against your precious girlfriend makes you hot under the collar otouto? I can show you how to make your girl call my name if you want."

"Make who call who?" Yukiko asked.

"You call me dear. I'm not against bedding girls." My sister winked.

"Stay away from me, pervert." She shielded herself with a pillow. My sister recoiled as if punched. Say what you will about Sekirei, but their Ashikabi rejection is worst that torture for them. I feel sorry for her.

"Look Yuki-chan, nee-chan is not always like that, she just loves to tease people, and-"

"She attacked me in public! And you're taking her side! Don't call me Yuki-chan!" Ouch, she _is_ mad.

"That, well… She have a… special circumstance, she doesn't have self-control along some special people..."

"She tried to _rape_ me!"

"I don't think she would go _that_ far…" Damn, I don't want to choose between my girl and my sister. Well, I could always try a gamble it seems…

"Well she is more unashamed then me alright. But offending my sister is offending me!" I cross my arms defiantly. "And is not like you're the shyest of the people, and you've not against me dating other people, and even said you're okay with threesomes..."

"You have like a dozen mothers! And you were on a time-off from another girlfriend when we started dating," She practically screamed at my face, while the "what you expected me to say?" Came as whisper, then she shouted again, red as a ripe tomato "And I was _not_ serious about the threesome stuff… Are you seriously suggesting you would like to erm… _boink_ your sister?" Her face twisted in horror.

Leave to girls to understand things the worst way possible. ARRGH. "HEY! I didn't say that! I've said-"

"What brother is trying to say dear is that we both want you, and he is already willing to share, and let you have others too." Fuuko tried to explain.

"As long as the _'others'_ are girls." I amend.

"Pervert." Fuuko take a shot to me.

"I don't _swing_ that way!" Yukiko screamed in frustration.

"Have you ever tried?" Fuuko asks. Yuki glared at her. Nee-chan raised her hands in an 'I surrender' gesture. "Look, I never thought I did at first. But when I ignored two different love letters from Sumire of otouto's class she took me alone one day, and gave me one of the best snoggings to date. I barely managed not to get winged that day."

I didn't knew _that_. "So, you're really bi?" I asked Sis.

"Yes. Took me a while to admit though. I thought it would ruin my rep, but in the end it made me even more enticing..." I grabbed her hands before she did something not meant for minors to see…

"Have you ever..." Curiosity got the best of her, but she looked away when we looked at her. Of course sister didn-

"Just 'til the second base in threesomes. Or does a brief kiss down there when I still wearing panties counts as third base, right?"

"How on earth did you managed to hold on your _**first**_ kiss 'till _**today**_!" I ask in disbelief. "Nevermind. Well I'm leaving you two to do the girl's talk in private." Sister never knew the meaning of 'too much information', and I'm so not hearing about her love escapades.

Both of them hold my arm. "You stay. This affects you too." Fuuko, said seriously. Yuki also threw me her complaint "And you are not going to leave me to sort this mess off, are you? She is _your _family! So it's _your_ fault." I shrug and throw my own question too: "That Sumire, is the hootie with the same bra size than you? Who was rumored to date two girls and one boy at once?"

"Yes, and yes I was one of the _'two girls'_, you know?" She winked. "Also I'm still trying to go out with her and Misaki from 1-B too, want me to invite them over to '_play_'" She deflates a bit "thought does that mean I will have to break up with Yuuji-kun too... pity. He was so nice. And just now that I can kiss too!" She practically whined.

"You're dating four people!" I state in disbelief.

"And you say she was not a Pervert?" Yukiko.

"If so you're a prude." Fuuko counter at her. "Also I was taking a time from Bessho, but he expected me to back down, with I was thinking too, and flirted Yuuji ONCE, but he called me back and we set a date for Friday night. Never technically officialized anything with Sumi-chan, but she never asked me too, but we've been seeing each other for seven months straight... Misaki is more of a crush than anything: she is so fun to be around! Pity my flirting seems to go over her head." She finishes describing her complex love life, to leave us dumbfolded.

Yukiko shakes her disbelief first: "Do I have any other option?" She asks.

"Being stabbed by a dagger." Fuuko stated.

"Onee-san!" I scowl at her.

"What!"

"Forget it. It's a family joke about a 'cursed dagger' that ruins marriages…" more like magical contracts, but Tsukiumi-kaa-san didn't seem to understand that part.

"I will give it a try."

We both look at her. "What!" Fuuko looked at her.

"You want to be _stabbed_!" I couldn't suppress my horror.

"NO!" Yukiko was understandably horrified. "Wait! Does that mean Aoshi-kun will date Sumire-san too?"

"I'm not against it, and Sumi-chan did say that Otouto was hot once." Nee-san answer was immediate.

Better not think about that. "I will tell father what we decided. Explain Sekirei to her, and try not to jump her while at it..." I shake my heads at them, Yuki blushed hard at my joke.

And thus started our complicated relationship…

...

"...So from today on, I will make my relationship with Yukiko official." We reunited all the family, plus a few of the 'addictions o the dining room. It was not _that_ cramped, just Haru's Harem and Kyon's Brigade, at least Negi's class is on an onsen trip (lucky boy), well is not a surprise Dad is planning a new expansion.

"And me too." Fuuko added.

"Wait, that means you will be sharing the girl?" Predictably Karin was the one to ask. "Does that count as incest?"

"No, that is when _you_ attacked Keiko." Kaien jumped on my defense, Keiko just shot him in the head with an airsoft gun.

"Ouch, Imouto!" He complained.

"**Can I join in? It seems fun, uhuhu...**" Sakuya asked.

"And I was surprised with Fuuko." Yukiko whispered.

"Doesn't Fuuko have a _few_ boyfriends already?" Riko asked.

"I had _one_, and _one_ girlfriend, and don't know which of them I might keep. You know how boys are kind of possessive…" She rolled her eyes. "If it was up to me…"

"**Fuuko**." Takeshi-nii-san cut her mid phrase, and pushed his glasses up. She didn't finish that line thankfully.

"Soo, Nii-san got a harem too?" Kumako asked.

"That is the power of love." Stated Musubi-kaa-san. "See Kumako-chan. You will find your Ashikabi someday, and we will be making a party for you, too!" She squeezed her daughter in a surely _suffocating_ embrace.

"There is something with our family genes, harems and yuri relationships..." Grumbled Kyon. Suzumiya just cheered loudly, and stole a kiss from one of the other girls. Kyon blushed a crimson red and pried one girl from the other. Yukiko was looking so lost at that point I pitied her. She kept looking from face to face and to dad every time one of mothers kissed him, and blushing like mad.

"You have yours too, dear son. That is the pot calling the kettle black, while you should be happy for you brother and sister." Uzume-kaa pinched his cheek teasingly.

"You lucked out otouto, Yukiko and Sumire are hot, and while I'm not into it, Fuuko-chan too." Kaien pated me in the back.

"It's not like _I'm_ into _it_." I answer him. "I just understand that is cruel to keep a Sekirei from her Ashikabi."

"Uh-um." He grunted in acknowledgement. "Sure."

"Though your concern is admirable, make sure to keep you ane-san controlled, her mother is wild enough." Miya-kaa kind of complained at that. I could hear Eiko-nee taking bets of how long it would take for Fuuko to _corrupt_ me.

I nod to Miya-kaa and turn to bro, doing my damned best to ignore the disturbing ideas Karin, Yin and Riko could come up with: "Have you found yours yet?" I ask him.

"Nope. That is that girl from class C that got me hot down under, but she is aiming for that boy called Makuna, Makana, Makama or something like that. Maybe I get lucky on my new school…"

"The red head?" He nods. "Well she is _hot_." Yukiko pinched me annoyed. "What, I'm just stating a fact! And she is my future sister in law too, I'm not trying anything."

"Considering you just got one other girl, _besides_ Nee-chan _without_ trying, she has enough reasons to be careful." Riko joked. "And you're already into incest so a potential sister in law isn't so much of a stretch…" Her smile stretched.

"You're not…" Yuki-chan whispered in my ear. "Damn no." I squeezed her hand for emphasis. She blushed at Karasuba-kaa sitting on dad's lap (and mouthraping him) to provoke Miya-kaa.

"...Something in the water, MBI medicine _and_ father's genes, it must be... or some sort of _gland_. No, a _curse_ at birth." Kyon mumbled distraught. Suzumiya dropped on his lap and pointed Karasuba-kaa and Dad to him. "I want to try that!" He ran, the coward.

Takeshi advanced on the girl, but Haru tackled him before he showed her the masks. Root knows what _that_ could cause.

"Wait and see Nii-san! I will have my hareem* in no time too!" Riko poked me from Kaien's other side.

"**Way to go, I help you so we could share too...**" Sakuya proposed.

"Is she on _those_ days?" Kyon inquired now on a different seat.

"Apparently so. Don't involve me." Arika just shrugged and took a bit more of distance from the said girl.

Kiri looked like he was going to interrupt the ongoing discussion, but uncle Gil took the main dish out of the kitchen with a flourish: "Behold, the magnificent wild boar à la Babylon!" And thus our dinner officially started, like every night, silencing the main discussion. I swear I heard Shinta snicker, but he was reading something so it was probably my imagination.

"Are your family always that eccentric?" Yukiko asked.

"Pray you never see what they can come up with." I shiver.

She clapped her hands silently "May the gods never let me see this family at its weirdest." She intoned barely above as whisper. Kyon mimicked her immediately and Arika followed suit, whispering a soft "Amen.". I didn't thought they would take it seriously. Well… whatever. I clapped my prayer too.

…

*hareem is a male harem.


	8. Harem Management, The Morning After

This chapter has been Beta-ed by _Trooper1023_. Many thanks my friend!

**Harem Management - The Morning After**

I wonder why I feel my chest so heavy. I remember the girls swimming classes in the gym, my girlfriend, a black haired _girl_ kissing her, the telltale flash of light of a winging, mess after. Father and the rest of family, dinner and then everything else is a -_blank-_.

I crack my eyes open, and my head pumps pain in protest. Fuuko and Yukiko are snuggled against each other on my chest. 'Oh, last night…'

"Hi sweetie, pleasant dreams?" Fuuko said sweetly as Yuki cracked her eyes open. She of course backed down in surprise and fell from the bed, "Ack!" and her loud complaint sparked a thousand needles of pain in my temples.

"Root, I'll never drink anything that so much as passes _near_ Riko again. I feel like a bike had overrun my head."

"Aoshi?" She calls me in surprise. Then she looks a bit to my side and we see Fuuko in all her underwear-clad glory. "Explain _that_, Ao?" She stood up and demanded instantly.

"Huh, that is my sister Fuuko. _Your_ Sekirei, remember?" I offer quickly as her feet tapped the floor in an increasing speed.

"I don't remember last night at all." Her face drew blank. Fuuko smiled pleasant and I noticed my girlfriend wasn't wearing more than her black stockings and a shirt. And I'm only in boxers too.

"Last night was A.W.E.S.O.M.E!" Fuuko singsonged.

"If your idea of awesome involves Kiri making a jumping ham sandwich and Kaien burning the kitchen table to ashes, nearly getting himself winged to _Eiko_ and being displaced to root knows _when_… whatever. Dad asked me to warn you that breakfast is served." Chisame said from the door. "And make sure that the door is closed when you do that. If it were Takeshi to come wake you, well… you know." She made undulating motions with her hands and a supposed scary face. I snorted and she left.

"Your family is weird, you know that." Yukiko was still looking at the door where Chisame left. "Didn't she mean _God_ knows _where_?"

"I thought we already got over the weird part yesterday. And she _did _meant _when_. Long story, we will explain during the summer break."

"Huh. I don't remember yesterday at all. Well except for the weird gym explosion. Did the gas pipes passed under the pool or something?" then she looked down as a little breeze entered the window.

She screamed and I cringed. Fuuko was already dressing by then.

"Ouch, my head."

"What have you perverts did to me!" I choose that moment to retreat to under the bed. Blue or not, there are thing a girl in 'punisher mode' can do to a boy that… I'm so not going there.

"I'm not sure myself?" I offered from bellow the bed. "My sister probably gave us some weird to drink yesterday. Then we kissed, cuddled, and slept together. That is what I remember."

She looked between us. "You slept with your sister?"

"Yes, I think I kissed her one or two times…"

"Five actually. You're quite good at it." She pointed. "But she is better."

"How can you two be so calm about it!" Yuki all but screamed. "And I _am_ better… WHAT? I kissed _you_!"

"Lower please, Yuki-chan. I have quite the hangover."

… Outside …

What in the assorted underworlds is happening there! Ulf stared at his brother's door. He just came to return Aoshi's copy of 'Advanced Theory in Structural Grasping on Structures' when he heard the screaming. He almost blasted the door down to rescue whoever was in need at time when he remembered that time he caught Haru and that Blue and Pink haired girlfriends of his on one of the TV rooms. Nothing going on Apollo's *ss.

"The door will not open if you don't push it, you know? That works only Karin's door." Kiri said from behind him.

"…not going there, NEVER! I just don't swing that way! Never, ev-" came from inside the room.

"Nevermind. I'm going to breakfast. I believe Shinta was asking about you taking a book on Electrical Energy and Mana Combination or something of the effect." My older brother just ignored the other suggestive moaning from inside the room.

"Isn't that Fuuko's voice?" I asked one octave higher than my usual.

"Perhaps."

"Oh. It was 'Properties of Magical Reinforced Electrical Currents in Electronic Appliances' by the way." I hacked my mind for something _else_ to think about. Aoshi's book could wait. He was quite busy at the moment anyway.

And I totally didn't fantasy about Fuuko for a Second, no I didn't.

…

As the three of them showed to the breakfast, Fuuko was sporting a slap mark on her left cheek, and Aoshi was rubbing his head and mumbling apologies. Yukiko was looking embarrassed, but quite satisfied.

"Haven't you three settled things yet? Last I saw you lot yesterday, you haven't even stopped sucking each other's tongues to give me good night." Riko teased.

"You." The trio said at once. "What have you put on our drinks!"

Riko just saluted, grabbed a sandwich and jumped in the nearest air vent before any of them could catch her.

I think Ulf just blew the thing out of proportion again. He tends to do that from time to time. It doesn't look like they- _wait_! Is that a bruise on Fuuko's cleavage? Maybe he was not _that_ wrong afterall… maybe they were _wrestling_.

"I told you Shinta." He said from my side.

"Well, she might need the training. But why can't they do that on the gym?"

Gekkou's head met the table. "Shinta, sometimes you're an idiot." Me moaned.

"What do you mean?" I ask and regretted immediately.

"They were _loving_ each other!" My sister said with sparkles in her eyes. There is something inherently _wrong_ when _Kumako_ knows more about a subject other than fighting than you.

My eyes met Reiko at my left, and she muttered one cryptical phrase that haunted me for weeks when I discovered the meaning: "… Biology III, chapter 5…"

…

"I can show some proof if wan- Wait! You _believe_ me!" I asked in surprise.

"Compared to what I saw since yesterday, _magic _is _the_ only logical explanation I can think of." Yukiko looked at me from the couch. "Wait! Are _aliens_ real too?" To my left Kaien fell from the coach in surprise, losing in the game he was playing. He also had the audacity to give me a glare, like it was _my_ fault! Save games are there for a reason, use them!

"Yeah…" I trail off.

"Ok. Maybe I shouldn't have doubted my ex-neighbor when she told me she saw small green dwarves." I laughed at that. "What?"

"Well, what makes you think that all aliens look green and weird?" I asked.

"They're not Green?" She mused. "Wait! Have you actually _seen_ one?" She asked in surprise.

"You saw more or less a dozen yesterday," Kaien dropped the bomb. Saying 'Alien here,' while pointing to yourself would have being more subtle, bro…

"What! Where!"

"Hi, my lovely Ashikabi." Fuuko said, embracing Yuki around her neck. My girlfriend blushed head to toes in response.

"Can you... release me? Knowing that I kissed you is already awkward, I don't want to get _physical_."

"So she _kissed_ Fuu-chan? How's that fair?" A new voice asked from my back.

The first thing I noticed was long black hair and a cute face, then my eyes drifted down to a nice pair of breasts, slim hips, and shapely thighs. Sumire, as Nee-chan called her. "Erm, hi?" I offered my hand dragging my gaze up.

She smiled knowingly, much to my surprise. "You're Ao-kun, right? Fuuko told me a lot of stories about her family!" Then she smothered me to her chest.

"It seems they're getting along nicely, right Yuki-chan?" Fuuko's voice brought me back from 'marshmallow land' back to earth.

"Yeah, ve~ery nicely." My girlfriend said darkly. I laughed nervously.

"Oh, come on. You share _me _with Sumire-chan there, what's wrong with sharing otouto too?" I extracted myself from the heavenly valley to hear my sister proposing _that_.

"I don't mind sharing _you_, but Aoshi is…" She turned even redder, unknowingly to me if in embarrassment or anger.

"I am?"

"Never mind. What is _she_ doing here?" Yuki pointed to Sumire.

"I decided to make things official, so I called her over. We're going to explain a few things to you so we just have to do it once." Fuuko explained.

"Ah, right! He was just telling me about the aliens. He said you keep like a _dozen_ here, but I haven't seen one yet."

"I think you got it wrong." Fuuko hand met her face. "We…"

Her face lighted up in understanding: "You're part of an organization that helps Aliens that want to live on earth peacefully to adjust to daily life?"

I looked to my sister at the same time she looked at me, and we both conceded to her point. "Err… Somewhat. My father discovered himself as the heir of the MBI as he was 22, and he joined a 'game' (of very bad taste, mind you), that involved a mating ritual with an Alien race that crashed on earth repeated times through history." I exposed.

"…" She blushed.

"What was that?"

"You said… mating. As in _sleeping_ with?" She turned even redder.

"That has _nothing_ to do with _sleeping_, fufufu." Karin dropped on the couch at Kaien's side and picked a second controller.

"Nevermind her! Anyway, dad had two girlfriends at the time, and ended up getting two more later, one of them a childhood friend, and then a few more, in incidents I never really heard about. They had kids, and here we are." I summed it up.

"You mean a few of your mothers are _Aliens_?" Sumire asked in disbelief.

Kaien opened his mouth again. "Yeah. Others are Magi, or mages if you will, Heroic Spirits, i.e. people that ascended into legends immortalized in time, and a goddess of sorts." I punched his arm, hard. "What?"

"Legends, like what?" Sumire asked first.

"I think I saw an Elf yesterday, she had the ears at least…" my girlfriend mused. Elf? Who?

"Medea-kaa, you mean. She is one of the legends, Medea of Colchis. We also have _Medusa_, and you girls will _love _this…" Karin's smile widened, along with the girls eyes. "King Arthur!" She exclaimed happily, and Sakuya choose that time to join us at the couch and picked a third controller. They weren't even _gaming_.

The duo blinked. Twice, three times. Yuki then dropped her hand into her open palm. "The _nanny,_ of course! Blonde, handsome, strong-looking."

I felt mildly jealous she doesn't describe _me_ that way. But mostly I felt amused they think _Uncle_ _Gil_ is King Arthur. "Wrong King there girls, that's Gilgamesh, King of Sumeria…" I pointed out.

"YOU MONGREL FORGOT KING OF HEROES, DEFEATER OF ARMIES, FIRST HERO, AND FIRST KING OF HUMANITY, OWNER OF ALL THE TREASURES OF THE WORLD, CONQUEROR OF THIS KITCHEN AND MAINTAINER OF THIS PLACE!" came the shout from the kitchen. Karin dropped the controller and was rolling around laughing on the floor.

I sigh. "…Aaand, our lovely nanny. And he hates when we mess up his titles." I finished, "The thing is: King Arthur was a woman."

"Nice joke. How much of that is actually true?" Sumire asked from another couch.

"Which of them?" Yuki asked. I'm quite surprised she believed _everything_. Then again, she remembered everything after a bit of hypnosis from Keiko so she already saw that the usual insanity of our family disregards any common sense. "Was Arthur, I mean?" She finished.

"It's _Arturia_. The green-eyed blonde with the hairbun." Ulf answered from behind my couch.

I kind of lost it. "WHAT IS THIS? A _CIRCUS SIDE-SHOW_! GET BACK INTO THE WOODWORK YOU CRAWLED OUT OF, OR I'LL _BLUE_ YOU SORRY A*SES INTO ORBIT!"

Riko disappeared in the vent she was watching from, Ulf entered the first door he found unlocked together Karin. Kaien disappeared to somewhere else with Sakuya giggling madly, and Shinta, who was pretending to read a book, retreated into the kitchen.

"Where did we stop?" I asked calmly as I turned to face the girls again. Yuki had one of her sudden laughing fits, and Sumire and Fuuko joined her soon enough. I sighed once more. It would be a long morning explaining magic.

Sumire was the first to recover. "Did you seriously threaten to _paint_ them?" Fuuko laugher grew louder in response.

"Not really." I suppressed the urge to facepalm.

I threw a little amount of The Blue in the pillow Karin was sitting at the floor, and the thing exploded _and _disintegrated at once. Fuuko and Yuki stopped laughing immediately, and Sumire's eyes widened.

"Ladies, I present you the Fifth True Magic: The Blue." I bowed from where I stood. "The most efficient way of destruction ever conceived."

"It could use a better name though." Sumire observed. "Maybe 'The Disintegration' or 'Absolute Erasure', something _threatening_, you know."

Fuuko Laughed again, hysterically. "You three wait her for a second? I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Yuki asked.

"I'm going to threaten Kyon or Chisame into explaining the rest. I don't think I have the gift for this exposition thing."


	9. Teachings

"Is magic always THAT boring?" Kei whinned from her book.

"Yeah, I was expecting to learn something like a fireball, or pulling a rabbit out of a hat, maybe." Sumire said off-handedly.

"Well, Kaien could pull fireballs, and both Rin and Medea Kaa-san could too. As for the rabbit, well dad can do it, probably Uzume-Kaa-san too." I mused out loud.

"Is everyone in your family a wizard?" Kei asked in disbelief.

"Technically no. There are Magi, yes, also a Knight, A legendary erm, fallen deity (you just don't call Rider-kaa-san a monster... just don't), Aliens, a Vampire, well sort of," I spotted Ulf coming down the corridor, with Tamamo in toll. "Ulf, is your mom an Elf or a half one?" Ulf didn't deemed my question a serious one, or Tamamo's whispers were to distracting judging by his blush, either way the girls eyes focused on Tamamo's 'vulpine's features'.

"And she?" Kei asked.

"An aspect of Amaterasu, manifested as a Fox. My brother's girlfriend too." I chuckled.

"So he is into furry fetishes, hehe." Sumire asked from my other side. "What about you?"

"I think is better we go back to studies..." I try to keep Sumire-chan from teasing me even more.

"But I don't want to learn bounded-fields, I want to throw fireballs or such. What good would a bounded field do in a fight?" She asked.

"Well, Kaien, who uses fireballs for attack, have a bounded field of vectorial distortion for defense." I offered.

"Bounded-field of what?" Was Kei response.

"Vectorial distortion, like the one on page 937. His can distort the trajectory of projectiles and low powered attacks, so even if you shoot him with a sniper rifle from a 1m distance, the shot will miss."

"That is a useful trick." Kei said in awe.

"Hi, my lovely Ashikabi." Fuuko said embracing Kei by her neck. "Can you do any magic yet?"

"No, not yet. Can you release me? I don't swing that way."

"Yet." Fuuko corrected, lowering her hands to Kei's cleavage. "Never." Kei swatted the hand away.

"Oh, come on! Would it hurt to try?"

"Look, kiss is already awkward, I don't want to get physical."

"Girls?" I call my sister and girlfriend.

"You call that a kiss? Your lips barely touched!" Sumire said from my left.

"Girls!" They all looked at me. "Let's go back to studies please?"

"Aoshi-kun, you're no fun." Fuuko pouted.

"Pout if you want, I'm immune to your charms sis."

"Yeah, pft. Like you don't stare when I kiss Sumire-chan." I blush at the memory. Kissing, pfft. Is more like some twisted sexual hipnotic ritual designed to make a men's brain melt. And noses burst.

"Besides, I have a new student. Girls, Otouto, this is Yuuji-kun."

"Erm, hi." The blonde boy waved awkwardly, as much as I when I raise my hand back.

"Now play nice as both hareem members you are." Fuuko teased.

"Root hates me." I release a burst of the blue in my trashcan, making everyone in the room, except Fuuko-nee jump in surprise at my favored stress release method. Thanks, dad, for the reinforced trashcans. They're very therapeutic. "Since I have your attention, we're continuing this lesson in the training room 5." I leave taking deep breaths.

...

Training room five, or Reinforcement training room, had lots of scrap materials laying on shelves, as well as a empty space on the middle. I pick some things, and sit there in the floor, motioning them to follow. "I will be training you all in a very practical magic: Reinforcement. As it is," I show them a section of iron pipe. "one can strengthen himself," I bend the tube in an L shape, making their eyes widen. "objects," I touch a broken glass, them bring the makeshift club on it, but it doesn't smash, "or concepts." I pick a rusted knife, and cut a section of the same pipe.

"That is what I'm talking about!" Kei shout in glee. "Useful magic."

"But to strengthen something, you must learn to feel the object, then we learn analysis." I motion to the shelves of the room. "Pick any object, and focus your magic in it, getting a feel of its composition, structure and flaws." I point to the blonde guy. "You, whose name I forgot, come with me, we're opening your magic circuits,"I pause to think, then add: "if you have any." Both of the girls shiver at the memory of the method to bring magic forth, but he remains oblivious.

"Name is Yuuji Arihara. Look, pal, I'm as much uncomfortable with this as you, but your sis explained this Ashikabi stuff to me, and it seems serious. I won't say I will _love_ you, god forbid, kill me if I ever..." He shuddered, and so did I, "but we could be friends."

"Ok, will you spar with me?" I ask.

"Sure." He shrugged.

The following fight, or better yet asskicking, left my taller foe stretched in the floor, black eyed and bruised. "I will take a page of uncle's book: Want to be my equal, then work for it. Until then, I'm your better, and you will listen to me." I towered over him, daring him do disagree.

His face hardened, nad he oppened his mouth but thought better, and nodded. "Sure, sempai." He made a face. "Now what?"

"We are opening your magic circuits."

"Huh. Circuits? Am I sort of a magic computer?" He asked in confusion. Then in pain. "And, do you have healing magic? I kind of need it.." He wobbled a bit after getting up. Weakling. I can take ten times that punishment and keep going, and I'm between the weakest hitters on my age.

"Sure, _mongrel_." I suppress a smile. I always wanted to say that!

"What?"

"Nevermind." I picked my cellphone, and dialed Keiko's number. "Hello sis. Can you give me a hand at activating someone's circuits?"

"-someone's else call, Karin!" Came the voice in the other end. "Hi Ao, how can I help you?" She amended in a sweet tone.

"I asked if you can give me a hand at activating someone's circuits?" I suppress the urge to sigh.

"Sure, where are you?"

"Training room 5."

"Be there in 10 minutes, just finishing a gun's disassembly. Ja ne."

I turned to Arihara. "Rest a bit, my sister is coming to finish your initiation."

"Are you guys some sort of sect? I mean, how many 'sisters' and 'brothers' do you have? And Initiation, rules of secrecy, emegency codes..."

"Oh root!" I sighed. "I have one father, 22 mothers, 10 brothers and 17 sisters. We are a big family, and as such we need special rules. As for the codes, try to say: 'We have a humanoid Alien with moderate injuries needing treatment' in less than 3 secs. And that is not the longest one."

He just nodded dumbly.

"Hi! I'm here!" Keiko skipped step to our direction.

"You look happy, did you got a new toy?" Fuuko asked.

"Yep a PGM Hecate II. Its second hand, but I'm cleaning and repairing it. I was going to disassemble it to reinforcement anyway..." She was giddy like a schoolgirl. I was considering a visit to uncle Shiki, or Fuyuki house.

"Is that some sort of motorcycle? The name sounds familiar..." The wanna-be mage asked.

"If it's familiar, you're watching too much war movies. It's a gun. A big one." I deadpanned.

"You mean a shotgun? Aren't guns Illegal in Japan?" His eyes widened in disbelief.

"Shotgun?" Keiko laughed, the assumed Lecture Pose 8, or product exposing pose as Karin would say. "This," She drawed her Citori from between her cleavage, making his eyes go wide (I'm not sure of the reason, and sure don't want to) and held it in one hand presenting it to him. "Is a shotgun. A Hecate, is bigger, more powerful and awesome than some little hunting toy..." She blushed and wavered while delivering her little speech, while Arihara was turning blue at the implications.

"And SHE is the one going to make me magic-able?" He turned to me, "You're leaving my life in the hands of a freaking gun psycho!" Keiko was still in cloud nine, oblivious of this little exchange, much to his luck.

"Being a magus means putting your life in the line. If you want to be a frisky flashy wizard, go to Hogwarts with the other wand wavers." No, I was not happy when 'Pothead', as Dad called him first, winged Aya. Nor am now.

"Huh?" Was his 'eloquent' response. It figures.

"Believe you or not, there are lots of places in this world that normal people don't see. Secret societies living right below you 'muggles' noses, yet you think you're in charge of the worl-I started to lecture, but an explosion from the Girl's sides interrupted. "What happened Fuuko?" I snap at her.

"Relax, bro, we're ok!" Came my sister's response. "But Sumire exploded an old pot."

"They're practicing analysis! How on earth did she exploded anything!"


	10. Troubled Fate, To Catch a Falling Star

TROUBLED FATE . 1: TO CATCH A FALLING STAR…

After the _crazy_ events of this afternoon, I decided to retire for the baths. Seriously, one of my brothers was hit by a spaceship! What are the chances of this ever happening!

Only in our family…

As I wash myself, Kyon and Haru, who took his bandages off (just let Chiyo-chan know about that and he will see) are discussing the event.

"Next time you got a '_feeling_' Kyon, I will stay home."

"I hate to say I told you, but I-" Kyon snarked characteristically.

"Complete that sentence and you will lament your lack of powers..." Nii-san said threateningly.

I admit that my jibe was more jealousy than trying to defuse the situation, but Haru-nii is fun to mess with. "Oh, what in the heavens is _so_ bad about it! You even got _another_ girl for your harem! Girls seem to fall left and right for you Nii-san! I only wish things like this happen to me!" I throw my head back to relax.

Haru just 'Hned' in his aloof way, blushing and laughing embarrassed.

Kyon, on the other hand, was less than amused: "You could've at least said in a way as to not tempt fate. Root knows it's bad luck to do it."

"Oh sure! What is the worst that could happen? A naked girl fall from the skies on my lap!"

Even if I knew what would happen for that, I would still do it, for sure enough, a girl just crashed on top of me, naked, with her mouth on mine, making wings of fire to sprout of my back.

I so stunned that I could only mumble "Fuweber n eberh", still in liplock and surprised of her fall, instead of appreciating the softness of the thighs straddling me.

Haru, and his incredible sense of opportunity, snarked right back at me: "You know what they say Otouto: Ask and thou shall receive." and laughed maniacally.

Kyon also input his two cents: "Idiot brother, you never learn, do you? Tempt fate will only come and bite you in the ass later." Then he sighed. "I will leave you and your newfound Ashikabi alone, for you to get to actually know each other. Try not to produce more Sekirei _descendants_ just _yet_." He said in a complete straight face.

"Wow, lady, you sure knows your _stu~uff_!" My voice wanders in uncharted octaves, when she rubs her naked waist on mine. So. Damn. Worth. It.

"Oh sorry. Uhm... Where am I?" She asked curiously.

Suddenly, the house alarms burst, probably because of the two men in suits and with tails appeared saying something suspicious like "We found you Lala-san, now come with us."

She cowered into me, and I found my blood boiling at the thought of these guys getting near her. It must be sort of a natural reaction when they threaten my Ashikabi, because I didn't even _know_ her. Even if she is cute.

I didn't moved at all, just flicked of my wrist and focused some of my power, which came off really easier than it should, and the two wanna-be-kidnappers were rendered unconscious by a blast of fire. Yes, I practiced that move _so _much, and it finally paid off.

"Take a nap, you two." Pity, I couldn't think of a better badass line. I turned to my newfound Ashikabi wanting to try some bonding , Fuuko style.

Unfortunately, Takeshi-nii-san chosen that moment to arrive, and seeing the girl, still naked, straddling my waist, he looked like he was about to burst. I didn't even have time to explain myself: He made both of the masks, bleeding eyes and clacks, and darkened his own features instantly. "Lewd behavior, violence and girls in the male's side of the ba**t**h**s** a**r**e **a**l**l**.**.**. **FORBIDDEN**!" I fell prey of his untold horrors of the Hanya and Ashura, hearing the gurgles of my brother Haru probably foaming at the mouth for the very same reason. I could still hear though, barely conscious as I was, the girl exclaim in _delight_:

"THAT WAS AMAZING! Can you teach it!"

...

I awoke a few minutes later, being carried by Haru and Kyon to the dressing room.

"She was completely unaffected?"

"It seems so." Kyon interject. "It's your fault, for tempting fate. Really he should've known better." I shot him a dirty look.

"So what? I got a pretty Ashikabi out of it, what can possibly be wrong with that?"

"He did again." Kyon noted.

"May the Root have Mercy of us..." Haru mumble.

"Don't talk of me like I'm not here!"

…

That was probably why I'm out thinking 'bout the meaning of life late at night, stretched in the hills of the backyard.

As a half-Sekirei, and a _reacting_ one no less, I was worried about winging myself to a girl named Haruna, maybe because she was so shy (even if she is cute) that I couldn't approach her, and the other girls that I was looking at (and considering winging myself to) were kind of flirting with other guys...

"Well, what is done, is done." At least I don't have to think about that anymore. Lala fell from the sky, lips on mine, so now she is my Ashikabi. And she is an Alien in form of a cheerful cute girl, but with a tail. (Not that there's problem on that, since the bottom where the tail is attached is nice too.)I just hope she doesn't have to be back home or something like that. I don't know her yet, but she seems quite a nice person.

Dad was exasperated. Kyon freaked out... then again, he does that for _everything_! "Don't 'temp fate' _this_, 'don't say it', _that_. Man, what an uptight brother!"

Come on! Is not like the Root keeps looking at us for ideas on how to mess with our life, is it? Right, nii-san getting hit by a crashing spaceship was the freakiest thing _ever_, not even that age-changing candies incident beat that in strangeness, but…

"Can it ever get worse than that?" I ask jokingly to the heavens above. "What? No falling beauties this time?" I joke. Kyon would get a heart attack if he ever heard me saying it out loud. "Maybe another spaceship?" _Nothing_ happened! I crack a smile. Take _that_ Kyon!

But it happened. At first I thought it was a shooting star, but when I was able to see what it was, there were no time to evade.

So I died.

...

"Damn, did anyone summon Hercules again?" My voice was coarse and quite higher pitched than usual, but then again, I was feeling like a cat run over by a train...

"Kai-n? Are y- a-ke y-?" My eardrums were ringing, and my eyesight was wavering. And I was in so much pain. It was worse than that time when I experimented with gravitational manipulation… Then the memories came back. The spaceship falling… and I being smashed.

But like with dad, that was not the end. I was somehow alive. And surprisingly in one piece too.

"WHAT THE-!" My disbelief turned to the very tone of "MY VOICE!" I sit up, and take note that there is something, a serum bag possibly attached to my chest, making it protest to the sudden movement.

Haru fell back with a nosebleed, which I don't really get it, and Chiyo said something like "Its true then?" All flustered in embarrassment. But Takeshi-nii-san's face caught all my attention, with the darkening thing, and because he said to me while turning back: "I know you didn't intend, and are not aware, but please cover your chest in front of your family."

Cover my chest! Yeah I'm shirtless, so what? I mean, I'm a boy. It's not like that time Karin decided to go to swimming classes topless.

I feel something amiss in between my legs, and look down... "I HAVE BREASTS! AND WHERE IS MY-"

Chiho-kaa-san covers my mouth, sparing me from the Ashura projection I see forming around Nii-san. "That is not proper language for a lady..."

"Lady! I'm no lady, I'm-"

"You're now. You've been hit by a falling spaceship, and they remade your body to save your life. They just made a little mistake." Chiyo-chan giggle.

"Little mistake my ass! I have a FEMALE Ashikabi dammit! Can't they undo-it?"

"Well, you always said you have nothing against yuri, right nii-san? Or should I say NEE-CHAN?" Keiko deliver mockingly. Now I regret teasing her about Karin, specially if-

"You brought it on yourself, temping fate is never sane nor healthy."

"Shut it Kyon!" I spat fire. Literally. It happens sometimes…

My eyes meet Father, who was standing in the corner with a serious expression. "Tou-san? Can't they undo it?" My voice was pleading, in a tone that could be considered moe, to increase my own despair.

"I was unable to request it, s- daughter. It would cause a intergalactic incident, and maybe a inter-world battle." He avoided looking at me, embarrassed.

"I understand." I said against my own acceptance. "I will not start liking boys would I?" I say in hope.

"Well, 80% of attraction is psychological, so if you never found yourself attracted to then before, no I don't believe you would." Chiho-kaa answered. "And if you have any doubts, or simply are curious about anything, just come to the me and I will explain it to you."

"Chiho-kaa-san..."

"I got through the same thing when I met your father, and it was kind of traumatic to me... but in the end I found happiness despite of that, and would never go back to being a man, despite certain unpleasantries that girls go through..." Mom offered helpfully.

I've heard some strange things about Mom and Dad, but they always change the subject when I ask, probably because it was one of the incidents that seem to happen only around us. But something like _**this**_!

"Son, no, daughter, we love you no matter your gender, and we will support you relationships in the way you choose to pursuit them." Dad added his two cents, still turned to the window.

"Otou-san."

"Besides, 'there is nothing like too much yuri!'"Leave it to Aoshi to say things like that at the worst moment. I deadpan.

"Stupid!" _Karin_ smack him uspide the head, "Wrong!" At least she could respect the mood. "Not 'too much'! The correct is 'There is nothing like _enough_ yuri!'" Forget what I thought.

Keiko draws two airsoft guns and knock them out, while Kyon mumble something like 'no sense of time, none of them'.

There are days that I hate them, but somedays I thank the root for my family, crazy as they are.


	11. To Love rued Fate, Reactions

"NO!"

**"But Nee-chan!"**

"NO! And DON'T call me Nee-chan!"

"I will call you Nii-san when you have something down he-"

"AND NO TOUCHIN' TOO! I have no reason to use the girls uniform! I just have to bind my breasts tightly an-"

**"Naive, Nee-chan, they apologized for the mistake in your gender publicly, so**_**everyone**_**in the city knows..."**

"Even so I'll not use the girls uniform! And all of you three, out of my room!" I push them out...

"Fufufu, she is so~o shy..."

"And she got nice breasts too, almost on par with mine..."

**"That just make her look like a cow, so is you."**

"Mou! How rude, Sakuya-chan! You should respect your onee-san."

...And try to ignore their embarrassing conversation. Seriously, I'll NOT wear a girls uniform, and definitely NOT girls' underwear!

...Even if I look as a girl, no matter how hot I look like...

NO.

I put my uniform, and leave to the breakfast table, my brothers and sisters hushing the conversation as they see me arriving...

"You, know, you could've asked some of your sisters for a girls uniform." Aoko-kaa says to me.

"I'm perfectly comfortable in a man's uniform."

"If you say soo..." Matsu-kaa starts that disturbing laugh of her "Just remember to go to the girl's room, lest you gave someone a show, and that you have to sit down to-"

"That is quite enough!" Miya-kaa thankfully takes that conversation out of track.

"If you have any doubts about your new body, dear, please consider talking to your mother or me, or Chiho-chan, but avoid Matsu-san or Kazehana-san.

And don't I know that... "Thanks Miya-kaa-san."

I eat my breakfast, ignoring the comments of my family, and depart to school, along with Arika and Kiri.

"Doesn't it bother you?" Nee-chan says to me...

"What?"

"The lack of sustenance..." She says in a small voice.

"I though breakfast was okay. Why?"

"Do you need money for a snack? Ask Kaien I have only enough for me here." Kiri complains. He just omitted that enough for him is enough for a five person family.

"I mean the lack of..." She points at my chest. Oh. Kiri clamps on and blush like mad.

"I would find strange if I wear it."

"I never thought I would miss it too, but now I feel naked without..." She blushingly admits. Not that she have anything to cover there. I'm just no crazy to ever say it out loud...

"Thats why I won't wear it. It will make embarrassing when I go back to being a boy."

"The aliens said it was permanent." Sis stated worriedly.

"I prefer to believe is not."

"Look otouto, Haruna-_chan_!" My red haired (and faced at the moment) brother try to deflect the conversation to safer territories, and I appreciate it.

"Weren't you reacting to her?" Arika asks.

"Sometimes I envy Sekirei, is so easy to you to find a date..." Kiri says lazily.

"You can't find what you don't look, lazy bum. And I thought I was, but now I'll never know, with Lala ki-" Suddenly all my body warms up, and my breath accelerate like I've run a marathon.

"Bro-erm, Sis you're alright?" Arika asks in concern. I feel a bit dizzy, and trip forward, but sis caught me, unfortunately _breast first_ making me moan out loud, in my aroused state. I panic and run forward, hitting and falling on top of Haruna-san in a _VERY_awkward position...

...

"I got slapped..." I complain to no one in particular...

"You _DESERVED IT_!" My sister says to me.

"It was your faul-" Uh oh.

"BAKA!" I get punched THROUGH the shoe lockers.


	12. To Love rued Fate, Crash Course

"I'm not going to change in the man's lockers!"

"Well, that would be asking for trouble, Bro-, _Kaien_. But Kokegawa-san said she won't let you in the girl's one." Kiri answered me.

"Couldn't they simply have a genderless or unknown gender bathroom too?" a third voice asked. A _what_ bathroom?

"What?" I turn to look. Long legs, bloomers, school shirt, pink hair, green eyes... "Lala? What are you doing here!"

"Your mom said is bad for a Sekirei to be away from her's Ashikabi, so she enrolled me in this school." She smiled happily. "Human schools are funny though. No high-tech computers or labs, and teachers that don't know complex calculus or anything..." She put her finger in her chin and turned her head cutely.

"Mother, huh? which one?" Kiri asked. **I** bet was Matsu-kaa-san.

"What kind of question was that? How can you have more than _ONE_ mother?" another voice asked.

"Well Kaien-chan have _LOTS_ of them! His father ha-" I cover Lala's mouth and drag her off. I changed schools to keep that a secret, and try to have a normal school life, no sense in letting her ruining my chances.

"Lala-san, people on earth don't know about aliens or magic stuff! And dad's harem or MBI stuff too. Don't talk about it in front of normal people!" I kind of whisper/scold her.

"Didn't they told in TV about you turning into a girl?" She asked innocently, "How could they don't know about aliens?"

Good point, really. "Well don't tell them you're one, and about our family too." I conceded.

"I told them we're living together." She pressed her fingers together. Damn her for being so cute, one can't even feel angry at her and don't feel bad for it.

"Huh." Figures the glances I keep receiving all day. That or is the fact that I have _breasts_ now.

"Just don't tell them about MBI or moms. Let's go back."

...

So, you can use the girls's room as long is empty? Sucks to be you. What is that you keep looking at?"

"Sis received a love letter." Arika observed. Since when I'm _SIS_? Can't I be Bro, even if in sis body?

"There is a match for everyone, but I believe mine is _**female**_." I stress the gender, maybe I could get my point across.

"And named Haruna?" Kiri asks.

"Just 'cause you can't find a girlfriend don't complain about I having one."

"Yeah bro, keep acting like that and you'll never find one." Arika agreed. "So, who is the one who gave you the letter? Saruyama? He look like someone who would pull something like that." Arika-nee turns to me annoyed.

"Since when she is your _girlfriend,_ and what about Lala?"

I ignore his smartass comment and open the envelope, and look for the signature with each of my siblings over my shoulders. "Yasuna? Wasn't that the girl who turned you down before you reacted to Haruna-chan?" Sister asked. "So that's why, right? She swing the other way." Kiri observes, to receive a slap on his ear from nee-chan. At least now it makes sense...

"And one more Emiya is in a love triangle... Why am I NOT surprised? Oh right! 'Cause Root sure love to screw us!" Arika mock-exclaimed.

"Love triangle, if you don't count Lala! Love polygon and if it keeps this pace, future harem in a few time." kiri observes.

"I don't think I'm THAT lucky, especially considering I'm in a girl's body."

"You never complained when you were peeking at Kei and Fuuko or Keiko and Karin..." Kiri said. In front of Arika-nee no less.

"Well, they're born as girls and I was as a boy." I try to change the subject, lest Arika-nee decide to punish me.

"I heard about you peeking, and if I ever caught you peeking at me you're dead. Let's go find our sisters to get the helicopter to Kamikura..." We stop in front of their school.

"Is that what you need? Why don't you just teleport there?" Lala asked. Teleport? According to dad stories, caster could pull that off, but we?

"And how do you pretend to 'simply teleport' Lala-san? That stuff only happens in movies." Or with Grandpa Zel involved, Kiri, you just forgot about him.

"I have a gadget that could do it. Here!" She pulled some sort of bracelet, resembling more a magic item than a high tech gadget. Now I understand that saying about 'sufficient advanced technology...'.

"Is that safe?" Arika-nee asked?

"Of course it is! I came here this way!"

"Hey nii-san, nee-chan! Why are you here?" As always, Kumako doesn't know the meaning of 'normal' volume.

"We're spending the weekend in Kamikura, but your memory keeps wolthing nothing." Gekkou responded. I snicker at my otouto trying to appear noble-like and maiming a language.

"Rea~ady or not..."

"Lala no!"

"Here we go!"

... Somewhere else ...

"Why do you waste your time with that pervert?"

"He is kind of nice, you only have to get to know him, erm her better, Kotegawa-san."

"I bet he asked to be transformed into a girl to get in our lockers!"

"I doubt," Another girl intervened. "Boys are kind of proud of their junk you know? Besides don't they have p*rn magazines for that?"

"But if he is one of those Emiya freaks I heard some rumors about, that is little compared to what they could-"

*POOF* ~ *CRASH*

We appeared in a heap of limbs and knocked the three girls that were still in the locker, I found myself face first in Haruna-chan's naked bosom, with Kotegawa-san pressing her underwear clad bottom at my back. And I am naked! Totally and completely naked!

"When, where, no, how did we?" Arika rapidfired questions back and forth? "My... clothes? My... My, MY CLOTHES!"

Uh oh.

"I. want. my. clothes. back." She hissed between teeth's. Everyone except Lala, even the ones unaccustomed to her, backed down immediately, unconcerned about nudity, their survival instincts screaming louder... "NOW!"

"Are you mad at me?" Arika simply eyed Lala sideways, her fiercely enraged green eyes, meeting those innocent, tearful ones. Her crossed arms untightened a bit, and her expression softened a little.

"Did you made it on purpose?" She fixed eye contact on the slighter short rosette.

"No, I just forgot to input the destination..." Lala appeared to shrink on herself.

"Then I forgive you. _This time only_." She turned, picked a uniform shirt and a bloomer in one of the open lockers, dressed and sits regally (much like her mother) to wait for her clothes back...


	13. To Love rued Fate, First Impact

…Either you give Lala-chan to me or I'll take this earthling and have my way with her!

And the day was so calm and quiet...

I woke around 6 as usual, with Lala in my bed, also as usual. I don't really mind, and while some of my moms might complain, kaa-san said if there is any problem then they should keep Fuuko and Aoshi in separate rooms before saying anything. Besides I'm a girl, if in body only, now.

"_Good Morning Lala-chan."_

"_Uh… Morning Kaien-chan."_

"_Kaien-__**kun**__, please?" I got up, and changed in my uniform. "Did you stay awake much later last night? You look kinda tired." She stills drowsy, and have light bags under her eyes. For Lala, that is quite something._

"_A few hours. Finished a new invention too." And delivered a sentence without exclamation… Situation is bad._

"_Why the rush, you need to sleep properly you know."_

"_You…" She yawned while stretching, "Always complain about being a girl, so I built something to fix it…" She shook her head to get rid of cobwebs and got up. Then she, still completely undressed (is quite difficult to ignore, even in this form), pointed something distinctly gun-like in my room's desk. "_

"_Well, it's worth a try." I mean, she is a genius! Let's be optimistic here. " What could possibly go wrong!"_

_She zapped me and wow! I got my junk back! "Lala, I LOVE YOU!"_

"_What is it with all this noise!" Arika-nee, my "sister next door", invade in time to catch my old, restored self. "Look nee-chan, I'm a boy again!"_

_She blinks. Again. "Wow. But, how?"_

"_Lala made a gender-swap device!"_

"_And you tested in YOURSELF! Way to go nii-san. You still surprise me with your 'uncommon' sense." Kyon snarks from the door. "I'm happy for you though." He adds as an afterthough._

"_It worked okay." I ignore my killjoy of a brother, but I couldn't restrain myself. "Look Dad, Moms, Brothers and Sisters… I AM A BOY AGAIN!"_

"_**Soo? Why are you so happy for? Those were some nice breasts you had, you're stupid for giving up a pair like those for some useless-" **__Sakuya covered her own mouth shyly, "Sorry about that nii-san. What Yin means is that… well… she is happy for you."_

"_It's okay imouto, I know she didn't mean it…"_

_Her face darkens a bit… __**"Oh but I did. Is not like you're enough of a man to use-" **__She made a face that I thought she was going to cry "Sorry, she is getting out of control recently, and I don't know why…" And she left._

_I did feel for her, but even with that couldn't keep the smile out of my face. So, after my happiest breakfast of these days, I depart to school._

"_Wait for me, Schoolmates! I'm back! And nothing can ruin my day!"_

…

"Go ahead, there is nothing to grope there Lisa-chan." I told my best friend in class. She is nice, open minded (she discovered about dad's harem and only asked when I was getting one too). But have this little, bad habit that remembers me of auntie Yukari. She gropes other girls. Since I was one until today morning, well…

"How?" Really, why everyone asks that? Oh right, people don't usually change genders…

"I told you I was a boy, remember?" I try to look at her over my shoulder.

"And I told you that you were disillusioned. Really, I ok with Les-"

"Yeah, I'm too, some of my sisters are. Just don't say it in front of them…"

"Right, so that means you got something down there…" She lowered her hands…

"Lisa! Not here, not in the school!"

"What are you perve-" Kotegawa, Lala and Haruna entered the class from the to look at us in that position. Haruna blushed crimson, Lala tilted her head in confusion, but Kotegawa, well… "YOU TWO PERVERTS! That is not a proper behavior of students! Remove your hands from her, erm his? How? No! Remove your hands now or-" Kotegawa was torn between confused, angry and embarrassed…

"Will you dare to remove them _yourself_?" Leaving room for Lisa tease her.

"Look, you… confirmed what you wanted to know," I try to keep my cool, no sense in giving her more reasons to tease me (I learned my lessons with Karin) "Can you let me go now? I kinda need to go to the restroom…"

Before she gets another teasing remark in, I left the room. I'm kind of used to THAT, I don't know if it's because of my family, of if I simply like the contact of a girl's body with mine. But to feel her, for a lack of a better term, _embrace_ in my natural body was something else.

To think that started as a normal school year…

"_So, how was your day son?" Father asked me during dinner, He is more annoyed than usual, but that might be the fact that Gil-oji-san cooked today. Or the five guests in the room, including the fools I knocked out the other night…_

"_Strange. Lala can made teleport devices, Arika is PMSing as always, And I'm still reacting to Haruna-chan. Can it get worse?" Kyon's fork misses his plate and embedded in the table at my question._

"_Didn't Lala winged you? You even said that your control got better."_

"_She __**did**__ winged me, yet somehow, I'm still reacting to Haruna-chan."_

"_And Received a love letter from Yasuna." Kiri spoke from his side while fishing another plate of fried locusts and barley bread from the table. I still refuse to eat an insect, even if is considered a culinary delicacy in an extinct empire._

"_Lucky bro! So you're getting your harem finally?" Aoshi congratulate me._

"_Not yet Ao, how is Kei adapting?" He cringe at my question. That bad, huh? "And father, why are those guys over there?"_

"_The one in armor is called Zastim, and those two are his subordinates, all of the are Lala's bodyguards. They arrived shortly after her, but you were unconscious. The other in the alien costume was the one who hit you with his spaceship. He assumed the name of Sora Hitomi, and the girl with pink hair is Janpuu, the spaceship control system."_

"_What! Why are they staying here? Couldn't you simply shoo them?"_

"_That is not how a proper host should act son." Miya-kaa-san corrected me. "Now why lie about you reacting to a girl when there is no need? We will still support you if you choose to have a polygamous relationship should you choose to."_

"_I'm not lying! Tell them Arika, Kiri, you both saw it!"_

"_Yes, he didn't seem normal…" Arika allowed._

"_~I have the recording~" Matsu-kaa-san singsonged. "You really know how to land!" I blush at the memories…_

"_Can I see?" Dad asked calmly._

_Matsu-kaa-san plays it at the dinner room screen. Some of my brothers and sister cheer, others blush, Sakuya (the Yin) even propose a toast to my 'falling skills'…_

"_Why root allows these mongrels to keep finding women and starting to spawn more mongrels to give me trouble…" I heard Uncle Gil mutters._

"_We have to research this carefully," Dad says to Miya-kaa. "If Half-Sekirei can react to more than one person…"_

"_The harems will not be an Emiya-only trademark!" Karin mock-finished from her seat, only to be hit in the head by Keiko. "Shut it." "Saiai (beloved, darling) is so~o violent, I fear for when she finally decide to ravish me…" Keiko's brow just twitched._

_Dad shook his head, in sync with Uzume and Chiho (and that is quite disturbing to see) "Someday it could create problems to him and the others."_

"_I WON'T ALLOW IT!" The one dad pointed as Zastim rose from his seat, "IF THIS UNWORTHY HUMAN PLANS TO BETRAY LALA-SAMA, I WILL… NO! I __**CHALLENGE **__YOU TO A DUEL FOR LALA-SAMA'S HONOR!"_

"_Zastim-san," Dad, Miya, Takeshi and Chiho said unison, and the air darkened, "shouting in the table is…__**forbidden**__!" we closed our eyes knowing all so well what is to happen._

On a second thought, any time at my house will NEVER be normal…

I chuckle at the memory, and distracted as I was, I bumped into someone, better yet, some girl, and fell on top of her…Typical me. Since I became a girl my balance have been off, but even back to a boy, it didn't get any better.

"Who are you? I think I know you, but…" I rose and offer her a hand.

"Yasuna?" I felt myself blushing. I have more or less evaded her since the love letter thing, and 15 days are kind of a long time. But if she really swings that way, and Karin said she probably did, well, I don't want to be a girl forever so…

"Who are you?" She asked me. I'm not that different as a boy (much to my chagrin), why she didn't recognize me?

"Kaien. You know, the boy who got gender-bent into a girl by crazy aliens..." Who live in my house now? How many more space races will end up in our home?

"Uh. Sorry didn't saw you." She said sadly.

"Wait! Erm, about that letter… I… will not be a girl forever, and since you like girls…"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" She ran past me crying. Damn, I'm still no good with this. And I can't even try and fix it…

I enter the toilet. The girl in front of me turns, and looks at me for a second, then scream "PERVERT!"

OH, I'm a boy again! OPS!

I got hit, I think, and black out.

…

I come to my senses again, on the infirmary, with a beautiful lady looking at me…

"I was starting to think you were dying on me." She joked.

"Nah, we Emiyas do not die when we're killed." I joke about something my father told me once.

"I fail to see a human that is capable of that…" She looked at me curiously for a moment, "Or an alien, for that matter."

"How did you?"

She pulled her hair back, revealing a set of pointy ears, "Easy, when I'm not from earth myself… Dr. Ryouko Mikado, pleased to meet you..."

"Kaien Emiya."

"Weird name for a Memorzan."

"Memo-what?"

"Are you not from Memorze planet?" She looked at me more closely. I on the other hand, try to prevent my eyes to stare down her generous cleavage.

"I'm from earth, but I'm a Sekirei descendant… Why?"

"Sekirei! That almost extinct species? Wait. How do you change genders then?" She closes even more. I look down and surely, my breasts are back. Maybe I must remain conscious to Lala's ray keep working. But I can ask her later.

"Erm, _that_ will be long story…"

"I see… Well, you got quite a hit in the head, so is better if you lay for a while. If you need anything, I'm right there. And do tell me that story later, I'm quite interested." She winked at me.

I lay down, and Yasuna pops on my mind again… Isn't that I don't want to accept her, but I can't, dammit!

… _a few days after…_

"_What the heck is happening home?" Kiri asked. Another explosion rocks the building, and flashes of light were seen through some of the windows…_

"_Dunno. Did Negi's harem come to visit again?" I ask absentmindedly. Come on! Is not like that doesn't happen every weekend and some anyway!_

"_If I was to hazard a guess, I would say that is more like Nanoha's stuff…" Aoshi commented._

"_**COME BACK HERE LITTLE PERVERT!" **__Echoes through the building. Definitely Asuna._

"_Ala Alba that is. Looks like you own me money, Bro." I jibe at him._

"_Who said we were betting?"_

"_Aren't you always?" Kiri asked with a raised eyebrow. Aoshi just throw him a dirty look._

_A little kid jumps through the window, with Asuna hot in his heels, and slide under Primy, while a not so lucky red-head collides with the white beast. Said pet turn to her and pic her harisen in his mouth, lowers his front legs and waves his tail, barking happily._

"_Give my artifact back, you oversized puppy!" Asuna shouts indignantly, while Primy jumps around her barking to draw her attention._

_All the while the kid jumps in front of us, and start to look at me and Arika with an innocent look that makes me think of Karin, which is never a good sign…_

"_Soo, you're the one my daughter has chosen… Kind of a skinny kid." He eyed Aoshi up and down. "I will never understand Lala's taste, as always…"_

"_You're Lala's DAD!"Arika asked in surprise. "Wait! Did you eat any colored candies?" I nod at the possibility._

"_Actually, Lala has chosen me." I step up. Whatever his size, "I'm Kaien Emiya sir…" It always pays to be polite. Especially if someone fed him __**that**__ pills._

"_I'm Gid Lucion Devilluke, King of the universe." He answers absentmindedly, "So Lala like girls. That's why the marriage arrangements never worked…." King? Of the ENTIRE universe? WOW! Either he is megalomaniac or…_

"_Is a pleasure...your Majesty." Kiri bows. I follow suit (after a not so light nudge from him)._

_He pats my head "Soft spoken and polite, even being from a clan of warriors… I like it! Maybe you could even be my successor…" then his grip tightens on my scalp, and he forces me to face him, "But beware youngling: Break my beloved daughter's heart, and I'll break you, this family of yours and this tiny planet." the sheer power irradiating from him made sure to show it was __NOT __an empty threat…_

"_Yes sir, I got it!"_

"_By the way, Zastin mentioned a duel…" The chibi-sized King's eyes sparkled with curiosity._

… _Later on the dojo…_

"_So it will be a knock-out duel?" I ask the armor clad alien._

"_You will pay for betraying Lala, earthling scum." The armor-clad alien taunted._

_I try to control my temper, and focus myself. "I'm ready."_

_He steps forward quickly and surely, but not as fast as father or some of moms, delivering a punch with his right hand which I sidestep, rotating my body in an axe-kick, but he steps back, in a style that remember a mix of boxing and European sword styles. Lala cheers for me from the sidelines, much to his dismay, along with some of my more energetic siblings._

_The armor clad bodyguard attacks again, with a stepping left punch aimed at my right side, and this time instead of evading, I catch it with my right hand, planning to deliver a direct hit to his face and end the fight…_

_I was the wrong move._

_I felt my hand protest, and hit my left side, throwing me in the air like sack of potatoes. I spun in the air and his right hand closed in aiming for my head, ready to finish the job, forcing me to try a gamble, creating a blast of hot air in front of me allowing me to evade his right hook. Luckly I was successful and landed a bit uneasy on my feet, but otherwise only moderately singed._

"_Is that everything? Cause, you sure look like you only hit yourself with that trick back there." My enemy taunted. He closed his eyes and shook his head, an unforgivable mistake when fighting an unknown opponent. I dash forward, and throw a direct punch at his face despite the protest of my side and hand… It hits home. But my opponent doesn't even move._

_He opens his eye and look at me "Is that all your strength? I should have not evaded since the beginning. I barely felt that!" He backhands me a few meters back. "Earthlings are so~o weak!" He continued, "What makes you think you deserve Lala-sama?" I felt my blood boil, and the air heat around me. Some of my siblings face darkens, but they do not move._

_I rise again._

"_Why so quiet? Did I hurt you that much?"_

_I won't use my powers on him. It will only prove my weakness, and will beat the purpose of this test. I hold on my rage and focus myself… He is stronger, but I'm faster. My balance is a bit off in this body… But I got an idea._

_I dash once more and he don't even move his feet, choosing to backhand me again with his right hand._

_I duck his attack, and touch the floor with my left hand. Using my momentum, I roll in the floor, mule kicking him in the chin. He is thrown back a bit, but otherwise unharmed. I follow the attack with a hit from my right leg, this time aiming at his stomach. He doubles a bit and I stretch both of my legs and roll away from him._

_It will work. I reinforce myself._

_He come at me, right hand cocked back to deliver a direct punch, and instead of blocking again I roll my arms into his, positioning myself inside of his guard, and use the combo I saw Karasuba-kaa-san use against Yume-kaa-san when she got disarmed. Left-Elbow the armpit, spin 90 degrees getting side-by-side with him, backhand his nose up, then I spin my body diagonally, supporting it my weight on my left hand, and deliver an axe-kick in the back of his neck, then I reverse the spin back, bending the supporting knee to lower my stance, and sweep low taking the enemy's footing from him, stopping sideways, and righting my body and all the while raising my right hand to deliver a powerful hook to the chin._

_The alien challenger impacts the floor, and tries to rise again, only to fail. "…whatever he learned, he learned by himself." I hear Karasuba-kaa-san say to dad from the sidelines. Then she turns to me. "The sweep was a bit off, and the kick was a bit weak, but I give you an 8 overall."_

"_Uh, thanks." She smiles that disturbing smile of her in response._

"_Impressive, kid." King Gid compliments me. "There are not so many races that could stand a trained devilukean in hand-to-hand combat. You are acceptable as her fiancée, but you will have to deal with the other candidates. And if anything happens to her…"_

"_I get it sir."_

_He goes away chatting about my brother and some Time-Space Agency-Something with my father, and Lala tackles me by my side…_

"_THAT WAS AMAZING! He pow! And you swoosh, and then he pow and you arghh, and then you…" Each 'sentence' was accompanied by her punching, evading, and gesticulating in an exaggerated form._

"_Erm thanks Lala-chan."_

"_Maybe if you train hard you can get as strong as dad." She commented off-handedly. So her dad IS even stronger huh? Not an empty threat for sure…_

…Back in present time…

I'm screwed. If I leave Yasuna be I'm a jerk. If I go and try to fix it I might doom the earth.

And the girls are thinking I'm a pervert, since I simply got in the girls bathroom. Yep, it can't get worse than that. It's impossible.

I heard a muffled gasp down the corridor.

In hindsight, it can always get worst, in this case we only needed a D.I.D.

I follow up the sounds, leading me to a locked storage room. A concentrated burst of fire in the lock, and I simply enter like it was open in first place.

A big and bulky alien with horns, bluish skin and frog-like face stood there stunned at my appearance, and behind him, Lala and Haruna bind by what appears to be some sort of tentacle monster. My blood boils like fire in my veins.

"Hohohoho! Look at the beauty that came here! You dear are a jewel that I'm taking!"

I look to one side, than another. No one here. Yep, is me.

"Not interested. Could you release my friends peacefully?" I say it only 'cause I was raised this way. Inside, I want him to say no, so I can make his face into charcoal.

"Come on. I researched Lala's fiancée and discovered a beautiful girl like you, infatuated with not only one, but two lovely ladies… I was delighted by this forbidden relationship!" He make a delighted face, and I took a page of my mother's book: Instead of a bright slap, I close my fist and try to put it through his left eye socket.

I only partially succeed, for his face is soft as a balloon. His body is thrown back, and suddenly shrinks turning child-like. He drops to his knees: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't kill me!" And run away like the devil was on his heels.

"Coward." I find myself mumbling while helping Lala and Haruna down. Both of them were unconscious and quite undressed, leaving no doubts what that shameless things that guy was planning.

"That is all you have?" Another voice entered the door. "You might as well give up and resign to a member of my harem." This alien, unlike the other, wasn't bulkier, but had a dangerous aura. That and he were armed with a gun like device.

"Yes," his eyes followed mine, "I'm armed, and if you refuse to come peacefully, I will use force. Master's orders were clear: bring the girl and leave no witnesses. I can kill you or take you with-"

…

Kotegawa was calming herself, after a verbal spar with that shameless girl, Lisa. As far as she was concerned, that girl and her friend, are nothing but shameless exhibitionists, groping each other in the class-

_**Kaboom! **_An explosion rocked the building, coming from the lower floor.

She did what was her duty as a defender of moral and good behavior: she called the authorities.

…

The enemy this time was good, leaving no openings, and even when surprised in mid speech, he escaped unharmed. Luckily his weapon was projectile-based making my magic defenses efficient against his attacks. Good thing, since I was forced to rely on it for the fact that I was between Lala, Haruna and our wanna be abductor.

Another shot bounced my shield, and hit the outer wall. I respond with a fireball to his face, as a distraction, while aiming another at his torso. He fell for the trick and doubled as his body was heavily singed, and I threw another aiming it at his back, but he evades, and jump through the window. "I'll be-" I throw a parting fireblast at his turned head, silencing the fool. And go get the girls down.

Only for Kotegawa to enter the door, and see me with my hands at Haruna's hips…

"What in the name of Kami, heaven or hell are you doing?"

You know what? I might as well give up. It rea~ally can't get worst, can it?


	14. Fated Encounters

I cursed the root, though THIS time I'm not sure if it is HIS fault (I sincerely HOPE it's a HE, if it's a SHE, well considering my history with woman...).

I cradle the girl, woman, ALIEN in my arms and try to get inside the house, and find Chiho, and considering calling mom. I tried my best, Avalon included to save the lady in my arms, and she appeared to be somewhat recovered, but you never know with natives of other planets...

Someone is going to be fired. And fired on! I told them to turn off the auto-ASACT (Anti Spacecraft Auto Cannon Technology) after the fiasco with king Gid, but they never listen to me in the higher ups of the government. Oh no! Is better to fire any approaching spacecraft and make more enemies for earth.

So while taking a little walk in the garden, I see a spacecraft falling on my garden (Luckly, not hitting any of my sons, son and daughter now, this time), and having a breakdown. And someone was crying for help.

I never refused an innocent cry for help.

I see Uzume while entering the house, and she at looking at the girl cradled in my arms, snark at me: "When, darl-"

"Sorry dear, SHH-2, snark later, please find Chiyo and get her to the infirmary!" I cut her, and she departs to find our shared lover.

I enter the infirmary (I made sure to place it near the entrance door, just in case), and place the girl in a bed, Chiyo, who was in another treating a few scratches looks curiously and knowingly at me.

"SHH-2" I said simply, and she get her medical supplies.

"I will have to do. Mikado-san got out to Okiwana for a few herbs..." She said while making a few exams.

"I called your mother. Who is Mikado-san? The name sounds familiar..."

"The nurse you hired! Or did mothers tried to erase your memory of outsider girls again?"

"Oh. The nurse. Well, your mothers try to keep me as far as possible to any woman not in my harem... My pornomancer skills to be blamed." I mumble the last part.

"Oh yeah," She giggle at my sheepishness. "the pornomancer skills. Lorelei-kaa-san told us, that in clock tower there is a said 'if Akasha is a woman, Shirou Emiya is her master'. Not completely untrue, if the Shinra's parentage is to be believed, not that I think Reiko was lying."

I laugh at that. "Well he is Shirou Emiya too, right?"

Chiho enters the door, and bonks my head. "Silence in infirmary, honey. Dear, what is the situation?"

"SHH-2, She was stabilized, but is to be watched for adverse reactions to earth's mana, od, and general environment."

…

I awake in a beautiful room. Probably in that heaven dad told me about, for the last thing I remember, was being dragged out of my burning spaceship by an angel with white-streaked red hair and the kindest golden eyes I ever saw.

Now I am in a room of light blue, with glassy windows, and white curtains, and out there one of those beaches like father told me about in his stories. I wake up, and a beautiful woman clad in white at my side talk to me:

"Easy there sweetie, you've being unconscious for almost two days."

"Is this heaven? Where is the angel who saved me?" I said, not yet fully awake.

"And she was not even conscious, damned pornomancy!" She grumbles. Damned what?

"What?" I ask numbly.

"I think you were hallucinating..."

"Uh." I couldn't keep the disappointment out of my voice. He was so handsome, yet so cute. I must've blushed cause my caretaker grumbled some more, something that sounded like tying someone for punishment, and Miya's gear.

Must be a terran's stuff. "Please to meet you, my name is Mizuho Kazami." I bow in my seated position, but once back up my head spin like crazy.

"Chiho Emiya. Welcome to the Earth, Kazami-san. Rest for a bit, I will get you something to eat."

...

I go assault the kitchen, and Gil calls me on it, closing the fridges door little time after I opened. "Lunch will be ready in one hour and forty minutes, no soon, no less, eating before that will ruin your appetite."

"Yet, you could be a bit more polite about it." I glare at him.

"You are not intimidating anyone." He towers above me easily, for I spend most of my adolescence on a bed. Kazehana-chan calls me tiny, but I prefer pettit. "I am the ruler of the kitchen, if not of the house. The faker build the estates, but I am the one who maintains them. And tasting my cook is a privilege that can't admit being spoiled-"

I simply igned his speech going to raid the fridge again. "Is not for me, is for Kazami-san, the girl Shirou-kun have rescued the other day..."

"I still can't believe the faker is getting another wife. I hope he is at least satisfied with the number of kids. If you got more, I will definitely need help. And don't even start with the 'you have the prinni-', Stop leaving me alone when I talk!"

I couldn't suppress my giggles. But my happiness was short lived, for as I entered the infirmary, Shirou, MY Shirou was talking with Kazami-san.

"... and we have a lot of kids too. They're a bit energetic, but very nice guys once you get to know them."

"Sounds nice. I got a little sister, but always imagined how is like to have a large family." She smile cutely while blushing. He is doing it again, and not even trying dammit! It was the same with Luvia! She came for a visit, talks for an afternoon, have tea, she stays for a week, and the next time I asked when she was going back to england she decided to marry him!

No, I will not let it happen. "Honey? Met Kazami-san already?"

"Yes Chiho-chan." He kiss me on the lips, forcing me to cling of my anger with all my might. "Is there something wrong?"

"Gil was giving me a speech. I think I've heard Saber calling you, better not leave her waiting..."

Darling leaves, and I turn to our guest, a smile reminiscent of my daughter gracing my lips. "Look, I know how handsome is he, how charming, utterly kind ans loving he is... but he is set! He have enough wives as it is, and we do not need an outsider to start joining our family!"

"I, I, I was just talking." She embrace her legs, trying to appear smaller. "I meant no harm."

"You all start talking. Then you want to touch, then kiss, then you go to bed with him..." She turn red, but I don't relent, "And then you want to marry. I saw that many times. .!"

"You really love him. And I can see why..."

"That is the problem, every woman can see why." I let my head fall in my hands, and drop on the bed. "He spend time with all of us, as much as he can, but sometimes I feel he is neglecting himself, or pushing himself beyond his own limits to make us happy. And that makes me sad." She embrace me warmly. "I know how bad is to push your body beyond your limits, and I don't want that to no one. I know he mean well, but I can't help but worry for him...I don't want to go through this, never again... Uzume-chan was enough..."

"Shh. I understand... I understand..." She made circling motions on my back...

I was trying to break her, but I was the one who broke.


	15. Lost in the World, Beautiful Sicily

"Run that by me again? We are selling guns to the mafia!" Keiko asked in astonishment.

"Technically yes, but they are under the pretext of 'independent security enterprise'." Dad explained.

It was supposed to be a simple summer break assignment, but in our family, noting is _that_ simple, so here are we in the middle of Europe, going to a birthday party of a crime lord, to sell him weapons. Since when world was so broken?

"Doesn't change what they ARE. We're supposed to be the good guys you know?" Keiko stare at him like she wanted to set him on fire. "Trying to find the way with less bloodshed, and all..."

"Which might take us though a seemingly evil way." Otou-san stated coolly, "We are in an _undercover_ operation, making the high-tech weapons produced in division 3 of MBI publically available to lure crime lords into showing themselves to INTERPOL."

"Why can we simply kill them?" Was my sister's angered question. "Or leave it to the CIA, or something like that?"

"If we kill one, other _will_ rise in his place, or his rivals will be made more powerful, you remember when Rider told you about the hydra? Kill all of them at once is the only way to do it safely. Also they're showing some signs of being magic users, and we can't show things publically or we risk broking a war over MBI weapon magitek or the magic existence. Root, I hate politics."

I briefly wonder how can someone _like_ politics…

"Does that mean I can shoot people there?" Sis changed gears.

"No. Unless they point guns at _you_ or _Karin_, **no**. But if they show you guns, or offer you to shoot you're allowed to show your abilities."

"You are just offering 'cause you know she will do it anyway." I observe. He nods.

"Yes, I wouldn't do it otherwise." Shirou stated.

"Why are they coming along anyway?" Shiro-san asked. I glare at him.

"You know how these mafia guys are: 'You deal with the family, you're family too...' And when he complained about his girl swinging the other way, I let slip that I _knew_ how it was, and he ended up insisting the girls attended her daughter birthday party, even if they're underage. Had enough dead threats about it as it is, thanks. Rin threatened me, along with all my other wives, hell, _Gilgamesh_ threatened me! More than usual anyway… And Matsu... Matsu threatened to do that, that, that _abomination_! She promised to never even _mention_ _**that**_ again! Not that, not the toys..." And he started to mumble incoherently.

I remember that. Took me two hours to bypass the firewall to watch less the five minutes, but it was totally worth it.

Shiro-san whimpered.

...

We arrive at the mansion, lots of cool cars stopped at the parking lot. Dad chosen to impress, for power show in this world is everything, so he come in his black Lamborghini (actually, Rider-kaa-san's) along with Shiro as escort.

"Have I ever told you that you gave Rider-kaa an awesome car?" Keiko asked.

"Not that I remember, dear." Dad answered.

"When I'm of age can I have one too?" She tried.

"Work and gather the half of the money, and I pay the other half for you. This way you will prove that you deserve it."

"Not fair, you can buy two of them with a month of money, and can't give me one!" my Ashikabi whined.

"I _can_ give you, but if I gave you everything you wanted, you would have been spoiled."

"Bah. You say it like you give me anything I ask…"

"I consider _most_ of your requests," sis shot him a dry look "except for _weapons of mass destruction_, I mean. Now behave, and try not to get yourselves in trouble."

...

We don't even try to be near, it's not like we could've put it into the essay anyway: 'my dad's job as the chairman of MBI is to sell guns to people who should have been on Interpol's _most wanted_ list, should've they been _more competent_...' no that wouldn't do. So we roam free through the party. I met one of the securities 'officers' and talked a bit about general guns, until Karin dragged me off to parts unknown...

"What the?" I start only to be silenced by her hand and a 'shushing' motion, so I tone it down.

"Come on, the girls are going that way..."

"Girls?"

"Yep, they're flirting with each other quite boldly, and now they're going to their room..."

"So?"

"So? It's research time! We can see how 'adults' do it, and try it out later."

"Sis, I don't intend to-"

"If you ever change your mind I want you to have the know-how. And before you ever deny, I know you _want_ to watch, I've saw you, Sakuya and Riko watching Kaze-kaa-san with Rider-kaa-san and Kaa-san." And she had to remember me of _that_, now I am curious.

As expected of the mafia. There are guards everywhere. Thankfully they didn't saw us (sneaking up in dad's room with Sakuya proved useful afterall).

"Come here, let's try the window."

"Sis, can't we go back to the party?"

"Do we really have too...?" She complains annoyed. Sis is incredibly persistent when it comes to peeping, but gives up easily on anything else.

"Couldn't you simply _record_ them?"

"Not a camera in there, unfortunately."

We sneak through the window, and crawl till we reach the balcony, to be greeted by a young woman trying to hack the door open. We simply hid ourselves on the back of a large flower pot, just in time for a blond man to arrive on the scene... and pretend he was there all the time.

"You look like a goddess in the moonlight."

"Stop flirting and go back to work Weber. That is an order!"

Order? They make it sound like they're some sort of spies...

"That's the cold lady I love..."

"You're drunk at work, _again_." She sighed. "Just pick the girl alre-"

The door was kicked and both of them jumped there with us, hiding from the guards who opened fire immediately.

"They're shooting at us!" Karin cried.

"Thanks for the heads up, kid!" The girl said. "Damn it!"

The girl took a .45 Pistol and started to shoot back, so I picked a pair of guns: one large JTL .500 Magnum (my favored revolver), and my Contender, the only gun I ever traced and proceeded to shot back too.

"Where did you got the guns!" The woman asked.

"They're mine, why?" A shot break a bit of cement near my head. "YOU DARE TO SHOOT ME? DIE!"

"I like her already." The blonde guy chuckled.

"What the heck are you two doing here?" She asked while changing a clip.

"I thought you were going to boink her, and..." Karin pointed at the now sleeping blonde.

"She dragged you here?" She asked me, and my face must've been answer enough.

"Can't we get through the wall!" The blonde asked.

"No, we need explosives for that idiot!" The snapped back instantly.

"Then at least tell me you got a rifle to take that idiot down!"

"I can get you a rifle version of this." I show the contender to him.

"30-06?"

"Of course!"

"Where do you have it?"

I pick one of my keychains and flow od through it releasing the weapon behind my back and offer him. Their eyes bulged like balloons, and the girl looked at me strangely. "How!"

"A wizard did it?"

"Explain later. You wouldn't happen to have any explosives there too would you?" She asked while the guy shot the enemy commandant in the head. Professional snipers, infiltrators, abductors. Who are these guys?

"I have grenades... Are you CIA, FBI, Interpol or somethi-"

The rest of my question was suddenly cut as the wall at our back exploded and they dragged us through the hole into a small fiat. The driver stomped the gas pedal flat, rushing through the streets faster than it should be safe, or possible with such a small car, with the same guys at pursuit, shooting us with enough lead to make a nuclear reactor.

"Thank God you brought a semi-automatic rifle!" The blonde guy cheered.

"Tou-san is going to kill us for sure..." Karin whined.

"Whose fault is it? And stop wiggling in my lap!"

The mysterious arrival brought an entire arsenal so it was easier for them to fight the guys at our heels, but as if something out of a comical manga, the guy seemed less interested in the fact that we're being shot at, than in some phone call he is making while driving, something about final exams (What the!).

Heavier shots mark our car's left side, and the woman, Mao I think, take a Bazooka from behind the seat and took aim.

As she releases her shot, exploding part of a street to block their way, I take my contender rifle and reverse positions in my seat to take potshots at our foes. "You could've at least have brought another bazooka shot!" The girl whined to the driver, who was shooting a car with his desert eagle pistol. "Do you have another one there girlie?" She asked me.

"Why would she have one Mao?" The driver asked.

"Sorry, that I can't help you with." I could, _**if**_ I had analyzed it beforehand, but I haven't.

"Damn, I'm out of bullets!" The blonde complained. I gave him more. "How?"

"I'm prepared." I smile at him.

"Ah! A girl after my own heart..." We wink at me, and I roll my eye, while dropping a grenade on the path of one of the pursuing cars.

"Flirt later Kurz, preferably with girls over 18."

One of the cars rams at us, and I drop a grenade at them. The result? BOOM.

The last one, 'sniper-kun' took down with his own grenade timed with the braking of the car.

We stop for a breather, and looking back at the destruction I couldn't suppress the smile. A trail of destruction marked our path, and plumes of smoke could be seen from miles away.

"You guys are worse than my siblings in a bad day."

Then the noise of a turbine, a gas powered one according to Mao, drags our attention, making us shuffle inside the car instantly, but not fast enough to avoid seeing the large mech appearing from the foliage in front of us.

I take two shots at it, but not even my 30-06 reinforced bullets could put a dent in that armor. Luckily we have a good head start. I turn back in the seat again, noticing a drooling Karin below me muttering something about ideal softness, but both our attention was directed at the other emerging mechs in front of us.

Three of them. Appearing out of the foliage, one takes a jab at the small car and throws us backwards in a large rock. The Mao girl looked at the others. "Gentlemen, it was a pleasure, girls sorry about dragging you here..." before taking jumping off to take aim.

"I'm not giving up!" I drag Karin out of the car and run into the thick brush.

…

"Can I at least have a last kiss?" I hear the blonde ask, before he is pushed to follow us.

"Last kiss... LAST KISS!" Keiko exclaimed. We moved deeper to the forest, hiding in the thick foliage.

"It was a joke, girlie." Mao looked at Weber like she would kill him, while my sis turns to whisper at me:

"Karin, can you stop them?"

"No they have Anti-EMP cooper plates so that keeps me off." I hate when they're offline designed.

"We're screwed, Weber, save the jokes for later. Girl, do you got anything that could pierce that?" Mao asked.

Keiko offered them her Contender pistol, and the rifle once more to the guys. "30-06 sabot rounds." Then she pulled the Zeliska.

"Why the heck do you even have something like _**this**_!" Mao nearly shouted.

"I am prepared?" Keiko shrugged and turned to me. Grabbing me by the back of my neck, she shoved her tongue on my mouth in a deliciously fierce, but brief kiss. "Do your magic Karin!" My wings of greenish light manifested themselves and all of our witnesses eyes bulged.

"Lights of my pledge, give me the means to protect my Ashikabi." The words came to my mouth in pure instinct.

She pulled her M24 to give the extra time I need for my trick.

"Is this really the time for a _light show_ and _bad poetry_? And was not that your sister you were _kissing_?" One of them asked. I was still in cloud nine and not very sure who.

"She _is_ my sister! I only did _that_ because we needed a miracle!" She aimed and shot, not in the body, but in the eye of one of the appearing Savage-series Robots, and the bullet exploded, breaking the visual system of the mech. We started to run again, quickly, thanks to Ranma's training in obstacle course.

I focused myself, splitting my attention between running and searching for network connection. For Sekirei, power doesn't need to be trained, is instinctive, but set. For Half ones like me, it was a tweakable and versatile thing. My abilities already could be used to create things, but what I needed was something small enough to be useable either by me or Keiko and powerful enough to knock _more than one_ mech out. Impossible by normal means, but when Norito empowered I'm not _limited_ to _normal_. I found a nearby wireless network and searching through databases of the internet, reached the descriptions of something out of one old game, but extremely suitable for our situation…

I imagined my circuits like threads of a processor, and the commands of my intent like instructions being assembled. "Load," Molecular structure OK, "Compile," Mechatronic engineering assembly, viable. "Execute."

"Keiko! Catch!"

…

I heard Karin shout at me, sealing the M24 back in the cross pendant, and catching the steel cylinder she tossed at me. "What the heck?"

"Put you hand inside the tube, there are the triggers for operating it!"

I put my hand inside, and the device locked in my forearm. "There are four triggers here, Karin!"

An explosion rocked our left side, but instead of going right, probably what the enemy wanted, we go to the left, reaching an open clearing, much to our dismay. I notice that we lost the spies we were with somewhere along the way, but that is nothing that Karin can't fix.

"K, trigger one shot, two charges, three change ammunition types and four is useless."

"Here goes nothing!" I aim at the first mech to enter the clearing, while pressing charge. The device, whatever it was, whistled and started to hum and glow softly, then stopped, one second before the mech located us. I press fire.

Three beans of purple energy spiraled towards the mech, burning a breach on its hull, exposing the inner machinery and going out on its back. I shot again, this one a weaker beam that hit home in the arm of my foe, making little damage. His arm aims at me, but I move right and left, making myself a harder target, ignoring the painful debris hitting me. A second mech reaches the clearing, accompanied by a third identical Savage model. I charge another shot.

"Use the missiles, Sis!"

Another one appears, this one black and looking more human than the frog-like behemoths were facing. Two of the said frogs faced him and open fire, while the one I had hit earlier continued advancing on us. I turn and fire again this shot missing his leg by a few inches. He opens fire forcing me to charge in his direction, jump low between his legs, roll and rise to my knees. The rough dirt combined with debris of the impact graze my bare legs and arms, and hitting my dress-clad torso. But my adrenaline filled mind couldn't care less.

"At least I'm not wearing heels." I press the third button, and a red missile icon blinks in and out, then a green shaped one shows in the device. I aim at the center of the robot and open fire releasing the shot. The recoil throws me back at the dirt, scrapping my butt, probably ripping part of my skirt off, but I couldn't take my eyes of the blast. The mech body exploded in fire beautifully, and I suppress the urge to squeal. Unfortunately for me, I was carelessly too close, and a twisted piece of metal hit my device-protected arm, and ricocheted scrapping my other unprotected arm, making a half-inch deep cut.

"Nee-chan are you alright!" Karin called me from the other side of the smoke and dirt cloud.

"Had better days, but I'll live. How do I get this thing off me?" She ran at my side, and checked over my wound.

A black more human-like mech turn and tower ominously over us. Clearly a boss-type. I shove Karin back, ignoring the pain of my hurt arm, and aim the cannon at his head.

"Hush 'arsenal-girl'! He is with us." Weber appeared from the opposite side.

"Arsenal girl? I like it!" My sister inputted her two-cents.

"Shut it Karin."

"Saiai is so~o mean…" She singsonged.

"I'm hurt, wearing a dress _and_ makeup, and still armed with a _hand cannon_… Do _rea~aly_ want to provoke me?" I shot her my best annoyed look.

"I'm quiet." She looked sheepish.

…Elsewhere…

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY TOOK MY KIDS!" I shook the suit-clad goon one more time for emphasis.

"Unfortunately Mr. Emiya, they were taken as hostages by the now confirmed infiltration of the Mithril Organization." The old Capo told me. "If it serves as a consolation, your loyalty is not in question anymore." One of his bodyguards added as an afterthough. I will remember to disembowel him slowly for that comment later.

"We talk later. Let's go Shiro."

One of the guards tried to stop us, but I took a Tanto dagger seemingly out of my back to point at him. "Let him pass Jim." The old man said. "A man is allowed to save his daughter afterall…"

I pull the dagger away, and my chiming cellphone out and the screen popped on with a message.

_I was listening to __**everything**__. MC-4 protocol was put in practice, and status was red, but is yellow now. We will start to work towards green, but that might take some time. I took the liberty to ready Rider car too._

_M_

_PS: My daughter rocks! And Kei was not half-bad either._

_PSS: And just so you know, you're screwed. Not in the figurative sense._

I enter the car that had conveniently placed _itself_ in the front door, and drive. Undercover mission to hell, my daughters' safety will be taken care now, even if the world gets a new counter-guardian today… And I will kill this idiot who asked me to put my loved children in danger. Slowly and painfully.

"Shirou, your aura is darkening. Can you keep your ashura to yourself please?" Shiro asked me.

"Sorry, got caught up."

"I understand."


	16. Lost in the World, Southern Paradise

**Lost in the World 2 - Southern Paradise**

After our little incident in Sicily, we took off via a previous prepared escape route with the assault team that kidnapped the Capo's daughter. They were courteous, Keiko's arm was bandaged, but they haven't taken their eyes off us for a moment.

Of course, like all self-respecting military organization, our current _captors_ felt the need to an unhealthy amount of bureaucracy. Thus we were currently being escorted into a facility. "We just want to ask a few questions, and then both of you will be released." The blonde man with short hair and a goatee said seriously, short after our disembark from the helicopter.

As we entered an unremarkable room, goatee-san pointed to a table "Please leave all your weapons and devices here."

Weber, the blonde flirty guy, put the Zeliska, both Contenders, and the JTL on the table. As the Older blonde man raised eyebrow he simply pointed at Keiko and said "Hers.", making the left eye of the officer twitch.

Then Keiko smiled saintly and pulled the M24 from beneath he dress, the other JTL, her Heaven and Hell Colts 1911 and a Derringer. The guys stares were enough to qualify as sexual harassment.

"You said she wasn't carrying any heavy weapons, Kurz."

"I did say _apparently_, sir." The girl, Mao, looked at Keiko closely, and patted some… interesting places.

"How is_ this_," He picked the M24. "considered _discrete_?" It was shorter than a standard one, and the stock was retractable, but still kept a respectable length of 24 and a half inches. The guy seemed to notice that and he moved the gun a bit as if testing it.

"And you?" He turned to me. "Any weapons?" I shook my head. "Anything else?"

I shrug putting my MBiPad, cellphone, two flash drives, one mp4 player, my cellphone, two of my remote controlled mobile cameras and my portable HD. Still smiling at their idiotic faces.

"You kept a… _that_… 'down there'?" My Ashikabi twitched. And so the goatee did.

"It's my hentai collection. I thought it was quite _appropriate_." I shrugged.

The stern looking guy pressed play as to confirm what I said. His twitching increased. 'Heh. _Prude_.' Its only one of the S&M videos from Mom. It's not even the _tentacle_ one.

"Follow me." He guided us through a door to an typical interrogation room, like the ones from movies. I would have been more creative, like a comfy interview room with a few hidden cameras and microphones, but no, they choose to go for the bleak concrete/steel plus (the obviously) one sided mirror, and the stern looking agent trying (and failing) to glare us into submission.

"Sit, please." We did, and two mean looking guys strapped our wrists and ankles to the chair.

"Just a few questions? Then why are we tied to the chairs?" Keiko said in a defiant tone. I don't particularly _mind _being tied, but I would prefer that it was with sniper-kun. He was friendlier and would certainly make the situation interesting.

"And for that matter, if I knew you were doing this, I would have _shot _you all." Keiko glared indignantly.

"Standard procedure." Kalinin, as one of the guys called him earlier, said simply. "What is your names, and involvement with the capo?"

"I'm Karin, she is Keiko. As for the old goat, well… we crashed his party?" I offered. The man just snorted, proving that he had, unlike his appearance, some sense of humor. I still prefer Weber-kun. I change my focus on the guys on the other side of the mirror.

'_I walk in the maze of iron paths_,' I chanted on my mind. I love to crack heavy firewalls, but I don't have time to play with them now.

"How did you know that he will throw a party then?" He said, clearly humoring both of us.

"Father and uncle have a bakery, they asked for a delivery." Keiko answered.

"Sure. What did you said your father name was?"

"Emiya Shirou." I supplied, and focused on any machine in my operational radius receiving this particular input.

I picked a signal, and thankfully a laptop. Linking my ears to the microphones, I switch them on. _"-atches for Emiya Shirou. Two bakery owners. One a neighborhood grocery shop, the other is the owner of the Izumo Inn, the largest bakery of Shin-Tokyo, and official delivery for the MBI corp. I believe is the second one."_

"_Why would the Capo order delivery from Japan?" Mao's voice asked._

_I activated the webcam, after checking online that this particular model doesn't have an indicator LED._

"_Beats me. Maybe he wanted some __Chinese __for the party?" Weber joked, and she glared at him._

"_What the-! 22 wives! The guy is a womanizer!" The female in front of the screen raged. "Lucky bastard." Another guy out of my 'vision' range said._

"_Kalinin, ask for their mother's name." Tessa ordered._

"Your mother's name?" He passed the question.

"Emiya Matsu." I answered, pretending to pay attention. "Emiya Rin" My sister followed suit. Kalinin just raised one eyebrow at us.

"_Matched. The system detected physical similarities with their parents too. Must be true." The tech girl confirmed. These are quite powerful machines. MBI ones we're fairly better, but as a relatively new brand, some corporations consider us 'unreliable'._

"_Their IDs also match. Keiko and Karin Emiya. One 15 other 14 years, both female students." The 'out of sight' guy complemented._

"_If _you're story is true, explain just one thing: how did you got hold of military-grade and experimental weaponry, customized and fitted to you?" Kailinin raised one eyebrow turning to my older sister.

"A wizard did it?" I offered my traditional excuse. "_Several _wizards, actually." Keiko chuckled.

"Do you girls realize that this is a secret military base, you got involved with one of the top crime-lords of the world and are in an interrogation room? Also that the only reason you're not being tortured is that you helped us in battle?" He deadpanned, but his eyes showed a bit of curiosity.

"And the fact that we're underage." Karin completed. "It doesn't bode well to human rights to maim and kill little girls." She chuckled.

"How would I possibly know of your age?" He asked showing a hint of amusement. I definitely like those girls.

"Oh, come on! I've seen it in movies: You're probably wearing a micro-earpiece, and they're directing your interrogation on the other side of the mirror. They probably have our IDs, Address, school log and our three sizes." Actually they didn't check the last one, but Weber suggested it jokingly. If goatee was taken aback by the statement, he didn't show. Damn they're fast searchers.

"Yet, you two seem_ unafraid_?"

"If intimidation worked against us, Uncle Gil's suit of armor would never get died pink." I chuckled. "And for the record he is wa~ay more intimidating than you."

"Your uncle has a suit of armor?" He did raise an eyebrow at that.

"He collects antiques. Hell, he has some stuff from the time of the ancient Sumerian kingdom." Kei said.

"I doubt it." Kalinin deadpanned. "The guns?"

"I collect it." Keiko said simply. "Our family has _weird_ hobbies."

"Lies. You live in Japan, and weapons are forbidden there." Kalinin pressed the girl.

"You know, _Sousuke Sagara _is a Japanese name…" she shot back immediately. I giggled. She remembers his full name. I was right! She has a crush on him!

"-at so? What makes you think that is his real name… Besides he is an international agent." He crossed his arms, and changed his weight from one leg to other. We're cracking _him_. That is rich!

"_Take that smile out of your face Weber." I had switched to audio only to pay more attention on the spectacle in front of me. The stern man interrogating us was failing to keep control, and his hands were twitching discreetly._

"_Oh come on. You have to admit that's funny." Was the friendly sniper response._

"Well, I have an International weapon's license… And quite some championships on my belt too…" Kei offered.

"_The girl speaks the true. First 1__st__ place in a national airsoft shooting annual at six years old, Several shooting prizes at seven, with real guns. She is a prodigy. She has been awarded a military-class weapons license by MBI, on the behalf of Japanese government, who funded her participations on the tournaments." The male tech confirmed. That is Kei-chan for you guys. I'm quite proud of her._

"How did you got hands in that 'hand cannon', as you called it?" They immediately quieted in the other room. Looks that was the question they all wanted the answer… And likely this guy's patience was ending.

"That is classified information." I shot seriously.

"Oh, come on. That is _our _line!" I heard the complaints in the other room. I carefully assured my face was as blank as I dared.

"Believe me, we _do_ have the clearance." His eye twitched once, and his hand followed suit.

"Ask MBI then." Keiko put the icing on the cake.

"We're only subordinate to the UN itself, so spill it." The old officer was now on the verge of losing his patience, but kept cool or at least masked it well, only his voice growing more anxious. We're definitely cracking him.

"Do you know about project Sekirei?" I baited.

"_I heard weird stuff about that… Alien technology, super-human powers, polygamous wedding in Japan… Also stuff like kissing a girl and giving her super-powers." One tech commented. "And bloody street tournaments." The girl added her two cents in._

"_How does a simple__ baker__ have 22 __wives__, a __mansion__, __maximum clearance__ in __MBI__, a __few__ other __organizations__, and we simple know next to __**nothing**__ of him? There is something wrong here, guys." The strategy director raged._

"_Public MBI registry says he won the Sekirei tournament, whatever that was, and gained a billion Yen, along with the right to marry the girls. Local records also say he took Kamikura Island from the corporation as part of the prize, and built the bakery and mansion with the reward." One of the bridge bunnies called._

"_Who was MBI director then? It stills the same person?" The old man asked._

"_Back then it was Minaka Hiroto, now missing. Then Takami Sahashi, who then transferred the company to her son, Minato Sahashi, who is rarely seen in public, and leaves the company to her and the board of directors. He is said to be competent, but bad at attendance." Tech-girl answered._

"_Place a request in the name of UN about the Sekirei plan Info. Data, logs, IDs, __everything__. I want to know what the hell that Sekirei plan is. The girls stay in base for now." He demanded, all the while glaring at the colonel._

"_Yes, but let then in charge of Urz team. They might get more comfortable like that." She conceded seriously. "But let them stay as__ guests__. Maybe we can have __them__, whoever __they __are, as allies."_

"_Yes Colonel."_

"-reyou listening to me?" Goatee's voice asked louder. I made a show of yawning and looking bored.

"Sorry, I spaced out here for a sec. What did you ask?" His twitching increased.

… Somewhere in the pacific aerial space…

"So, they are not in any_ immediate_ danger…" Rin said seriously.

"I like that Testarossa girl." Kazehana commented off-handely.

"Shirou_ko_-chan what do you think?"

"Could you unbind me, and return me to my original _gender_ pleaaase." The red and white haired girl whined. "You had your fun, I suffered enough, and-"Anything else that he, no she would be saying died in her throat as Matsu entered the room with unmentionable 'toys' in her hands.

"You are _**not **_off the hook yet, _darling._ Do you have any idea how frightened did I got when they were stalked by that mech?_"_ She cracked a whip. Shirouko just gulped. "Or when they got cornered in that clearing…"

"Miya-sama, please." The boy made girl changed the target of his pleas to me.

"You brought this on yourself." I turned to leave the room.

"What about the lewd acts she will…"

"Thank whatever gods you will, it was not _my son _that got kidnapped, or _lewd acts_ would be the _least _of your concerns, little _girl_. _This time _and this time only, I'll postpone Matsu's punishment." I said in a dark tone. The other girls ignored the pleas and complaints in favor of their discussion.

… back in Merida Island base …

"You'll bunk here for the rest of your stay with us girlies." The woman, now named as Mao, said.

"And show me your shooting abilities later, lil' girl!" Weber said.

"She is underage and _off limits_, Kurz." Mao said. "Go drink at some hole. I'll join later." She pushed him away. "Don't mind him. He is a bother all the time…" he just made a face at her back.

"Not worse than some of my brothers and sisters, believe me…" Keiko chuckled sending me a pointed look, I just wiggled my eyebrows suggestively in return. Kurz smile widened. She is so~o fun to tease.

"Big family?" Mao raised an eyebrow.

"You have no Idea."

"I've traveled the world and saw things that would break lesser minds. You can't surprise me that easily." She dared. Wrong move.

"Oh come on, you were watching the interrogation… And I bet I've saw weirder things than you." Keiko smiled.

Mao eyebrows shot up and she smiled back: "Bite me."

"I've played tag in a carrier, met a few presidents and emperors, visited Roanapur… held _The Excalibur_ in my hands, worn the blindfold of _Medusa_, the mantle of _Medea de Colchis_ and the armor of_ Gilgamesh_! I visited_ outer space_ in an_ alien_ spaceship, and met the _King of the universe_, which is my uncle-in-law by the way." She struck a haughty pose like the ones Tsukiumi-kaa-san usually do, and I noticed how it emphasized her talents. She is growing bigger I'm sure. I'll have to check it later.

The black haired woman twitched. "The first three ones I believe, the rest is bullsh*t." I wonder why no one ever believes us.

"I told you my uncle collects antiques." Kei shrugged. "About Sagara-kun…"

Weber interrupted instantly: "He is dense as depleted Uranium, and taken for that matter." I couldn't repress a soft chuckle. As Mao shot him a pointed look, he ducked inside one door, probably his room.

"What makes you think I was asking for _that_!" Came Kei's instant rebuff, and I input my two cents: "And in our family that means nothing."

"I mean," She shot me a dark look, "Why did you guys infiltrated a heavily armed international agent, who knows _next to nothing_ about _subtlety_ in a _civilian_ school? He will cause more damage than prevent!" Nee-chan exclaimed.

"That is confidential." Mao shot back. "Can't we talk about something else?" then her eyebrows shot up again, realizing something: "How did you know about him!"

"We studied in his school for a while, but a prank from my older sister got us expelled." I said.

"From the same school that Sousuke did everything except maybe, and I stress the word _maybe_, bombing?" Weber popped his head from his door. "Now_**that**_, is saying something! What did she do?"

"I leave that for your imagination."

Not that any of them would know, Dad make sure to cover _that _incident quite thoroughly. Summoning an ancient mythological beast in a school full of normal people and an armed freak did cause quite a_** boom**_. It took heavy application of magic, mass dream manipulation and even a few creative uses of _the blue _to fix that. But I think Sousuke still shudders at seeing _any _lizards…

They showed us a room across the corridor from Mao's and left us to bathe and change in private. As they didn't had any cameras in the bathroom (damn it!), I focused in cracking the firewall for a more permanent form of access to their terminals…

…

I did it! Accessing security room protocols… done, let's see which cameras have interesting feeds…

Mech hangar, Submarine bay… these guys have nice toys!

Conference room. Off! Suspicious, let's turn it on!

"_- I tested it! Hell Tessa, that thing is __**amazing!**__" Sniper-kun almost shouted._

"_Is an __**official**__ reunion, Weber. Please refer to Colonel Testarossa appropriately and remain calm." Goatee stated coolly. "But for all that matters, that gun looked quite the piece. As looked the Colts too."_

"_She must be a whispered. That gun, is __**not**__ a normal one. Smaller, lower recoil, improved precision, lighter, more powerful and silent. The scope is a work of art! Optic sights layered by a LCD screen that adds thermal, night and even electro-magnetic readings! All revested by that metal casing that it's tough enough to use as a __**hammer**__. I never saw __**anything**__ like that, and you know how much guns __**I've**__ seen." Whispered huh? I'll check what that means on the database later._

"_I'll look into it, Weber. Dismissed." Tessa sighed. "And call Emi-, erm __**Keiko**__ as you go."_

"_What do you think, Mr. Mardukas. It's possible they-"_

"-Karin!" Keiko shook me off.

"Yeah? Whaddya want?" I fake drowsiness, as they _are_ watching this room. She looked at me strangely, but dismissed in favor of my hand on her thigh. Soft, _smooth _thigh.

She shrieked, and threw a _reinforced_ pillow at me, that I wisely avoid. "So cold. I wonder if you would react like that if it was someone _else_ coming in to catch you without panties."

"Someone _else_?" Her eyes widened as she caught the hidden meaning, but continued our childish games "What are you saying you perverted nutcase!"

"Iya~an, Saiai! Not so hard! Be gentle, gentle!" I moaned as she bopped me upside the head.

Someone knocked the door. Keiko hastily put some pants on, and I left to the bathroom. Closing the door, I turned the water on and sat against the wall, and exhaled deeply…

"_You called me, Testarossa-san?" Keiko entered the office, and at the commander's gesture sat at the chair. She briefly looked at a few notes on the desk, which I couldn't make due to the lack of proper zoom lensed in this camera._

"_I just wanted to know if your needs has been taken care. Are you both comfortable? Do you need anything?" She asked concerned._

"_Yep, I'm fine. Karin is complaining about not being allowed to use the internet, but I think she understands about security risks, she is just... being herself." She sighed. Heh, I'm never without internet access, unless the Internet itself is shot down._

"_You worry about her, right?" A gentle smile graced the colonel's face. She is soo Kawai!_

"_Our relationship is... Complicated. I love my sister as part of the family she is, but a __bit __more. She is just... too affectionate." I felt my face heat at the memory of our last kiss, and Tessa looks curiously at Kei, both was also blushing and embarrassed._

"_I could see how difficult it must be... Loving someone you couldn't have." Oh, I want my beloved to be happy again… not again. Why don't people just share their lover's and stop the emo moping already!_

"_What! No__**n**__o__**no**__! I love her as a dear __friend,__ my__ best__ friend and my __sister,__ nothing else! No-thing El-se!" Deny as much as you want sis. I __felt__ your love! I know you like me and I __won't stop__!_

_Tessa's face grew distant. She was not thinking of us anymore._

"_If you had to hurt her feelings to make sure she was safe, would you?" She was not asking about Karin anymore, that much was clear._

"_Only if I didn't found another way." Kei offered. "Feelings are powerful things. Despite the fact that science could not explain their effects on our efficiency, the results speak by themselves."_

"_Yes, but they could hinder as much as they could help."_

"_Would you send a wounded soldier to the battlefield?" My sister changed gears._

"_Not if I could help. Sometimes the decision is beyond me." The officer lowered her head._

"_Emotional wounds are much like their physical counterparts." My Ashikabi shrugged. "Just remember that."_

"_I'll, thanks." The white haired girl looked sheepish. "Sorry, to be a bother, I just have this thing on my mind and I kinda…"_

"_Spoke without thinking. I Understand. One of my brothers does it all the time…" I smile at them. I don't know if Kei-chan did it on purpose or not, but she gained the trust of a Colonel without even trying! Go, go Kei-chan!_

... with said Girl …

More than just her words bothered me as I left her office. I don't have my sister's memory, but part of the blueprints was much alike a protection field one of my brother's to my comfort. A _magical _bounded field in a _mech_.

Oh dear root. 'Muggles' dealing with magic in mechs, and worst of it, _without knowing_. I need a drink. Badly.

…

… Daaza Pub - Merida Island - 2050 Local time …

I sat a few feet away in order to observe my targets before I make my move.

"Such a troubled face, Sagara. So, what is on your mind? Chidori, Tessa, or that Keiko girl." Uruz-3 asked.

"I just don't feel right with my orders…" The implications of the Sniper's statement flew right through Sagara's head. "And I have this feeling like I've seen those girls before, or dreamed about them…"

"Yeah I know, I can find myself _dreaming _about them… they're quite pretty, pity they're so young. And they don't mind throwing a bit of _service_ if that kiss was some indication." Note to later: have Weber under a psychological survey if he considers two _sisters_ half his age dating material.

"One bottle of red middle-east wine please!" Another voice called from their right. Kurz almost fell from his seat at the sight of the now army uniformed girl, asking for wine and sitting in the 'reserved' stool.

"You know, this seat is reserved… And aren't you a minor?" He asked tentatively.

"I doubt you have anything here stronger than uncle's wine. Besides, Mao-san retired for the night, so she wouldn't be using the seat anyway." She dismissed.

At least he had the decency to point that she was too young to drink. Even if it was stupid. _I_ would have offered a drink to see if she gets loose lipped when drunk. In the end they got nothing conclusive on the girls from the interrogation. The other one just spouted a lot of technical stuff that eluded even our professionals on the preliminary analysis. And now command think they _both __whispered__._

"That isn't the issue. That seat is from our _ex-_commander lieutenant." Sagara said simply. I refrained to get involved instantly, choosing to observe the girl from afar.

"Oh." She stood up, noting the almost solemn air of the two soldiers.

"Well, at least you have good taste. Red wine, huh?" Kurz lightened the air, while the subject, Keiko seated in another empty stool. "Did your uncle know you took his stuff?"

"Knew?" Keiko giggled. "He _offered _me. He said it was OK, considering the problem I was dealing with."

"The problem being?" Kurz was now curious.

"Karin. She is impossible to deal with, and can drive anyone crazy if given enough time."

"Is she _really _your sister? I mean… you two…"

"Kissed? Yeah, She _is_ my sister, is just… _complicated_…" She practically stolen the bottle from the barkeep, and drank half of it at once. And by the label, that stuff is quite potent.

"So you're in an incestuous lesbian relationship with your _sister_? That is ho-" Kurz was interrupted by a Thompson Contender finding its way to his mouth. He almost fell from his stool and with good reason. Sagara reacted drawing his own pistol but she tracked him and both ended pointing guns at each other's face. She is good. Like a trained assassin, or a mercenary. I doubt she is only 15. And Major Kalinin didn't give her weapons back. What the-?

"Forget it, blondie. This conversation is over." She took both weapons back. In all the exchange she _never _left her seat.

I made my way to the 'reserved' stool and sat down, asking for water. And they came to me spouting the same bullsh*t. As if it would work. "Since you're new here, you might not know, but you can't sit there. This is Lt. Mcallen's seat."

… back with Keiko …

Ok, I did overreacted, but in my defense I am awake for more than 16 hours, had been in a fight with a mech, interrogation session, and Karin's antics when I tried to sleep. Now I have to deal with one perverted blond sniper that was trying to get self-pleasure out of my sister and mine relationship, so I feel perfectly justified in trading the foot in his mouth for a gun.

In the end, I was thankful that a new face entered the conversation after the incident, even if the brown skinned guy repeated my previous mistake and didn't apologize for it. The brash guy was quite arrogant in fact. Like he _wanted _to fight.

When the guy won bar fight, more like curb-stomp one-punch battle, he taunted Sagara-san to take it to a mech duel? Seriously, which self-respecting soldier uses military property to settle private discussions like that? I understand fighting to blow off some steam, heck _I_ do it fairly often, but I don't go breaking people's stuf-. Scratch that. I think I do it... sometimes.

But he was supposed to be a soldier, _discipline_ and all…

Something smells fishy…

So I followed them. Out of curiosity, I think.

While my skills in stealth are bellow Karin and Riko, I'm still way over a _normal_ soldier, and mechs _are _quite easy to track being over 10-foot tall and all.

Black fought white, and the earth shook beneath my feet. I felt something that I haven't felt for a long time… defenlessness.

I'm not invulnerable by any means, but I'm used to fight in equal terms with opponents, since as fragile as I'm, _my _shots can kill _almost _anything. When Karin told me the RK-92 we fought in Sicily was the _weakest _Arm-slaves, I didn't worried much, expecting a little difference in power, or better weaponry, but these mechs are simply… overwhelming. They move like people, but they're five times taller and hundred times heavier! It's like I would be squished if I got any closer.

Black put white down, and taunted about some _lambda _thing, which white answered by standing up and directing his fist to black. I felt the artic chill of a magic being used around, magnified to insane heights by the sheer size of that _thing,_ but nothing happened except for black punching the daylights out of white, and a crew coming to see the results.

It was really a scam it seems.

"Excuse me, miss…" And looks like I was caught too…

… Merida Central Headquarters 21:35 Local Time, Andrei Kalinin PoV…

"They're here." Colonel said simply. Ten people in total. Emiya Shirou and some of his (supposedly) wives: Rin, Matsu, Miya, Karasuba, Saber, Kazehana, Aoko, Akitsu and Rider, if the files are to be believed. After a few more investigation we found some (almost confirmed) rumors that three of them had leveled an entire city block, of Roanapur, no less. And other rumors even more outrageous. Like that Aoko woman vaporizing an entire island, for one.

"Hello Testarossa-san. We're here for our children." The short lady with twin-tails said in a demanding tone.

I intercept. Colonel is too soft hearted to these kinds of negotiations. "Why would we give them back? We have found them involved with criminals in the Interpol's most wanted list. Along with your husband and his unidentified accomplice."

"Kalinin!" My soft-hearted commander shot me a surprised look, but the man cut anything she might spoke.

The man stepped forward, "With the best intentions at heart I assure you. We only wanted to take our children back home. We will cause you no problems and in turn you forget we exist too. How does that sound?"

"If we refuse?" I match his intensifying glare. "Remember that we have two of your daughters as hostages. You could give us your real identity, affiliation and purpose occupying a large portion of Shin-Tokyo as a proof of good faith."

Then all of them laughed. "You have them? As _hostages_? You're lucky that they haven't wrecked this place as it is!" The red haired woman spoke in a cheerful tone that sounded like doomsday to all my instincts and chilled my stomach.

The worse is that it sounded _impossible_. The two girls weren't scared, they taunted us even when tied up and held helpless and alone in a room. It was like they thought they could simply get up and _walk away_ if they _wanted _to, and they were humoring us out of the _kindness_ of their hearts. But at the same time my instincts screamed that I was ignorant, lucky and shouldn't play with them again.

The ashen haired sword wielder step forward and spoke to her husband: "They refused. Can I kill them now?" Loud enough for all of us hear, in a tone as if talking about the weather. Yet she receives a dry look back. "Awn, I wanted some fun." She pouted.

Tessa intensified the annoyed look she was giving me and I deferred to her. Then she spoke: "We were returning your daughters in the next programmed flight to Japan, Three days from now. I apologize for my subordinate's rudeness, but your girls were witnesses of a terrorist attack and must finish relaying their angle of the story. They weren't cooperating, so it took a bit longer than we expected." She bowed.

Emiya bowed back and his face softened. "I thank you for your hospitality-"

"Colonel! A situation B12A in region J51CS requires our intervention!" One soldier interrupts with an emergency relay. A terrorist attack in Hong-Kong? With what purpose?

Colonel looks back at Emiya, that he answers with a smile "Go. We talk about it later. Just let us get our daughters and we will be on our way. I'll let a phone contact with your Lieutenant."

"He is actually a major, Shirou." Another of his wives comment, and he apologize, actually sounding sheepish! They expect me to believe that they don't have military training?

The guards came back with the girls, one sleepily and the other dirtied and… afraid? Of what?

"Keiko? Daughter, are you all right?" Her mother seemed a little awkward at the shaking girl that latched on her arm, but they all choose renew their glare on me instead of taking note of that.

"What happened?" Keiko clamped down, and looked more composed at that.

"Erm, Testarossa-san? We could provide some help if you want." Looks like the redhead with braids (the older one) actually knows what is happening.

"How? What could a baker could have that can stop a mech?" I shot down the idea instantly.

"I could ask MBI for a medical support team, satellite monitoring, or orbital support." The man offered. Thanks for reminding me that we still don't know _why _a _pharmaceutical _company have a _group_ of _killsats _over our heads and a_ baker_ controls the company like he _owns_ it.

"And we would like to go too. They put our kids in danger, I would _love_ to get my hands on them…" Keiko's mother said darkly.

"That would be appreciated." Tessa agreed! "We're short on doctors, and any help in figuring our enemy position would be extremely helpful."

"Darling, not to interrupt, but I found a rat." The blonde, well _taller _blonde had a purple haired girl by her blouse.

The man pinched his nose. "Riko… what have I said-, nevermind." He sighed. "Why?"

"I was bored?" I failed to suppress I snort. We were afraid of a man that is fooled by his daughter?

"Why does _that _answer always precede the worst disasters known by _mankind_?"

The girl shrugged in response, and I found myself sighing along with him. "They can stay in the submarine, and we leave them in Tokyo when this all ends…" Tessa offered. Kids are such a hassle.


	17. Experiments

"Come on, help me here!" The girl made puppy dog eyes at her shorter sibling.

"Nah…" He, didn't even looked up from his current occupation, a table full of materials for his preferred craft.

"I'm asking you, pretty please, Otouto." The girl reiterated her assault with batted eyelashes, a diabetes inducing voice, and a pleading expression.

"Go ask Karin-nee-san, or Matsu-kaa-san. They are even better at this than I am…" He responded absentmindedly.

"You know what they would ask in exchange. And _THAT _is a price I would rather _NOT_ pay. And they're not good with magic."

"You fear them for what they might ask in exchange, but not Father and mothers for what they could do if they got wind of what you're doing? That doesn't make much sense." His answer was punctuated by a slightly shake of his head, and an almost imperceptible chuckle. "Ask Mikado-san or Mizuho-san then, they-re quite well versed in technology too…" He offered lazily, changing his lollipop from one side of his mouth to another. Then he got one tube of whatever-that-might-be, and inspected against the light.

"They would tell dad, and I will be grounded for a month. And the problem still the same: They're good with technology, not magic. I want a magitek device."

"What makes you think I will not tell dad? Or that he wouldn't end up knowing, for that matter?"

"If is already done, and stable, he will allow it. Just like he did to grandpa's presents."

"I wouldn't be so sure but…" He sighed. "Ok, you win. But I will need the blueprints, a mana jewel, and _YOU_ will pay for the material." He didn't actually stressed the word 'you' but my mind emphasized the main point anyway.

"Yep, I know."

"And you will get me an extra jewel for an experiment." I groaned. He don't have idea how much costs for me to do one of that. He looked at me, and gave one of his rare non-lazy smiles. My annoyance melted. Few things could make my cousin to smile like that. If it costs me a jewel, so be it.

"Thanks Sou-kun."

"Ye're Welcome, Keiko."

"Would it complicate things if I don't actually HAVE the blueprints?" I drop the bomb.

Unlike I expected he looked at me, and behind his usually lazy expression, I saw a fire, like when dad experiment with his runes. "It may take some extra time, but I think we could do it…"

…

I take the jewel-like device in my hands, and look at it closely. Nothing out of ordinary, even at closer inspection. I flow mana though it, and the pearl shaped jewel grows and form a short staff, with a few decorations on top. Then it blows up, tossing me four meters back.

"Prototype gamma: Failure." Souchiro says lazily.

"I can see that!" I answered, my anger showing in my soot covered body.

"Just ticking it off." He shrugs. "At least we made an underpowered version as a prototype."

"Yeah. Let's go back inside before uncle, one of moms or dad gets back."


	18. Kei's Code

I like lots of things, and dislike very few, in special misdirection, lack of information, being away from my family and my Ashikabi. Maybe that is why this situation bothers me so much.

Kei have locked herself in her own world. And in her room. Oh, she have done it before, namely when some major powers or weapon making corporations have released a new 'product'. But this time is different, instead of being away for a day, she never left her room for two weeks, three days, four hours, and two minutes. She stills eat and go to her bathroom, but is annoying to even watch her spy cameras. Souhiro knows what she is doing, Dad and Rin-kaa-san have a few theories, but I'm left in the dark. And I should have seen it coming dammit!

… two weeks, five days, two hours, and fifty minutes before…

"What are you doing saia~ai?" I seized her by her chest, groping her deliciously soft mounds in my hands.

Instead of the expected explosion (of temper and plastic pellets) came the almost mechanical dismissal: "Studying, and gathering materials for my project. See you later." Then she got away from my stunned hands, and proceeded to put a few blueprints in a box, and left to another room.

… later that same day, after dinner …

"I'm full, if anyone needs me, I'll be in my room."

…

It sounded a normal thing to say, specially coming from Saiai. She, from time to time, tried (keyword: tried) to get away from the explosive and chaotic routine of our house, to study her magecraft in peace. We always dragged her back, kicking and screaming after a few hours. This time, however, she prepared herself way too much. And Dad and Rin said she should be left alone too…

"Not fair, not fair at all!" I fumed. But unlike some brother of mine, I avoid colliding with the person in front of me, without even taking not of who exactly he was.

"What is not fair Karin-chan?" Dad's voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"Dad!" I glomp him, in a way that he calls 'Ilya style'. "The meeting was faster than last time." He states happily. "They probably resigned themselves to the fact 'Minato Sahashi' was going to keep the same policies from the last years…" He chuckles. "Enough boring politics. How are you doing, dear?"

"Keiko, stills in her room, and I'm getting worried…"

"Relax, your sister" He still doesn't refer to her as my Ashikabi, "is only caugh up in her research… I used to do that when I first married your mothers all the time." He scratched the back of his head, and I could see the unspoken message of 'that it, when your mother didn't get me for her own research…" I laughed at him.

"Dad, would you help me with my tracing?" I ask innocently.

He immediately looks at me in suspicion. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, Saiai have a weapon's fetish right?"

"You mean Keiko have a weapon affinity? Right." He corrected me instantly.

"Either way, I figure that I could get closer to her if I could make weapons too…"

He sit on the veranda in front of us, and patted his side, where I sat up. "Karin, dear. Just because your sister is devoting time to her studies and her preferences, doen't mean that she doesn't like you. One of the first cultural shocks I had with Sekirei, was your trademark single-minded devotion to your Ashikabi. Your sister loves you, more than should be considered proper, and that will not change, regardless of the fact that you prefer machines and she weapons. I like swords, and Miya too, but your mother likes computers. Do you see me giving your mother less attention for that?"

"Actualy, you tend to pay more attention to mother, than the others, but that is just cause of mothers antics isn't?

"Well, that is that, and I don't like the idea of reenacting another of her videos again."

We both laughed at that.

"The point is that you shouldn't change who you are to be closer to your sister, because that will only drive her away." He got up. "Now let's go to the range, and I will give you a few pointers."

... to be continued

I roughly woken up in the middle of the night by something exploding and maniac laughter, but thankfully, familiar maniac laughter… "Keiko!"

I jumped from bed, and got out of my room, in a flash of speed. Her door was unlocked, and the defenses, lifted, but only one of my 'mind threads' noted that, all the others were only focused in one thing: the girl I tackled to the floor, groping and ravishing her with all my strength, wings of light emerging from my back.

She shoved me back, "Get of me sis!" she pulled a shotgun out of hammerspace and aimed at me, the combination of shadows and moonlight of casting some sort of supernatural aura of darkness around her, focusing all the light in her eyes.

"What in the name of the root possessed you!" She was trembling in embarrassment, as a typical tsundere she is. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes have rings around them, and she was overall awfully looking to anyone else. To me she was gorgeous.

"I was thinking that you're never going to leave your room! I missed you so~o much!" I didn't care about looking childish, even with all my family at the door looking at us.

"Shh, I was going to leave… I… I was just fin… I'm sorry Karin." She embraced me softly, and I relaxed in her embrace.

…Next morning…

I awoke in a familiar bed, yet not my own. It took a few minutes that my mom dubbed as our 'boot time' to fully register what happened last night: I slept with Keiko. In the innocent way, but I slept with her.

"And they say I'm no good with mornings…" Kei chuckled from my back.

I turned, in time to catch she putting her panties on, and let myself admire her nice looking body as she never let me bath with her since my winging.

"Just don't drool on my bed OK?" She joke at me. Then she caught some pendant, in form of a square ruby that I've never saw before.

"What is that Saiai?" I call her by her pet name.

She looked at me in rage, but it disappeared in less than a second, being substituted by amusement: "My new toy, come to breakfast and I will show everyone what I've made!" She talked excitedly.

"Couldn't you've made a sex toy Kei-chan?" I whine at her, determined to get my tsun tsun reaction, but she held firm.

"Nah, I know what you're trying, and I'm not falling for that Karin." Then she pulled the bed sheets, making the cold winter air wake me instantly.

"Besides, that's wrong in so many levels that I'm not even wasting my time detailing then to you." She shot me a dark look, and left the room.

…

I got to the breakfast table, and anxious chatting was all around my siblings. Rin-kaa-san was smiling like the cat who got the canary, and Tou-san was muttering something like 'Please let me be wrong, if just this time…', until Keiko, still carrying that small bundle of hers, set it on the table in front of her customary seat.

"I have something, or better someone to introduce to you all." She unrolled the bundle, revealing the same ruby pendant, which she took in her hands and said:

Awake "Archer!"

The pendant shined, forming long, double-barreled gun made of dark metal, with bluish and silver trims, and a ruby jewel where the left-handed cartridge ejector. Her clothing also changed, turning into an 'Archer-esque' navy blue cape, and black clothing, with silver details.

"Why it had to be a gun?" Rin-kaa moaned in distaste. "Couldn't you have something more magi-like? A dagger perhaps?"

"Is not just a gun, it uses rune based bounded fields of warped space to load more ammunition than it should be possible, and reduce recoil and noise! Also imprints the bullets with magical enhancements, have a combination of magical and technological aiming systems and is a self-aware device." She assumed her mother's infamous 'lecture pose'.

"Basically, you made your own version of Raging Heart?" Shirou asked in disbelief.

"Yep, it has Rifle form, Spear form, and Saber form!" She nodded enthusiastically.

"When I explicitly forbid you?" He continued his question.

"Is perfectly stable, and locked to my use only." She said a bit subdued.

Rin started to talk, only to be interrupted by Shirou: "Give me one good reason for you to keep it."

"So I'm not disarmed like when we traveled to Sicily?" Dad mollified at Kei's offer so she just continued.

"Also, is always good to have guided attacks to prevent collateral damage." Dad nodded in agreement. "And the best of reasons? It's Archer's conscience trapped inside." Rin-kaa-san was the first to laugh, but everyone followed suit. Dad? He just took Kazehana's bottle from her hands and tried to knock himself out.


	19. Gun Freak

Keiko paced back and forth in a room for the unkeepth time.

"Come on! They're almost a week later in the delivery! My toys should have arrived already!"

Karin, who was in her bed, messing in her tablet, just lifted her face a bit. "Pent-up frustration? I'm sure I can help with that… fufufu." Her glasses misted and reflected light, but Keiko cut her short.

"Can you check the status of the deli-"

"For the seventeenth time this hour, sis. Still in production."

"Can't be **that** difficult, can it?"

"You made weapon designs out of your favorite games, sneaked into dad's study and used his computer to send them to MBI's most remote production line, and since then, you're having been stressing over it… There are really other things to think about, you know?" Karin chuckled.

"Stop snarking! You sound like Kyon! And you lecturing me about a one-track mind isn't the pot calling the kettle black?" She stood defiantly.

"I have a two track mind actually… I think about gadgets, AND 'fun stuff'!" Karin answered proudly.

"Screw you!" Keiko exploded.

"Yes please!" Karin cheered.

"AAAARRRRGHH!" The darker redhead almost ripped her ponytail off in frustration. "Forget the secrecy! I'm calling then! Karin, can you still do that voice warp trick?"… "Karin?" She called once more, still without response, 'cause her sister was out in her bed, with eyes glazed over, and mist coming out of her mouth.

"You perverted…" She snarled and caught the phone, dialing the code for an external call, and the number in her desk.

"Hello, goddess attendance hotline. What do you wish?" A sultry voice which would be more fitting to an erotic hotline answered. Am I some sort of pervert-magnet? And goddess! Talk about a god complex.

"What I wish is my own unlimited armory, as I already ordered, and if you oh so willingly to serve, you could also come as a bonus to keep it clean and tidy…"

A silent pause followed, and Keiko nodded absentmindedly, 'at least looks like she understood' he huffed proudly.

"Wish accepted." The same voice answered.

To be continued…

Yes, I'm giving Keiko MORE firepower! But she will be a CG. Now can you picture Shirou's reaction to the goddess? Or Shirou's wives at that?

Keiko's armory will be a halfway UBW, halfway GoB.


	20. Father Hen

I was surprised when she came, and not for the reasons some 'normal' people would be. Yes, she appeared from Karin's camera, but so does Medea-kaa-san, to the point younger kids still lock her in random rooms to see the 'Teleport Trick'. Yes, she was a goddess, her presence marked her as a powerful one, but so were Medusa-kaa-san sisters. Is just that she was so d*mn small! Three-and-a-half feet!

Somehow, I could hear the Root laughing at me.

"Can you stop staring mistress, I'm getting unconfortable." The little girl, Peorth, asked, changing her weight fron one feet to other, with her hands clasped at her back.

"You were cursed into a child form, when you should look what twenty-some?" I resisted my urge to smother her in hugs and kisses. I'm a serious mage, not some cute-loving girl.

"Yes." She answered calmly. And d*mn that voice and speech, so smooth, sexy and mature for tricking me into believing her to be an adult.

"You must look hot then, since you're pretty little cutie as it is..." Karin inputted her two cents, making the goddess eyebrow twich. I roll my shoulders popping them here and there to relieve the tension.

"I made a wish, that grants me your service, and a infinite armory, at my beck and call, with this neat dimensional storage space linked to my own Od?"

"Once again yes, mistress."

"Where is the catch?"

"Excuse me?" The heaven's emissary asks in surprise.

"What you guys from 'heaven'," I made the quote marks with my fingers, and dipped my voice in sarcasm, "gain from this deal? I doubt you guys give high-grade destructive equipment for free."

"I will explain with the technical details, since you're not believing me, mistress:" She seemed offended. "You're aware of heroic spirits, and his weapons right?" At my nod she continue, "We're much the same. We need people to believe in us in order for us to exist. As such we sometimes offer power and presents to people in need, to keep their beliefs in us. You got a class A wish approved, which is probably because you're not only believing in us somewhere later, but also spreading the beliefs of our existance later on."

"So I'll become a nun in exchange for my own Gate of Babylon?" I cast a look at Karin who was making a face of distaste at the notion.

"Gate of Babylon?" Her look became distant for a second. "Oh! Gilgamesh's personal Noble Phantasm. No, you're not becoming a nun. And your Gate of Babylon, so to speak, only contains normal weapons, and C rank conceptual weapons at best."

"Oh. The-" "So Kei have you little angel as a part of her harem now?" Karin interrupted.

"I'm not an Angel, though I have one, and I'm not a part of her harem either." She spoke calm as ever, probably ignoring Karin's perverted antics.

"Dad is going to be mad." I summed it up.

"Why should I be mad, dear?"

Oh sh*t! Speak of the devil... "Erm, she is going to spent the night?" I point to peorth. Dad, from the door, only raise an eyebrow at her clothing.

"Pleased to meet you, Emiya Shirou-san. I've heard incredible things about you." Father looked halfway confused at her adult behaviour, halfway skeptical about my answer.

"A pleasure, little lady. Have you eaten anything?" He asked with a pointed look at us, while lowering a tray with cookies and juice.

Karin looked confused until dad mouthed 'Age Candies' while Peorth picked a cookie.

"Is there anything you need to tell me Keiko-chan?"

I was sweating, no doubt my Od was also flowing irregulary and he picked this up. "Ah, hum, -" The analytical corner of my mind noted that Dad raised a hand at my uninteligible and distraught rant.

"Slowly, daugther, slowly."

"She made a accidental deal with some higher power, represented by Peorth there, for a Noble Phanthasm of sorts, and Peoth services." Karin relayed flawlessly. "I have the recording, should you need."

Tou-san took a deep breath, and tried to mask his newfound rage at the statement. He turned to Peorth "Who do you work for, and what is the price for her deal?"

"Dad-" I try to defuse it. He only raise a hand. Peorth flinches.

"I'm from heaven, and we only need people's beliefs, Emiya-san. No harm will be done to her, you could be assured."

He nodded, but added: "That is good to hear, for both of us. Harm my daugther in any way, and I shall destroy you, your little nifty world, and whatever exists in it. Endangering my sons and daugthers is... **Forbidden.**" And it came. Not the usual Ashura _mask_, but a blade wielding full bodied Ashura demon, _made_ of swords. Karin fainted, My mind shut off, and I don't know what become of Peoth-chan.


	21. Just Another Day

"Come on..." I groan trying to untangle myself from my current predicament. Since the day I presented my Archer MK-2 to dad, after a few weeks of isolation, Karin started with the bad habit of sleeping on my bed with me. And dad said nothing, witch I think is a punishment of sorts. And she while the weakest of the Sekirei, stills way ahead of me in terms of strength, or as Nii-san says the 'power of perversion' grants her enough to keep me pinned down with her in bed. Resigned to my fate, I turn my back on my dear sister, carefully raising her hand to 'safer' heights, like my stomach, and face the outer side of the bed- Peorth! "WHAT!"

"Shhh, your sister is sleeping." She commented. "You're..." I stop, no sense in asking the obvious. She is staying on my bed tonight. Is past 20:00 PM and dad and moms ALWAYS retire early, and not for sleep. Instead I turn the question into something productive. " going to ask dad a room tomorrow right? Else he might think you want to sleep here."

"I can do that." She says nonchalantly.

I noticed that shrugging does nice things to her- No. Just no. I DON'T swing that way."You wouldn't want to share a bed with Karin." I keep her hand from wandering again, higher this time. "She turns, cuddles, sleep-talks, and gropes..." I trail off.

"You like her, don't?" Her hands shot to my mouth instantly. "Unf nuffung unk zaff! U zunt swing zast way" I glare.

"Ok, is just that you only talk about her, guns, and her perversion, and explosives, and her craziness..." I kick her out of bed, gently of course. "Go sleep on the couch!"

"You don't swing this way, yet you sound like a angry girlfriend sentencing me to a time off..." She moves to the couch with a nice sway on her hips. "Good night sweetie."

"Shut up."

"I love you too."She said amused.

...on another room...

One of the girls mother's was laying down on bed, with her father embracing her back, the two of them, observing the interaction of the new resident of the manor through the viewing spell in front of them. "I don't think she is dangerous...powerful, yes, but also well inte-" the woman gasp interrupted her comments, as her lover playfully bit her pointy ears. "Shirou-sama..." She blushed.

"She will do well..." Said man chuckled amused, only to be interrupted for another of his numerous wives. "Anata, what did I've said about playing voyeur with this little perverts abilities?" She said mock-scolding, but a fourth voice, this one childish, cut her rant: "Oh, come on! The only difference between yours and hers perversion is that she likes to tie them up, while you like to be tied."

Two giggled to one side, four from the other, but one other added her two-cents: "Still, it worries even me that my husband gets interested in our DAUGHTER'S night life, how low did I corrupted you, Shiro-tan?"

Shirou rolled his eyes. But only lowered his kisses to the bluette's back, earning another gasp, while another of his lovers assaulted the same girl's mouth...

...They only woke early next morning because of the screams...

Shirou ran through the corridors, struggling to put some pants, with Saber by his side, to arrive in the door of Keiko's room, very concerned for his daughter safety.

Yet, instead of danger, he found A red faced Ivone with a very embarrassed Aya, and looking inside, his surprised daughters and guest, bind by their bed sheets in a very, very compromising position. The dark haired goddess was below, but facing the opposite direction that she should, putting her face under Karin's bottom and between Keiko's legs, while they were bind together face to breasts.

They all stared for a few moments...

Then he laughed, along with Matsu, even harder when Rin swatted his head, and turning around, applied a four precise sword shots to cut the offending textiles. "Just our family usual mornings..." And then turned on his ways to the kitchen, to claim the breakfast making rights for the first day of the week.

Life was good.


	22. Seduction Tactics

"What _is_ your problem, Karin?" Keiko yelled, getting out of the girls bath wrapped in a towel.

"Oh come on! Is just some skinship. Aren't we both girls?" The perverted hacker teased back. A few voices snickered at the background.

Keiko saw red, and responded acordingly. In a show of dexterity enviable to many malabarists she kicked a nearby basin up, spun to gain momentum and threw it at the other redhead square in the face. "That is the problem! Besides, not we both being girls, but we're _sisters_!"

"It was never a problem for nee-chan ... and don't run wet, you might trip." Sakura-kaa-san noted from beside her. Keiko just stormed out stomping ground and cursing in german.

Karin sighed. "Keiko-chan is way too uptight. How I wish her to give up restraints and get past the 'we're sisters' stage." She mumbled depressed.

"Ao-kun have the same problem. But being a boy he is so easier to tease..." Fuuko noted.

"Ulf-kun too!" Mae chimed from where Lala was washing her back, "Its soo fun to get him flustered!" the foxy girl squealed, her tails waving unconciously, causing Lala to squirm under the tickles.

"Is that so?" Karin glasses shined.

"Its a biological fact, actually." Chiho explained, entering the bath with Uzume and her daughter. "Boys have three to five times more libido than girls." She commented, thinking on what she heard. "Is not like they are perverts on purpose, at least most of the time."

"Oh. Is that so?" Uzume proposed, "What about last night, when Shiro-ch-" but was stopped by her Ashikabi's hand in her mouth. Woman in case who was a perfectly crimson shade from head to toes.

"Uzume-chan!" / "Kaa-sa~an!" Complaints echoed through the room.

Karin was nowhere to be found...

...

Keiko was working on her new toy, this one salvaged from a antique seller, and for once, studying someones else enchanted gun. A single muzzle-load pistol more precisely.

"Ke-i-ko-cha~an?" She almost dropped her new toy at Karin's voice. "Does she never learn?" was also grumbled between teeth.

"What do you want?" She called to the door of her workshop.

"I found a weird pistol that I wanted you to look?" Karin answered from the other side.

"What is the catch?" Keiko stiffened instantly.

"I want a kiss!" the gadgeteer proclaimed proudly.

"I knew it..." She muttered, but opened the door, and was instantly zapped by a weird pistol-like device. Only it didn't hurt. Her clothes tightened and shortened, probably the effect Karin desired,

"WHAT THE HELL, KARIN!" Came the baritone scream from her, now his throat. "Huh?" She, now He, looked at himself.

Gone was the short, cute girl. Now a teen boy taller, broader and muscled, but still slim in build stood in place, his face contorted itself in a scowl.

"Change. Me. Back. NO-" Whe the now boy looked at Karin he gulped audibly. There she was, the usually boyish glasses wearing girl was totally different of her usaul self. Instead of the usual braids two smaller framed her face, while the rest of her hair was down, a semi-surprised, semi sultry expression on her face, for once without her trademark glasses. Trailing down simple shirt was open, showing her budding assets, only a a pair of white panties covering her lower body. She gulped once more.

Karin didn't come just for a show, however, and pushed the now taller teen back in his chair, claimimg lips and invading his mouth. It laste for good 6.7 Seconds. Then surprise wore off, and she was pushed back.

"Karin, turn me back or..." Intimidation was useless it seems, for the hacker was in so much of a kiss-induced high to care.

"Will I be punished?" She mumbled once she processed what was said. Keiko's face was set aflame.

...

Shirou pushed the doors open, looking around for threats in his now conquered kitchen. "So much for a good meal... Why did they let the spices go foul? Did Kiritsugu bypassed the alarms again?" No matter how much he loved his son, he WAS a undeniable walking disaster in the kitchen. Looks like my claim on the kitchen will be wasted on buying japanese spices, I'm sure Gil had his with the Gate-

Any train of thought was interrupted by Karin streaking in the hallway under a hail of plastic pellets – no, REINFORCED plastic pellets – followed by a taller, very MALE Keiko, still in female clothing though, raining pain, rage and curses on her, erm his, younger sister.

"Come back here! Didn't you wanted punishment!"

"Not of this sort! Why do you have to be so violent Sai~ai..."

He considered that he might have drunk a bit to much in the previous night when playing with Kazehana, Rider and Miya. Yes, surely this was only his mind playing him tricks, or so his sanity demanded him to believe for its own protection...


	23. Rules and Gadgets

"What the heck is this son?" Yes, I could analise an understand blades with a glance, yet the question escaped my lips almost by instinct.

Souhiro shot me an annoyed look "A sword. Couldn't _you_ tell."

"Well yes, but..."

"Karin, showed me some Final Fantasy blades, and I got ideas."

"You know I'm gonna ban this one too, right?"

"You're going to put it with Keiko's bolter, C-14, Kumako's club, and Takeshi's Demon Blade? Why?" His look was even more annoyed.

"It has two nano diamond chainsaws as edges, two rifles that I hope you haven't got from Keiko, a high frequency vibratory spear as base, and two straight monomolecular superheated blades as flat sides, and you ask why?" I raised an eyebrow at him. Every description I gave his chest inflated more with pride. I sigh. "Have you ever heard of overkill son?" He deflated.

"Well, its easier to assemble that Cloud's blade." He shrugged.

I sigh again. "What were going to use that to? Kill mechs?"

"I just did it for the challenge. I don't really have a reason to use it." Was his lazy reply.

"I am more surprised that you haven't used any magic on it."

"It was part of the challenge."

"I'm gonna keep it. Consider my early birthday present, if you will." This way I avoid more property damage. And get a new blade for my collection.

He smile a lazy smile that lights his eyes "Happy birthday father." I found myself laughing.

"Thanks, but not forty yet son. Not _yet_."


	24. Ideals and politics

I was only passing through the living room, some of the kids bunkered in the couch watching some war anime...

"Karin, I sincerely hope you're not encouraging your sisters and brothers to watch adult anime again." I saw her red head flinch by a bit.

"Its not a hentai, I swear! It's a serious story, an no sex whatsoever!" She defended herself.

"What about blood?" I ask.

"Well, which anime doesn't have at least a bit?" She inquired.

"True, but some have a bit too much!" I retorted without thinking. Pulling the last all-nights have taking its toll on me. "Specially the ones you tend to like!"

I didn't paid attention to her answer, for I was draw to the dialog in the screen...

"...In this case I'll protect those few precious subordinates, and they will protect those below them, who will protect those below them. Even little humans can do that."

I found myself liking that anime already. "Who's that talking?"

"Tou-san?" She looked at the screen, "Colonel Mustang. He made a plan to throw a state coup, and institute a new system instead of the corrupted one. Like I was saying-"

"This anime is O.K. Karin. Now can you leave a copy of it on my desk later?"

"Of course dad." She grinned like the cat who got the canary.

"Without traps." She deflated immediately.

And so I became a fan of that anime.

…

"Dear, can you stop watching that thing and come to bed already." That was a note of annoyance in Karasuba's voice.

"Just 5 more minutes, dear, and the episode is ending..."

"Why do you watch that, when there are soo much more funnier things to watch on the net..." Matsu asked.

My brain halted for a second, but was brought back when Mustang blasted Envy's eyes in flames... talk about a useful ability. Might as well research runic designs to achieve things like that.

The closing credits came.

"Why do you watch that it anyway?" Rin asked.

"I like that Mustang guy's approach, protect people bellow you, who will protect those bellow them and so on..."

A very naked Tsukiumi asked from my right: "Doesn't that is impossible to work out, unless you're planning to make MBI a military organization, are you husband?"

Lorelei put her two cents in: "Not enough, he will still be under the country's law, and that will be difficult to work around, unless you're planing a coup." Trust on her to think about it politically. "Can't we leave that stuff out of bed though, it turns me off."

"Yes, not the time to think about it darling..." Altrouge embraced me from behind, much to Lorelei's chagrin. "It's my turn tonight!" She said coldly.

"Like he can't take us at the same time!"

"I refuse to share him with you!"

"Doesn't you do it already?" Karasuba asked. "If none of you will go first, I will then." She pushed her way on top of me, pressing my back into Alt-chan's front.

...

I find myself awake, despite my tiredness that night.

_"Protect those bellow you, who will protect those bellow them and so on..."_

That is a way to protect everyone, but you have to be on top for it to work... "And I hate politics. I like the direct approach."

"Oh how I know, darling..." I felt two mounds press on my back, and soft lips kissing my neck.

"Rider-chan..."

"Just make politics direct, then you can enjoy being on command." Aoko complemented. "Now back to bed, we're missing you. Better yet, just stay where you are." And she sat at my lap and kissed me.

...

"In my opinion we have two options: Take power of an existing country, or make our own from scratch..." Miya stated.

"We know how well that worked for the mage of the beginning..."

"Try for prime minister, Shirou, and we expand Kamikura all the while, and found a country to buy. Some might offer results." Matsu. Every way is a way for her.

"If that is how you think, no surprise you're bi." Was Homura's retort.

"I'm not the one who changed gender, am I?"

"Girls, girls..." I try to defuse the discussion. "It was just a passing idea."

"But is better that our current situation! You go play hero somewhere, and leave us for days unknown, than come back and have to deal with MBI related stuff leaving us alone! That is not a husband attitude!" Tsukiumi Chastised me. "If having our own country is the way to have you home, than have our country we will!"

"Don't think it will help, but if dear want it, well I'm up to it!" Karasuba shrugged.

"We will make it with the power of love!"

It was beyond me now, they took it on themselves and stopped listening. *sigh* Why do I even tell them things anymore. It will only came to bite me in the *ss later.


	25. The Last Day of Kamikura Island

"Father, they're invading through the south-east sector, and captured the Raikou village." The red headed woman said angrily.

"Damn it! Just when most of our forces are out in a mission!" Another red head, this a few shades darker, cursed.

"What is the destination of the captives?" The tired voice of the man asked.

"Scout drones confirmed they're being held captive until 'mentally-de-washed', we're sending our troops, and preparing the combat-able remnants of the clan to fight immediately." The first redhead stated.

"I'm going." The old man stood up. Every soldier around gasped. The King, no the God of blades himself was fighting for his country. He was old, he fought abroad, against oppressive governments, secret organizations, evil invaders from other planes and planets, he sweat and bled for his ideal, and founded a country in a remote island. He ruled with power, but compassion for his countrymen for a lifetime, but not satisfied, he was going to lead them himself in battle! At his eighty-and-some years, no less!

"Otou-san-" Multiple voices started in unison.

"It's final!" His voice didn't rise, but grew stern, "If I don't return, make Chiyo my successor. And bury me with Rin, Aoko, Chiho, Uzume and Sakura. And any others with me." His voice was solemn, but determined. We relented.

We climbed the hill till the coast village. Kamikura Island, now country was artificially made through elevation of the ocean floor, was a tropical country with abundant natural resources and advanced technology. But what made its fame was none of that, just its happy people. People that loved, no, idolized its ruler, to a point were no taxes were needed to maintain the government, voluntary donations did it. It was a _real_ utopia. But the UN suspected of mass brainwash. And didn't took our word or proofs for it, they launched an attack. Thousands against the five dozens of our clan, plus two hundreds of our self-defense force.

So we made our stand.

"If it is of any worth, faker, you've been a better ruler than I ever was. It's been an honor, King." In an unexpected act of humility, from the most unexpected person, Gilgamesh bowed to father. For the very first time.

"It's an honor to fight at your side, as always my friend." Father bowed back.

_"We are the owners of our dreams. Rulers of our land, makers of our peace."_ We said as one, no signal was needed, no command was given. All the inhabitants of the country knew that one magic.

_"We've shed our blood for this land, and brought our blades for this cause."_ Our ultimate chant resumed. The apex of our family research, a quasi-reality-marble that allowed for us to fight without restraints, but also without endangering those with us, makes even our area attacks selective-fire-like, hurting only our opponents.

_"As one we stand, as one we fight, for those we love, for the memory of the fallen."_ The enemy troops notice us, and start positioning themselves. We took cover. _Their_ speakers sound loudly, courtesy of Karin: "Those who give up and retreat will be spared! Those who try and fight us are already dead!"

_"That is our only power, this is the only way. One army men works."_ And our hearts become one. We felt as one, we attacked as one. Many powers, many minds, _one_ heart. The supreme secret of our country. They accused us of brainwash, but our unity makes it unnecessary. We care for each other as family. If you're here, you're _part_ of us.

Father charged, and I go with him, with a pair of Chinese blades, similar but different of Kanshou & Bakuya, in my hands. In his were the apex of his personal research, Ashura Rikudouko (six-paths of the Ashura), his personal set of blades.

"80 year old man my ass!" I hear a soldier scream in frustration when failing to shoot him. I chuckle at that, all the while approaching and decapitating a soldier. Another try to shoot point blank at me, only to find his arm missing.

Dad tear his way into the enemy ranks, in his usually suicidal ways, cutting arms, legs weapons and heads without distinction, changing between his six blades with deadly accuracy. Gone was the time where he could spam blades like machine gun bullets. Now, all his od is directed at reinforcement, and he started to carry his six swords when going to fight. I put my hands in the earth, and trace the storm of nameless blades from it, skewering every soldier in a 5 meter radius.

A tank made his way to Tou-san's path, killing two of their own soldiers. I saw both Keiko's and his face darken at that display of carelessness, and a large rifle appear in my sister's hands. That rifle.

Another tank came into my direction, turning his cannon at me. I shot my two mismatched blades at it.

"Spirit and technique, flawless and firm." I trace another pair. A soldier trying to shoot me is hit by one of our troops. I hear an explosion at my left, probably Keiko's finishing other tank.

"Our strength rips the mountains, our swords splits the waters," I strike once again, the blades penetrating lightly in the tank's armor. Father's chant finishes here, from now on is my version.

"Our names are known around the world, our family is loved and feared." I put both of my hands up and trace the third pair of blades, superimposing one with the other and break them.

"We try to attain heaven, and hold blades to protect it." I bring the blade down, straining my mana burst to the extreme. "One ideal, made true." My attack split the tank, and breaks through the soldiers taking refuge behind it, carving a trench in the earth.

…

It was my first battle, but I was not afraid. If anything I was angry, angry at their lack of respect for our home, for our people, and their cruelty in trying to de-brainwash more like mind-rape our country fellows. I had training and power on my own, like everyone in the clan. I've even earned my first mismatched duo! And I'm 17 dammit! I deserve be famous as one of our prodigy's, not made fun for my unusual hair color, mother to blamed for that.

"Hey pinkie, stop spacing out!" one of my cousins, Saya, called me.

"I have a name dammit! I'm no pinkie!" I feel my eyes turn red at the jibe.

"Only when you get a greater body count then mine!"

One soldier tries to shoot me, so I evade his aim, and throw my silver Katana at him, impaling his torso in a wall. Then I attack another severing his right arm at the shoulder.

I turn left and see gramps slashing through their ranks with his blades. 'I wish I had something _that_ cool.' Their retaliate with the assault rifles, but the old man run up a wall and sever one sniper's (that I notice was pointing the gun at auntie Keiko) arm, and spin to deliver a upward slash, probably cutting his neck off. The enemy's aim start to catch up but he, probably reinforcing himself with runes, jumps to the building across the street entering through one window while piercing another soldier in the process.

I skewer other soldier with my black Kodachi, and retrieve my silvery Katana.

A tank aim to the building, but the Prime Emiya escapes through another window using his spear, Nami, if I remember well, and breaking it in the chained pieces, and bring it down on two soldiers, wrapping one and cutting other, like we saw him do in some trainings. Then he calls his weapon with a flic of his wrist, and change to Reppu, a long nodachi, or I heard it was at least, with blade rune-reinforced for speed, and treated with invisibility. He cut one tank's cannon and caterpillars, and roll under the machine, evading a wave of shots.

I cut two soldiers stupid enough to aim at me and bite the neck of another, drinking his blood to sate my growing thirst.

I feel someone get back to back with me. I know it's an ally, but a glance confirm it to be Arashi. Saya calling for him in her taunting way: "Good to have you here, Cousin. Planning to earn your duo today?"

Ah, the mismatched duo. The unofficial tradition of the Clan, you're only considered an adult member when you receive one Black & White set of your preferred weapon, and prove yourself capable of dual wielding it. The eldest members turned it into the six-paths, the set of weapons themed after the four elements and the black & white duo, which gramps tuned to the extreme with his Ashura Rikudouko.

I toss the now dry body of the soldier after using it as a shield against an sniper, and Arashi turned to right shooting it with his unusual Pistol & Blade (both gray for the moment) duo.

I see my grandfather rolling off from the tank with a black bow in hands and his Yama (mountain), a large broadsword, as an arrow. I slash the chest of the soldier at my right without looking, my attention focused on the old man. Like me everyone in the battleground freeze at the display of prana. Even the normal ones feel it. That is a once in the lifetime moment, when I get to see one of his legendary broken arrows.

"And the blade became fragile, the blade became dangerous, it became broken." I mumble, remembering the stories once told me.

I barely see it once released, even with my reinforced eyes, but I see the results, two of the four enemy warships bursting in flames.

Spinning, I cut the head of another soldier, and turn to a third who drop his weapon and run away in fright.

I feel shockwave of one of Auntie Keiko's grenades at my left, and felt through our link two of our comrade's die. At the corner of my eye, I see gramps dismembering a captain and pinning it to a wall with his bluish spear through his foe's stomach. I kill another of the bastards attacking our home, and drive the blade through his heart with gusto.

Someone a bit more skilled than the norm hits my wrist, knocking my kodachi, and tried to skewer me with a machete, only succeeding in give my arm one gash that is already healing. I release the Katana lodged in the already dead soldier's chest, and claw at his face, which he evades.

"You're a fool giving up your weapons." He spat.

Then I felt my older brother die, and looking at my left I see his body falling to the sand with a vacant look in his eyes. My dark blood stirred at my anguish rage and bloodlust, but instead of putting it down as usual, I encourage it, embrace it even, directing at my brother's murderer. I lose it. My hair turn silver with red tinted tips, my eyes turn red. My fangs grew, and my pupils turn reptilian.

One idiot knock the Kodachi out of my hands, and I rip his head off with my bare hands, all the while ripping my way through their ranks and bathing in their bloods, a murderous smile at my face.

…

I rolled from bellow the tank, turning it into a crouch. Looking at the distance, my reinforced eyes took in the fighter planes ready to take off from the warships. But that wouldn't do! So I turned my Yamagami, and turning it into an arrow, broke and released aiming for a path that would hit two of the ships.

A plane comes down at me, and I'm forced to avoid its guns with a roll. Another came. I draw the bow string, always in motion, and do what I haven't done for some time now: I trace a sword.

Caliburn would be overkill for a mere F18, so Houtengeki would do. "_Trace on_" The plane dives, the arrow hits its mark. The arrow is released.

Through the link I feel the stats of all the soldiers of Kamikura. 36 deaths, 40 hurts-

That is when she appeared in front of me, bloody and battered, in such a state that I knew she was going to die. But if she was to go, it was going to be in the only way possible for her, broking herself to kill as many as she can... She kissed me delicately, and her wings of liquid shadow sprouted from her back. "Bye, my beloved." And then she disappeared. No, _time_ stopped, and soldiers all around died all the sudden, missing limbs, severed in a half or simple beheaded.

I shed a tear. "Good bye, my beloved Karasuba." Then and there I decided to break my utmost rule.

Drawing Ryuen, I spun on my heels sending a wave of flames around me for cover, and put the blade on my bow, flooding it with my od. Using a variation I developed based on Negi's techniques, I chant infusing the spell _inside_ the blade:

"Kenotetos astrapsato, de temeto. Dios Tukos." Unlike the boy, I cast it into a hushed tone, moving myself behind a beach café for cover and release the arrow, a clinical part of my mind take note that Gil unleashed Ea in another warship obliterating it and the soldiers in the way completely. My arrow hit the last ship, bursting it in flames and bathing the smaller ones around in a localized thunderstorm.

I focus myself, and the words came naturally, different from the previous times, different from my darker counterpart. I chant:

_**I am the sword of my pledge,**_

I saw a pillar of light in the air, probably Matsu using her abilities and striking down the incoming fighter planes.

_**Tempered in blood and tears,**_

_**I've forged tools of war for the sake of peace,**_

The other allies in the battlefield, sense my od and I feel their attention shift to me. Two even try to attack me, one being interrupted by Matsu's orbital strikes, other by a bullet of one of our island inhabitants.

_**Never straying, never retreating**_

_**I walk this path first, paving the way to my loved ones,**_

Somehow, even the enemies are looking at me now, the very air stirring at my attempt to change reality.

_**Certain of the victory in the end, I reach to this answer,**_

_**So as I draw the sword, Unlimited Blade Works.**_

The sky didn't darken this time, nor did the fire come. I felt myself in Kamikura, like nothing ever changed, but something _is_ different. In my hand is a blade of black, gold and red, and its name is Emiya. Around me every one of the warriors defending this island is standing, even deceased ones. Different blades in their hands, all of them from my arsenal. To my surprise even my late wives stood at my side, all of us in our prime.

We charge.

They never stood a chance, neither with tanks, nor with planes. It was a complete annihilation.

I felt the world trying to crush my Reality in favor of its own, but hold it for an extra moment. I turn to my wives, an expression of surprise never leaving my face.

"Is this real? Or is my mind playing tricks on me."

Rin came and kiss me lovingly, for once unashamed of the crowd around us. Others embrace me, and I savored the kiss, the warmth, and when we parted she teased me: "Wanted to do more but we're short on time, and in a too crowded place, honey..."

My reality fade, leaving me and the dumbfolded people in the beach around me, And I fell on my knees, felling the weight of my age and the abuse of my circuits taking its toll on me.

I faint.

...

We were in the middle of another boring conference with the UN, when we felt the pull. It was something that never happened before, but also familiar. My conscience splits itself between the conference and a battlefield, where I wore my younger body, along with a younger version of my father, and my mothers. I almost cried from nostalgia, but in battle letting your attention wander is a sin. We crushed the enemy. Rin kissed father. And I was back. Looking to my right I could see that I wasn't the only one who had experienced that.

Then the major representative said: "As that was the decision we reached, a preemptive attack was launched at the 15:00 of today-" I gasped, looked at the clock, 17:14, and back at the moron, "and all the members of the self-named 'Emiya Clan are under arrest for dictatorship, and international crimes too numerous to-"

Haru snapped at my right, his eyes going red. Negi, the Mundus Magicus representative as of the moment, stood up, but instead of a declaration he simply said the dreadest words for anyone who knows him:

"Actus Noc**tis** **Erebeae**..."

It was a bloodbath... And the start of the fastest world war in history of humanity...

…

I awoke in a different place, sort like a palace.

"I thought we agreed on you never using THAT again!" a feminine, melodic, but VERY annoyed voice asked me.

I raise my eyes to look at her. Sure enough, brown curly waist length hair, yellowish-green eyes, and figure that remind me of Rider-chan, and not a damn piece of clothing. "Gaia-sama?" She glare at me. "There were unexpected circumstances..."

"It's not an excuse for your stupidity! If you think you can keep forcing yourself on me like that, you are so very wrong..." She bend down, looking at my eyes in a fierce scowl, that doesn't make her face less attractive.

"But..."

"No buts, idiot! If you really want a relationship, work properly towards one." And she turned away.

My mind quoted Uzume: 'When your wives will be enough, darling, WHEN?' I'm almost ninety, and even if I look younger, I _don't _want another wife. "Gaia-sama?" Specially another Tsundere.

"Don't Gaia-sama me! I made a deal with the root..." My blood ran cold at her words, "And it involves you. You get your loved ones back, and every descendant of you a 'happy end', but I get you."

"Do I-"

"Have a say on it? No. You kept forcing yourself on me for years, and make me like it. "She huffed annoyed," I made you an offer, and you refused, we had terms and you broke them. Now you're mine." Her voice was stern, but with a hint of satisfaction.

"What kind of deal did-"

"I did?" Damn her and that habit of interrupting people! "Every member of your family that dies will be 'moved' to Avalon, which will be granted a super-imposing zone in the Emiya Mansion Shrine. This way you get to see your descendants, and you get your lovers back."

"And you get me?"

"You will only take responsibility for what you've done. I accept no complaints." Her smile became predatory.

"Does that marble that I casted were-" Will I ever be able to finish a question to her?

"Avalon? Yes and no, it was a product of your Unlimited Blade Works, fused with Avalon. I warned you that the sheath was being absorbed into your body last time we talked."

"Huh."

"Now back to your world, darling, and say your goodbyes. After you're finished, go to the shrine and cast your marble for the last time."


End file.
